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Before I begin this blog post, I’d like to let you know that this is quite a personal thing for me to write, but I wanted to share this with you as I’m hoping that if you’re reading this as a panic attack sufferer, I may help you in some way. Alternatively, if you are reading this and you know someone who suffers with panic attacks, I hope I can help you get a better understanding and display ways in which you can show support.

Anxiety is an awful emotion to feel, a feeling that cannot be controlled & you are unaware of it creeping up on you. Different levels of anxiety lie in all of us all the time. From a simple thing like “Oh no, I’ve got school/work tomorrow” to something a lot more nerve wracking like a scary job interview or waiting for your appointment at the dentist (I know I’m not the only one). Although anxiety lies in all of us, It affects people in different ways. When we’re stressed, our anxiety levels are much higher and some of us become a lot more sensitive to it. For those of you who are calm, collected and pretty fearless, you will have a much lower anxiety threshold. (I am jealous
of those of you who are like this)

Extremely high levels of anxiety, can, in a lot of people, cause panic attacks, whether you are aware of your anxiety or not.

I’ve suffered with panic attacks for 6 and a half years, and so i’m writing this blog post for those of you who struggle to understand, feel alone, need advice or need someone else to understand.

It’s understandable that not everybody “gets” what a panic attack is. In fact i’m pretty sure more people don’t understand than do, which is really sad. Even some of the people closest to me, struggle to understand exactly how it affects me, or my life, or some decisions that I choose to make. Even after hours of explaining, unless someone has been through a panic attack themselves, they will never truly or fully understand.

What exactly is a panic attack?

A sudden feeling of dread, the sudden urge to push your way through to the nearest exit, the whole room shrinking down around you and everybody staring at you and smothering you. In a split second, without you anticipating it, or knowing it’s going to happen, your body releases adrenaline. This adrenaline is released as your body is preparing for “flight or fight”. Something our brain is programmed to do in a life or death situation. You need adrenaline for a fight in order to be strong, and you need adrenaline for flight, in order to run fast and get away. This would have prepared our cave-dwelling ancestors to fight or run away from danger, but it’s much less appropriate to the stresses we encounter today. Clearly, we are not cavemen any more, and we don’t need to hunt for our food, but this adrenaline is released in situations like tripping over a step, being extremely excited, being on a roller-coaster, being in a fight, In an accident, adrenaline is released into our bodies all the time, but us panic attack sufferers
have a “SENSITIVE ALARM”.

My doctor said: “You are like the car in the street, who’s alarm goes off with the smallest gust of wind, whereas all the other cars, take a good beating before their alarms go off”, and really, that’s the best way it can be described in the very simplest of terms.

What happens during a panic attack?

Adrenaline is released, thus causing your heart to beast faster, and your muscles to tense. We breathe in more oxygen, which our muscles use to turn sugar into energy (even though we don’t need extra energy for anything), Blood is diverted to the muscles, making you pale and light headed. This also causes you to shake. Our digestive system shuts down, making your throat dry and making you feel sick. Your senses are heightened, you become more aware of sounds and smells around you (It’s like someone turned up the volume, and in a busy place, it was loud enough anyway).
When adrenalin floods your body, it can cause a number of different physical and emotional sensations that may affect you during a panic attack:

These may include:

very rapid breathing or feeling unable to breathe
very rapid heartbeat
pains in your chest
feeling faint or dizzy
sweating/Shivering
ringing in your ears
tingling or numbness in your hands and feet
hot or cold flushes
feeling nauseous
wanting to go to the toilet
feelings of absolute terror
feeling smothered
feeling claustrophobic
being extremely emotional/uncrontrollable crying
feelings of unreality, called depersonalisation and derealisation.

Panic attacks come on very quickly, symptoms usually peaking within 10 minutes. Most panic attacks last for between 5 and 20 minutes. Some people report attacks lasting for up to an hour, but they are likely to be experiencing one attack after another, or a high level of anxiety after the initial attack. This is what I suffer from, If I ever have a panic attack, it will NEVER last 20 minutes, it will always spiral, until I can be alone, somewhere I feel comfortable, which can sometimes be hours away.

I’m not 100% sure what first triggered my panic attacks, although I will explain it below. The only major downfall for me, was that my brain stored this panic attack away so that when I re-entered a similar situation, my body had learnt to react in the same way.

This is the way I like to describe it:

“Imagine that your brain is filled with hundreds of filing cabinets full of different information. You have memories, things you’ve learnt..etc. Well, there is this one filing cabinet that stores every panic attack you have. Where you had it, what happened, who you were with, what you were doing, what you were eating, what you were drinking, everything. When you re-enter the same place, with the same people, or do the same thing, that cabinet unlocks, and releases the same adrenaline, and the same emotion. My brain thinks it’s protecting me, by making me “Fight or flight” in the same situation”

Almost as though your brain has trained itself to react in this way. Which is annoying, and can be undone (more on that later)

For me, this happened in nightclubs, pubs, around drunk people and around alcohol. The reason being that my first major panic attack, was at a house party, in the middle of nowhere, which got completely out of hand. I was with friends but everybody was so drunk that I may aswell have been on my own. I wasn’t drunk, but my then-boyfriend was, and he passed out and fell asleep, leaving me awake, and sober. All my friends were drunk also. Please bare in mind, I was 15, as were most of the people around me, and this was a serious case of irresponsible drinking and drug taking (not on my part i’d like to add). I didn’t know a lot of the people there and I remember this one boy who had diabetes (the more serious type) and everyone was making a massive who-ha about him being VERY drunk. I was trying to sleep in a bedroom with my boyfriend passed out next to me, and another friend had fallen asleep as well, so it was silent, and away from the chaos. The next thing I remember was that I could hear someone violently being sick and lots of people freaking out. The diabetic boy was paraletic, vomming everywhere and needed sugar. Everyone kept running into the room asking me for help, and I didnt have a clue. I remember I kept saying “Give him lemonade, no point giving him food he isn’t keeping anything down”. It was then that I had a massive panic attack. Was it because someone was being sick (I have a phobia of sick – even more so now than back then), was it the chaos and the fact that ambulances arrived or being surrounded by people who were so out of it in a serious situation and being the only one that could see straight. Whatever it was, I lay there from 11.30pm until 5am, having panic attack, after panic attack. Shaking violently. I felt trapped, as the toilet was opposite the bedroom door, and I knew I couldn’t go home because that meant walking past all the comotion and the sick. So I just lay there. trapped and panicking for 5 and a half hours. When it started getting light, and I felt phsyically exhausted (having a panic attack makes you feel like you’ve run a marathon) and I called my dad who kindly came and rescued me.

Now you know why I don’t really drink, and why I’d much rather stay in watching crappy TV than have a night out. Is this how I want to be? No. I’d love to get dressed up, get some heels on, go out and have a few drinks, maybe even get completely sozzled once in a while. This is what girls my age do right?

Even now, when I think back, all those nights I tried my hardest to walk into a club/pub feeling positive that nothing would go wrong, and end up having to run out. I really did try, I tried to put on a brave face and act like nothing would happen & I tried to tell myself it was all in my head
and nothing was dangerous and as long as you don’t think about it, you’ll be fine. But it’s not your choice. I don’t think my friends understood, and in all fairness, I guess I didn’t really explain as I wasn’t sure myself why this kept happening to me. They started off inviting me out lots, and gradually, I’d just end up saying no for the fear of having an attack, until they gave up inviting me all together. This upset me, as I felt as though they probably thought I didn’t want to be there, or maybe they didn’t want me there, who wants a panic attack sufferer as a massive burden on a fun night out? I was missing out, and I hated it because it wasn’t anything I could control.

For a while, I couldn’t even go to a quiet pub for a few drinks. What a boring sod I was. I’d also like to point out, this was around the time we all turned 18 and started “properly going out”. So many things contributed towards my attacks becoming worse. I didn’t want to end up being severly agoraphobic (in serious cases can mean you are affraid to leave the house) so I really did try to force myself, which in some very rare cases, didn’t ever result in me panicking, but then there were always the few incidents where I would feel so much worse, and felt as though I’d taken a back step. My ex boyfriend (different to the first I previously mentioned), used to invite me out with his friends to the pub etc, which I liked, and of course I wanted to socialise with new people and make the effort (being the good girlfriend I am) so I’d go. One of his best friends, who happened to be there a lot of the time, managed to pop himself in my filing cabinet of “things to panic from”. I hope he doesn’t ever read this and feel bad, haha. I once felt panicky, and my ex explained to him that I was panicking (instead of deciding I was more important than a pint and taking me home), and I just sat there, whilst he asked me pointless, patronising questions to try and distract me. (trust me, things like this do not work). I felt like an idiot, like it was some funny game, when really all I wanted to do was leave. That same friend was there on a quiet night out, which resulted in me getting up from the table and walking out without an explanation. The thing that topped it all off though, was the time he got so drunk, he vomited all over himself, then strolled back into the pub for another pint. Again, you will notice a pattern here? Sick. Drunk. Pub. After this, I couldn’t bare to go anywhere with him. He is such a lovely guy too, but I couldn’t control it, whenever he was there, my brain would let me know I was in danger and release the adrenaline.

Something people don’t seem to realise, is that self esteem is seriously dented from suffering these attacks. I still, to this day, think that people judge me, and that they possibly all talk about how weird I am, or how annoying I am for having panic attacks, or even that they may think you make it up, or are using as an excuse. You start to think that you are ruining everyone else’s life around you & have become a nuisance.

I’d turn things down ALL THE TIME, but it’s not because I didn’t want to go, I wanted to go more than anything, I just COULDN’T put myself in any situation where I felt I may have panicked. I’m going to list places I’ve had panic attacks before, as I want to express that they won’t just happen when you anticipate them, but they can literally just spring on you, anywhere…

In bed at night
In a supermarket
In a pub
In a club
In a taxi
On a bus
On a tube
On a train
At the train station
In a restaurant
At a friends house
At a family members house
Boyfriends house
In a car
On a boat
At school
At work

That’s all I can really think of for now, but there have been endless places where I’ve suffered a panic attack. Only when I was at my worst would I walk into a supermarket, or go to someone’s house and panic. More recently, I’ve been a lot better, and I’ve found that I only really panic if I am placed in a situation where I cannot get out easily if I was to ever panic. (Train, Tube, Boat, Work, Club, Bus) More recently, as you will know, I was invited to go on the London eye with GlossyBox, and I cannot tell you how much I stressed over that. It’s my worst nightmare, being inside a glass pod, that’s locked, with lots of people, knowing that once that door closed, I was stuck in there, and if i were to panic, there would be no way of me getting off, and everyone would look at me, and think, what an idiot. Only Louise, and my boyfriend knew how anxious I was about it, but I wanted so desperately to get on it, and to see people, and I did, and I was fine. I was really proud of myself, for not throwing in the towel and missing out on an opportunity, and for doing it anyway. So many people live in fear of ever having an attack, and I think this is what makes life more difficult. For a while, I kept having panic attacks on the tube, and on the train home from London. Being that my boyfriend lives there, this devastated me. WHY WAS MY BRAIN FILING THIS AS A DANGEROUS SITUATION. I would cry, and think “I can’t go. I can’t go and see my boyfriend. I’m scared to get on a train. Why can’t I just be normal“.

One thing a lot of people don’t understand, is that people who suffer panic attacks, DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY. We don’t want to get on a train and think “I really hope I get to the other end without panicking”, we don’t want to restrict the way we live because of something we can’t control that leaves us feeling mentally and physically drained for days/weeks/months on end. We want to be normal, and carry on with our everyday lives without any added anxiety. I’d love to be able to say “I don’t worry about anything, besides the normal things”. After a panic attack, I feel so upset, but it’s mostly anger. Angry at myself for not having any control and angry that I don’t know how to make it stop. Then I feel angry because I feel like nobody understands.

What helps me?

When I’m actually having a panic attack, I find the only things that really take the edge off, are going outside, walking away from the place I was and fanning myself (I know this sounds weird, and probably looks it, but when you have so much adrenaline and your muscles are pumped, you should do some form of exercise to use the adrenaline, which is why i frantically fan myself or walk or knock my knees together or flap my arms around – discreet? I think not) Fanning also helps with the horrible hot flushes you’ll experience, and cool you down.

Slow, deep breathing.

If i’m with someone, I need them to stay quiet unless I ask them something. I can’t handle anyone talking to me, or trying to distract me, or working me up. At the time of a panic attack, I don’t need someone highlighting the fact I’m panicking by making me say the alphabet backwards. It’s nice to know someone is with you, but If I’m having a panic attack, I’m already hearing everything 10x louder and need to try and calm down. You also don’t have a lot of energy to speak, as any energy you do have, is being used everywhere else.

In terms of long term treatment, stupidly, for 6 and half years, I put off going to a doctor, because I thought that I’d be able to control them myself. When I started having panic attacks visiting my boyfriend, I knew I had to do something about it, as it was hindering my way of life, and everyday things i really wanted to do, and I got fed up, and decided to make an appointment at my doctors surgery. Unfortunately, this completely destroyed any faith I had as it was the most pointless hour of my life. She sat and explained to me what a panic attack was. Funnily enough, after 6 and a half years of experiencing them, I already had a pretty clear idea. I have also been reading a few books. I’d really recommend the one I have photographed, and even for your partner, family member or friends to read. Have a look on line for self help books, some are a load of tosh, but some are quite eye opening. I don’t take any medication for my panic attacks, mainly because my doctor said “I don’t think we should put you on anything, how about you try some from a chemist or something”..er..great. I take Kalms, but whether they work or not, I don’t know. In all honesty, I’m not all too pleased with my Dr’s approach, or the NHS. They’ve not been helpful at all. This may not be the case for you, but I think in order to get further treatment I am going to have to go private for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – Re-training the brain) or try hypnotherapy techniques. If any of you have had any experiences you want to share, please do. Not just for me to read, but others reading the comments.

Avoiding Panic…

For many people, the only way they can avoid having a panic attack, is literally sitting at home and never leaving the house. I never want to get this bad, but I can see how it would happen very easily with a lot of people. My panic attacks are a lot worse when I am stressed, or run-down, so I find it’s really important to give myself a break. For many people that means taking time off work or going on holiday. I just make sure I get enough sleep, try to be as organised as possible and don’t rush anywhere. You may think the last one is a given, but for a while, being in “fast-pace” London made everything a lot worse. In the mornings before I’d leave to go home, Me and my boyfriend decided we would get ready slowly, walk slowly and even wait for the next tube if we weren’t there in time (I literally didn’t rush anywhere for about 4 weeks) & this made SUCH a difference.
I also tend to listen to relaxing music before I know I need to go somewhere where I may panic. A favourite of mine recently has been Dianna Vickers’ album (Her voice, I appreciate, could have an adverse affect on some people – but i find it keeps me calm because there are no fast beats or shouty bits) So find something you find relaxing.
I also think it’s important to write down how you are feeling if you feel like you are about to panic. Once when I was on the tube, I started having a panic attack, so I whacked out my phone and started frantically writing how I felt and every time something changed mentally or physically, I’d write it. This weirdly, calmed me down a lot quicker. I don’t know if this is because it distracted me, or because it made everything slightly more logical.
I still can’t really go out and drink with friends but I’ve not been as bad recently. I do find however, that driving (so i know I can leave when I want), or having someone who is prepared to pick me up, makes things a lot less tense. Knowing I can get home if I do panic, puts me at ease. If you were to tell me we were all getting a taxi at 3am an hour from home, I’d freak out.
I don’t like to have set times for things, as I feel a bit trapped. Sounds weird, but i’m sure plenty of you know exactly what I mean. I won’t even book an advanced train ticket any more (even though they are slightly cheaper), I get a ticket which gives me a bit of lee-way so I don’t have to rush anywhere or be stuck to one time.
I think everyone will have their own individual ways of avoiding and banishing panic attacks, it’s really whatever works best for you, but I think “Taking it easy” really is the best advice I can give. You don’t want to overwork your heart, as this may bring on panic.

How can I help someone who suffers Panic Attacks?

I’m going to do a little section here, on how to help someone who is having a panic attack, or someone who suffers them quite a lot. I looked online for something similar to this to show my boyfriend, and I didn’t have much luck. So I’m going to write this myself, in the hope some of you will show this to your partners/friends/family and then they can feel a little more at ease about how to help you. Although it sucks having a panic attack, I can’t imagine standing next to someone feeling helpless feels very nice either.

1. Remain calm. There is nothing worse than being with someone who is freaking out whilst they are, they will never calm down if you are flapping about like a headless chicken.
2. Do not be forceful. Be patient, and accepting. Do not settle for them panicking and being affected alone.
3. Let them do things at their own pace.
4. Don’t make assumptions about what the panicker needs, ask them.
5. Find something positive in every experience. If the affected person is only able to go partway to a particular goal, such as the cinema or out for a coffee, consider that an achievement rather than a failure.
6. Remember that they don’t choose to be this way. Do not show any dissapointment or annoyance when panic strikes or if they don’t feel they can’t do something.
7. In a panic attack, DON’T say:
“Relax. Calm down. Don’t be anxious. Let’s see if you can do this (i.e., setting up a test for the affected person). You can fight this. What should we do next? Don’t be ridiculous. You have to stay. Don’t be a coward. Pull yourself together, Stop being silly, what’s wrong with you”
.
Instead, DO SAY:
“You can do it no matter how you feel. I am proud of you. Tell me what you need now. Breathe slow and low. Stay in the present. It’s not the place that’s bothering you, it’s the thought. I know that what you are feeling is painful, but it’s not dangerous. You are courageous. Remember that panic attacks only last a maximum of 20 minutes”

8. Do not try to distract them with stupid questions. As I said before, we don’t want to say the alphabet backwards or talk about our day, it just highlights the fact that we are having a panic attack, thus creating more panic.
9. Be supportive & reassuring. After a panic attack, the person can feel down, depressed, angry, insecure and with very low self esteem. It’s your job to help them to feel better about themselves and to let them know you are there.

I really hope I have managed to cover everything, and I hope this has helped some of you. If you’re reading this, and you really feel down and depressed about your panic attacks and the way it has affected your life, please remember…

You are not alone, panic attacks are VERY common, and although terrifying, will not kill you. Don’t let your attacks ruin your confidence or dent your self esteem, you are an amazing person, and you CAN stop them, with the right treatment and techniques. Do not force yourself to go somewhere you don’t feel comfortable, you and your health are far more important than keeping someone else happy. If someone close to you fails to understand, it can leave you feeling terribly alone and insecure, FORCE them to read this blog post and tell them I’ll kick their bottom if they don’t LISTEN and show as much support as possible.

That’s all from me. Please share experience’s and leave comments below, it won’t just help me, but will also help others just like you reading this blogpost.

  1. Thank you soo much for this! Probably the only info about panic attacks I've read that fully makes sense! I had a panic attack whilst driving once and it was horrible! xx

  2. Anna

    This post has really opened my eyes to panic attacks and the effects they can have. I didn't know much about the subject before reading this, but after doing so it's substantially raised my awareness. What an enlightening post.

    xo

  3. FiaSo

    I suffer from very minor panic/anxiety attacks whenever I feel stressed or overthink anything. Is it weird I've never done anything about it or seen a doctor? I just let it pass…This post was very informative and comforting. Thanks Zoella! xx

  4. What a refreshing and honest post. I think it was very brave of you to share this with your readers and I definitely think that this will help anyone who suffers similar experiences X

  5. I have panic attacks especially when in a cramped place like a plane or exam hall! I actually went to cognitive behaviour therapy for abit and these tips do help! :) also slight pain eg nipping or squeezing yourself helps I think. And counting things near you xx

  6. Hi Zoe!
    I can totally relate to you here. I read this and just wanted to give you a big hug!
    I suffered from severe Anxiety problems with panic attacks for 3 years & it's horrible when no-one seems to understand. But I would definitely recommend CBT as this was what helped me to overcome mine. It's great in changing the way you think about the things you panic about. I've been free from panic attacks for a year now from doing this, so I hope it'll work out for you too! Wishing you all the best :-)

    Hannah x

  7. Rebecca

    Love this post =] I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and for a whole year basically lived as a hermit. I'm now on a low dose of zoloft and finally feel alive again =] I havent had an attack in 6 months and I can actually go out again!

  8. This post really struck a chord with me, as I suffered with panic attacks for about a year after the death of my Grandad. A trip to the doctors confirmed that mine were caused by the sudden change of my lovely Grandad no longer being in my life. Evidently, drastic change makes me very nervous, and I spent endless days living on edge, not knowing when the next panic attack might come. Added to this, I'm a bit of a man when it comes to being emotional, so the fact that I refused to face what had happened for many months really didn't do me any favours, and stressed me out left, right and centre.

    Touch wood, I haven't had a panic attack in over a year now. I changed everything about my life, including my job, and the fact that I'd been in control of change turned it back into a positive thing. Isn't it odd how the human brain works?!

    Good on you for being so brave in writing this, I completely understand how hard it is to talk about it on a deep level. I'm sure this article will help many people! :) Another tip my doctor recommended was to 'walk it out'. Fast pace walking helps to regulate your oxygen intake, and exercise in general keeps stress/anxiety levels down.

    Note to self: Stop being a lazy cow.

    xXx

  9. Really, thanks for posting this. It's uncanny how much I can relate to everything you posted. Obviously my experiences are trigged by something completely different, but the principle is the same, it takes a lot for me to accept going out and I'd rather not deal through the stress of panic attacks. I'm honestly super glad I'm not alone, again, thanks for posting this!

  10. I've suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for god knows how long, all of which stems from this obsessional need I have for certainty about everything. Its horrible going through your teen years suffering from it, I've missed out on holidays, music festivals and all sorts of school trips because I just know I'd panic-or at least I think I will.

    The horrible thing I find is that people don't understand it so they either think you're making it up or that you're mental. Sometimes I've got very close to convincing myself of those things as well.

    I've finally been offered CBT after being on a year long waiting list and being on anti depressants but I had my first session the other day and came out in floods of tears because it just highlighted how much I'd have to change and get over to be 'normal'

    At one point it got to the stage where I asked my doctor if you could still get electric shock therapy for things, I just want it to go away.

    For me, I can only hope that one day I'll get to the point where I do anything without first categorising all available exits and coming up with excuses if a panic attack does happen.

    Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, I read all of it and just nodded along I completely relate. So thanks for making it obvious that any of us that have panic attacks aren't alone, even if real life friends and family don't understand!

    (Will stop rambling now lol)

    xxx

  11. It sounds to me that you might have a bit of emetophobia! I have it and the things you mentioned about vomiting and the fear of others being sick sounds very similar to the things I feel. I also frequently panic when I have to travel alone or when I'm in a crowded place. I don't even go to pubs because I'm so scared of drunk people who might vomit.

  12. Krissy

    OMG, I feel like I am reading my life story. I have the exact same thing as you – I want to go out so badly to clubs and stuff – its what people my age do! But thanks to one out-of-the-blue incident, I associate drinking and partying with panic. my boyfriend doesnt understand at all and thats the worst part.
    God theres so much more I could write, I'm just comforted to know that there is someone else out there just like me.

  13. Hi Zoe, I never comment much but I do read you regularly and watch your vids :) I wanted to thank you for sharing this. I suffer from those attacks as well but rarely talk about it because people will say that "it's all in your head and you need to calm down" – duh, I wish I could.
    It's much better now, as I focus on the deep breathing as soon as I feel the slightest sign. Also I'm in a much better place in life than when they started – when my mom was terminally ill, at some point I had about 5 attacks a day at work and had to eventually stop working and be put on medication. I know now that anxiety is part of life for everyone, we just feel it differently, and the fact that this happens to me doesn't mean that I'm in danger or deadly sick or whatever… I try to not let it stop me from living my life.
    I think you explained it all very well and gave great advice, I hope it benefits other sufferers amongst your readers!
    xx Mariella

  14. smkonx

    wow, i'm really glad you did this, I've been suffering from them for 4 years and my friends are really unsupportive. Small spaces set off mine, so in exams I luckily get to sit in a different room with the people who have learning disabilities etc but my friends would all laugh which kind of made it worse and I had no-one to relate to and felt like a freak. I'm really glad you wrote this and I don't feel as alone as I did before and I actually sat agreeing with this as I read it, and I think the worse part is the whole judgement from everyone I fear combining with the overall lack of control you have when an attack occurs.
    But, yeah thank you for writing this, I hope it helps others as much as it's helped and reassured me :D xxx

    http://www.smkonx.blogpsot.com

  15. this was truly a lovely post! thank you so much for sharing your own experience + such good information! i've recently heard that keeping a hand lotion or sanitizer with a scent with you can also help to calm people down in certain situations. thanks again for sharing ♥

  16. Yinka

    I fully empathise with your situation Zoe and found this post both informative and reassuring.

    I'm in NY at the moment and suffered from my first panic attack on the flight over. I never thought I'd be one to suffer from them and it took me completely by surprise.

    I was asleep on the plane and wake up with a start and basically started hyperventilating in my seat! I felt so restricted, it was pretty dark on board and I just needed space – which there isn't a lot of in economy!!!

    I was disoriented, started sweating profusely, my heart was racing and I could barely breath. It was bloody terrifying. I was trying to push the button on my seat to alert the air stewards, but couldn't even remember where it was.

    Ironically as I was sat there thinking I was gonna run out of oxygen altogether – I thought of you, as I was freaking the hell out!! I've seen so many of your tweets where your refer to your panic attacks and I put two and two together and figured this must be what I was experiencing.

    I forced myself to regulate my breathing, slowing my heartbeat down and my body temperature returned to normal after a few minutes. I was too scared to fall asleep again for the rest of the flight and I never want to experience what I felt on that plane again, and I hope I don't on the way back.

    I think you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for and I'm really glad that you're taking steps not to allow your attacks to dictate the way you live your life xxx

  17. Hiya
    Thank-you so much for this post, it's been incredibly helpful and thanks for opening up. I have never really had constant panic attacks but I used to struggle with depersonalisation – an out of body experience that left me not feeling like myself, feeling alienated and it was truly horrific. I found myself cancelling events, birthday parties and not going to sixth form.
    I got hypnotherapy for it and it worked absolute wonders. The differences that came after it were brilliant. I still suffer from it (although very rarely) from time to time but I can control it more now.
    Thanks again
    Raechelle xx

  18. Amy

    I also have a severe phobia of sick and it brought on panic attacks/anxiety/depression/OCD etc. Like you I could barely leave the house and in one period of time I actually didn't for about 2 months. I totally understand everything you have said. It's weird because even though you can feel so alone, posts like this make you realise that so many other people are the same.

    I had about 12 sessions of CBT (on the NHS) and at the time I didn't think it worked at all. However I am so much better now than what I was before so it must have helped. I find that listening to ludovico einaudi- i giorni (a classical piano player) really helps calm me down.

    You are doing SO well getting on all these trains/events etc. Even though they may be really stressful at the time, they will be helping you deal with the attacks so much as you are more exposed to the stress. You will eventually realise that those situations aren't a threat at all. Whenever I'm on a train or anywhere, I will always try and make sure that I'm sat within reach of an exit/toilet, just in case I need to have some time to myself and freak out. So you should be really proud of yourself for that!

    On a happier note, the 'going outside and flapping about bit' made me smile (not in a sadistic way) because when I get anxious, I start kicking my legs everywhere and everyone always thinks I'm a complete weirdo ;)

    I really hope CBT helps you! If you ever want any advice about it, my email is info@flawsandall.net or my twitter is @flawsandallblog . Such a brilliant post Zoe. Lots of love xxx

  19. My best friend suffers with anxiety and has had a few panic attacks in her time.
    This has been so helpful for me to understand what she goes through and what to do.
    Even though i dont know you, i am proud that you have been brave enough to write all that down and help others!
    Thank you Zoe xx

  20. star79

    Well done Hun! How brave are you writing all this and I know it will be a massive help to someone I know. Thank you and good luck with your hard work to cope with the panic attacks. Hugs xx

  21. I have suffered from generalized anxiety since I was a child, and even went to various doctors and psychologists throughout my early teens. My anxirty got a bit better, but has come back with a vengeance. I am currently taking Zoloft to help control it, but I still feel a lot of anxiety on a daily basis and still see a therapist. Thank you for sharing this! It's great to know we are not alone.

  22. I suffered panic attacks now for around a year. They all started after I had to have chemotherapy. I got home one night and just kept having panic attacks, I didn't know what was happening, I couldn't sleep without having panic attacks, so In the end we wen't to a+e & I was strapped to a heart machine etc absolutley dripping with sweat etc. Everytime after this everytime I went for chemo th same thing would happen, even when I went out etc so I decided just to stay in so It wouldn't happen. In the end I got so depressed I got put on tablets & to the point I couldn't bare to be here anymore :(, eventually I was locked up in mental health (I'm not mental theres just not much on the nhs for this type of thing apparently) I've been to councilling & private cbt and group cbt but nothing seems to help, they just tell me to take diazepam when things get bad but then in another breathe they don't like you to take them because there addictive!

    I agree tho the NHS are hopeless, if your on drugs etc then they'll happily guide you!

    This is probably the best thing I've read on panic attacks,,, it's very well written zoe & hits all the key points on panic attacks & also is very indepth.

    Wish you all the luck in the future & hope that you find something that helps you

    Stacey x

  23. Nicole

    Zoe this post has made my day, in the sense that i know exactly the kind of things you go through. i have suffered with anxiety for over a year now and it has affected my life so much.Im not able to go out by myself very often and i also have the same problem that you did because i cant get the train down to carlisle to visit my boyfriend as the thought of it is terrifying. I dont suffer from panic attacks very often but my anxiety is always there at the back of my head and its impossible to switch off. I had cognitive behavioural therapy 5 months ago and it made my life so much better. Although my anxiety stops me from living my life like i should do at 19, its not half as bad as it was before i had the therapy it really is worth it. My anxiety makes me scared of being alone so i literally dont go anywhere without someone with me and it makes my life difficult but i hope we both overcome our anxiety x lots of love xx

  24. Thankyou so much! my bestfriend suffers from panick attacks alot, and as i am with her throughout the day i never really know what to do. mostly i just get panicked aswell when she is having an attack, which is probably the worst thing to do. Thankyou so much! you don't understand how grateful i feel that i can finally help her :) your awesome and i love you! xx

  25. essie

    this post was really eye opening, i dont suffer from panic attacks, but i know someone who does and i really had no idea what they were actually like. thanks for this, i've got a much better in-sight now :) Good on you for trying to help those who are sufferers and i hope you will one day be free of them :) xxx

  26. Finally, someone who I can relate to. Thanks for this information!

  27. I learned so much after reading this post, and I feel so inspired by you. You are really brave for sharing this with all of us, as we all have things that can plague us in life. I hope that after reading this people can be understanding of not just people who undergo panic attacks, but anyone who might seem a bit different — maybe, just maybe it's not their fault. We all love you Zoe and wish you the best!!

  28. I just want to say thank you so much for writing this, my ex boyfriend had agoraphobia and it sounds similar to your experiences, not being able to leave the house sometimes and getting panicky in crowded bars and stuff. He was really private about it and never thoroughly explained it so I never really understood it, only that he didn't like staying out for very long and needed to get out of situations he found difficult sometimes. I wish I could have read something like this earlier so I knew how to deal with it better. Best of luck with your CBT, you're extremely brave for writing this x

  29. nana

    Thank you for posting this!
    i have been suffering with this for the last 3 and a halfish years. And have tried so many things to make them go away (for a lack of a better way of saying it). I dont understand how they are meant to last 5 to 20 minutes, because like you said, for you and me they spiral. until i can be alone, it just gets worse and worse and worse. I often have to get off the tube, leave the lecture hall, a store or a restaurant to find a bathroom where i can stand in the cubicle alone and try and relax. its horrid.
    thank you for the tips, the explaining (which i will use the next time someone asks about them, who has no idea what its like) and posting this, to show we arent all alone.
    x

  30. MissAva

    Zoe I am so happy you posted this.

    I am a chronic sufferer of panic attacks and it sucks. I have the same feeling every time I go out…to a club (especially) to the pub, friend's birthdays, interviews, traveling on my own, whenever I am asked to do something on my own, seeing drunks etc. I DREAD going out to events or special occasions. My heart races out of control before I walk into a room full of people.

    The best thing to do, is to find out what triggers it (like you did at a house party)
    Up till recently I didn't know what made me panic. People told me I was just shy and was not socially active enough to get used to going out. But the reason I didn't go out is from these attacks.

    Recently I was out with a friend in covent garden when this woman had fallen over and was basically…bleeding uncontrollably. I have always been squeamish, but this time I started to panic and almost passed out. What made me panic more was the fact that I was in public, about to faint in front of everyone and make a scene.
    This day at covent garden made me realise the reason why I panic. I imagine every worst scenario possible in the situation, which in turn makes me panic. Even if it's not happening to me.

    You NEED to make your friends aware or you will feel alone. I constantly remind my friends of this problem so I don't feel so alone.

    Thank you for shedding some light on something I suffer with so much! <3

  31. I found this really interesting to read, so thankyou!
    I wouldnt say I am a panick attack sufferer. But I do sometimes struggle with mini attacks. I am one of these people that is VERY comfortable with just sticking to what I am used to, I hate being pushed outside of my comfort zone. For example, when I was leaving school after Year11 and looking for a place for 6th form, I wanted to view a few different places, and not just be predictable and stay at the same school for 6th form. So, I went along with my mum and my sister to the local grammar school, we arrived earlier than we were meant to and the head of the 6th form began to talk to me. Now, normally I am a confident person when it comes to people. But, I answered his questions so STUPIDLY its untrue, I could feel myself inside slipping away. I could almost physically hear alarm bells in my head telling me to get the hell away. We stayed, and whilst walking around the school in the corridor I just stopped, and almost burst into tears. My mum was quite alarmed and took me outside and asked what was going on. I just told her I wanted to leave, and we did. My mum wasnt presuring me to go, as it was my idea to take a look around. I almost ran away from the place, i was so nervous. In the car i felt a desperate need to explain myself to my mother. She had taken the effort to bring me because I had asked her, and after only half an hour I had melted down. I just didnt know where to start. I had no idea what brought it on. Looking back now, I realise I was just totally out of my comfort zone. It was an all girls school, and I suppose I was scared of the bitchyness that can sometimes be there. I was unfamiliar. I was starting fresh, blahblah. I stayed at the same school I have been at for 5 years, and I couldnt be happier. Its just weird how these things happen.
    It happened again at a under 18's party I went to, I wont go into it as you will probably be so bored reading this comment!!

    I have also always had VERY bad problems with sleep, I have since a young age struggled to sleep, and stay asleep, and I think this can affect it sometimes as my tiredness can trigger things. I also have OCD, and that is certainly effected by my tiredness or stress levels. Anyway, enough of me filling up your comments!

    Thankyou for being brave enough to write this!

  32. Katie

    Thankyou so much Zoe. You're such a brave and courageous person for writing this. This is so honest of you and something I couldn't imagine many other people having the courage to write. Even though I don't nor do I know anyone who suffers from panic attacks, this has opened my eyes so much and educated me on them. I, along with most people reading this, now feel we know you and understand you and people alike much more after reading this. It sounds truly terrifying. I would never have thought they were this common. The feeling must be awful, not being able to control your own body is something I dread but I cannot imagine it at this level. Your very lucky now to have such wonderful understanding family, boyfriend and friends around you to help you through them. X

  33. Lauren

    Like the above comment, I suffer from depersonalisation, and then that triggers anxiety/panic attacks. This post is amazing Zoe. I've been walking through supermarkets and felt a bit woo'ey and like I wasn't there, and then I'd start panicking and I've had to leave trolleys full of stuff and walk outside, sit down and shut my eyes with my head between my legs – it's an awful feeling. The first panic attack I ever had was when I hadn't eaten all day and had two cans of fat pepsi..I got home and was talking to my boyfriend and then kept 'zoning out' and actual thought I was dying. I then started crying hysterically and kept saying "I'm dying, I'm going to die, call an ambulance" and thankfully he was so good to me but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

    I hate adrenaline anyway, you wouldn't catch me on a fast ride, fast car, anything. I hate it.

    Thanks so much for posting this Zoe, thankfully I don't get them as much anymore but a tip – if you feel one coming on, breathe as if your breathing through a straw and just focus on this invisible straw – it really works.

    x

  34. Thank you for taking the time to explain your experiences and sharing such a personal subject – Some people don't understand just how crippling anxiety and panic attacks can be and how it can take over your life. I suffer from extreme anxiety and panic disorder to a point that i was unable to live a normal life anymore. For me personally, I'm only now able to cope with medication. It's sad that there is still such a stigma regarding anxiety and hopefully through posts like yours, we'll be able to educate peoples views x

  35. Amy

    It was very brave and good of you to write this post! I can sympathise completely with your plight, I used to suffer attacks in bed for seemingly little reason. Assemblies and lessons also used to affect me sometimes. In the end I had hypnotherapy which really helped as I didn't want to have a panic attack during my GCSEs (3 years ago). Best of luck in the future and know that, however few people you may know who can understand, there are always people hear who will listen and empathise.

    Amy x
    http://the-cameras-lying.blogspot.com/

  36. I know exactly how you feel! I've suffered with the same problem for about 11 years and have tried everything except CBT which I'm going to try next and of which I'm actually going to university to train in! My anxiety isn't that bad anymore, but you are right, it does just creep up on you, and when it does happen now it is in the most random places! I think your advice is very on point, you have explained it very clearly and I probably would have said exactly the same thing! I hope this post helps an early sufferer of anxiety because if I had read this when I first started suffering it would have helped me not feel so lonely and scared! Fortunately I haven't let it hold me back from doing what I want to do and I have come a long way so hopefully this gives some hope to other sufferers!
    Well done Zoe, your in a position to reach alot of people and you have approached this subject well :)
    Take care and hang in there
    Xx

  37. AllieUK

    Very interesting post. I am suffer the complete opposite. I can't get panicked about anything. Opened up my eyes :)

    – Allie x

    Allie UK Blog

  38. im really happy that you've written this, i think its really important for people to know what we all go though and i know that my friends will benefit from this :)
    thank you very much zoe xxx

  39. Kate

    Thank you so much for this! I personally don't suffer from panic attacks but with the job I do, I have a few clients that suffer with them and I've never really understood them till now. It's given me a great insight into what they experience. Thank you! x

  40. I'm so glad you have taken the time to write something like this as there really isn't enough informative information that is written from the heart out there for sufferers and also how others can help when someone is having a panic attack.

    My friend used to have very severe panic attacks in pubs/clubs/around drunk people and the first few times it happened I really wasn't sure how to cope. She went and had private CBT and is a completely different person and it has now been so long since she had one she can't even remember her last. They aren't cheap but they have changed her life, I really would recommend looking into them. :)

    It takes a lot to write something like this and I really admire you for doing so.

    Amy xx

  41. Hannah

    Thank you so much for posting this, it's so reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who suffers with anxiety!

    I have OCD and anxiety and I find that in some really difficult situations I end up getting so worked up and anxious that I have a panic attack. Reading your post there are so many things I identify with – I've had OCD all my life and lately it's got a lot worse, almost resulting in me not leaving the house. It just seems so much easier to stay at home and avoid any situation that might bring on the anxiety, but in truth stopping at home will only make it worse (that doesn't stop me wanting to avoid all situations though).

    When I'm out, it's the classic thing, you're almost looking for something to set you off. When it does – BOOM – you either have to get out of there or face the horrible anxiety. I know with the whole 'fight or flight' thing you're meant to stay and let the anxiety come and go, but for me it's just too difficult!

    I've tried CBT and didn't find it worked for me. I'm not sure if it's because I wasn't mentally prepared for it – the whole idea of doing what I absolutely feared scared me so much I think I pretty much resisted the treatment. I've been on medication for it before a few years ago, and it worked SO well. I literally felt like I was free from OCD. When I came off them it gradually came back so I'm going back on them in the hope it fixes the problem again. I'm a little shocked your dr didn't think of prescribing something for you, medication was a life-saver for me!

    I really hope things get better for you lovely, and you should be so proud of yourself for going to events and things that you know you'll be anxious about. Fantastic post xx

  42. Stella

    So glad you took the time to write all of that since it's rather personal. I don't suffer from panic attacks but I do get anxiety and it's gotten so much worse ever since I started college, so bad that I ended up missing classes cos I dread it and struggle with it SO much. I must say, I do understand how you feel about the whole 'getting invited to places by friends, not going, losing friends' because I get that too. It's actually so shit how they won't understand how you feel.
    But seriously, this post is amazing! x

  43. This is the by far the best blog post I've read in a while! I've been through exactly the same feelings, thoughts and low self esteem due to my anxiety and panic attacks. It's so refreshing for you to share your experiences rather than hiding them away like I felt I had to do for about 2 years! Mine started when I began university and I put it down to the massive change. A lot of people don't understand issues like these and are too scared to talk about it, which makes sufferers feel even more isolated. Panic is actually normal, as you pointed out, and doesn't mean you're 'crazy' or 'mental', but when it gets to uncontrollable levels it is exhausting. It's so great that you have spoken out, hopefully it will encourage other people to do the same! My tips are to tell people about it so that when you are in situations you feel more comfortable knowing you've got support. Sometimes you do have to escape from situations because they are so unbearable, but I've found that feeling the fear and doing it anyway can really help, as often it will prove to you that the situation/activity isn't going to harm you. Even when you feel nervous or have an attack, you will always calm down eventually. Remember, you are so strong for carrying on your life and not letting panic attacks rule you xx

  44. Ellie

    I'm SO glad you did this post, I suffer from anxiety but I've never really called it a panic attack, but after reading this I realise that this is what I have been having basically my whole life I thought I was just weird and needed help, but I'm so surprised that so many other people have the same experience. Most of mine are triggered from loud noises and big crowds, but the fact my dad and my brother both play guitar really doesn't help and I feel so awful for it but every time they play at home I can't be there or they just are too scared to because they're so worried how I would react. I would also recommend rescue remedy, it really does help to calm me down. Thank you for this post again :) It's really really helped xx

  45. joanna

    Ive had CBT treatment for depression and anxiety and I found it really helped me. I have never had what I think would constitute a full panic attack but part of my depression (I had a complete emotional breakdown in my second year of uni) entailed many of the panic symptoms, literally happening all the time, including rushes of adrenaline and extreme emotion. I also hated the situation and would have done anything to get out of it. CBT gave me a way to rationalise and focus on a way out. Whilst it took time and was a gradual process I definitely attribute it to me getting better. I was on antidepressants also for 3 years but this is not relevant for you. They helped significantly also, especially with the physical effects (inability to sleep and racing thoughts). Anyway, I would recommend the CBT and thank you for sharing your story :) If anyone reads this who thinks they may have depression, I would ask for help. Whoever or whatever, keep asking until you get it and you find your answer, because its out there :) xxx

  46. I'm so glad that i'm not the only one who feels like this! It's so good to read we pretty much have the same "panic's" like pubs and clubs ect. I took kinda the same approach as you and went to my doctor after having panic attacks getting to Uni by train and sitting in lectures became to much and I had to drop out. My doctor sent me to see a CBT therapist, we had to pay privately and it was £200 wasted! All she kept doing was explaining about panic attacks and like you I had read book after book! I then stopped seeing her and went to see another man that was paid for by our family private health care, again he wasn't much help and didn't give me and constructive ways of dealing with all the different feelings i was experiencing! I finally went to see someone else and by now I wasn't leaving the house to even go shopping! Thankfully he was a blessing in disguise and gave me many relaxation techniques and helped me work out what one was best for me but also explained about the different feelings I was having and how to reduce them ect. I saw him for about 10 hourly sessions and it was a MASSIVE help!

    I wouldn't say I am cured but I am definatly moving on with my life, going shopping, driving, going to work just simple everyday activities that I took been so simple for granted! I also found writing a BIG help as actually reading back how I was feeling and why I was feeling it made it stick in my head and made it a lot more logical if that makes sense!

    THANK YOU so much for writing this post and sharing your experiences! I'm going to link it up for my boyfriend to read! Although I've written a blog post and have got him to read mine it often helps to read someone's else perspective as well!

    <3

  47. I know a lot of people have said this, but I can really relate and sympathise with you here. I won't go into it, but it sounds like we're in a very similar place. Good on you for posting this, I agree with everything you've said.
    Sending love x

  48. Thank you for writing this. I really believe it's such a shame that so many know so little about anxiety and panic disorder.

    I remember my first panic attack clearly. At the time, I didn't even know what a panic attack was and so genuinely thought I was dying :( I was alone and even called 999 (although they figured out what was happening and helped enormously).

    I've only been 'blogging' for a couple of months, but I have been talking about my personal experiences, if you care to look?

    Thanks again for this post. Let's spread awareness :) xxx

    little-did-you-know.blogspot.com

  49. This post was amazingly informative and insightful. It was really brave of you, and I really enjoyed reading it. I'm currently studying CBT and want to become a cognitive behavioral therapist…I really think it would be worthwhile into giving it a go :) x x x

  50. Reading this honestly felt like reading about myself, I've had episodes befor of hyperventilation, feeling incredibly sick and just wanting to go >home<. Mine too stem from alcohol and feeling like everyone else is drunk, I am not and something >bad< will happen. As a result at the age of almost 20 I've been out a grand total of about 3 times since my 18th birthday. I can't even go to a pub with my boyfrind in case he gets drunk and I freak out.

    I can't go to London/other cities on the train without freaking out (I don't even know why – I'm not scared of crashing/terrorism anything) but I just can't do it. I went to liverpool with my boyfriend a few months back and cried/hpyerventilated on the train because it sat on the platform for 20 minutes without moving. I thought I was going to be stuck there forever and it was dark.

    I also hate going on holiday or being out of my routine – I'm basically one of those people who come across as being incredibly boring as all I do is go to work, come home, blog, see my boyfriend at my house or a meal/the cinema/the park and go shopping with my friends.

    I can't do cocktails/clubs/nights out and as a result I've lost all but two of my best friends because people just fundamentally do not understand that I'm not >choosing< to not do stuff I just >can't< right now.

    I'm slowly improving and reading this post at least makes me feel like I'm not alone.

    I think you summed everything up in such a great way and verbalised it (typalised it?) brilliantly.

    Thanks so much for sharing Zoe, I hope your issues continue to improve also!

    Sarah
    http://fashionismyh2o.blogspot.com/
    xx

  51. BunBun

    The second I saw the book you photographed I knew I had to read this post. I was given that to read by a doctor after I was diagnosed with schizotypal, a disorder that involves panic attacks, distorted thinking patterns and all manner of things that aren't bad enough to get you called crazy but bad enough to have people around you treat you like an idiot.

    I've suffered with panic attacks and due to my issues they're often over the most minor issues which in my head become distorted and out of proportion. (there being no butter left = me weeping on the floor for half an hour because I rather fancied toast.)

    So many people think you're being melodramatic and don't understand how somewhere in the back of your brain an alarm will go off over something tiny and suddenly you're shaking, cold and feeling like you're going to be ill. Especially if you're in the middle of Primark on a Saturday morning……

    Luckily I have an amazing family and boyfriend who are more than understanding but I still find it very hard to make connections with people as friends and the constant nagging that I could snap at the smallest thing makes me scared to go out sometimes. It's a long struggle but I know I'll get better if I keep going.

    Anyway after that long ramble my point is THANKYOU for posting this and helping to give people an insight into what panic attacks entail and how to help someone when it occurs. (believe it or not I've had a large glass of water poured over my head by someone – wasn't exactly productive)

    Anyhoo, thanks Zoe :) It takes a lot of courage to approach this subject and I really appreciate it.

    Maisy xxxx

  52. Amazing post Zoe, thank you for sharing, it is really brave of you.

  53. Great post. I've had a couple of panic attacks in my time and they really are awful. Mine come very sporadically and are usually set off my extremely high stress situations, otherwise I somehow manage to keep my cool. Thanks for sharing this :)

  54. Jade

    Thank you so much for writing this post. I've suffered with panic attacks/anxiety issues for five and a half years after my dad's girlfriend attacked me. I'm now like you in that I find it hard socializing in pubs, clubs etc. I don't 'like' being around people drinking alcohol. It's so hard to get people to understand that it's not that I don't want to go to these places, I actually feel like I cannot go! I'm going to email some of them your post to see if it helps them understand.

    I've just been referred by the GP for CBT. I used to take Beta Blockers in the beginning because I was sick every day and lost a stone in weight (went down to 7st) because I was too scared to eat in case I was sick. I think having a phobia of being sick makes it hard to understand where the panic comes from – is it from the fear of being sick, or is being sick coming from the fear?

    Anyway, I've babbled on quite a bit. Again, I just want to thank you for sharing this post with us all. Well done and good luck!! Jade xx

  55. Laura

    Thank you for this post Zoe. I have never personally suffered from panic attacks but do get anxious in certain situations so some of your tips will be really helpful for me. I know that panic attacks can strike anyone at any time so we all need to learn and understand more about them.
    I did Psychology at uni so we did a bit about CBT – it's usually used alongside drug treatment (the drugs are a short-term fix to get you to focus on the CBT which is the long term fix). I think if you go in there feeling positive that you can do it, it will really help you out.
    Fingers crossed the CBT helps you out xxx

  56. Great post, my friend suffers from panic attacks so badly. It's lovely of you to share :)

  57. Amy

    I honestly feel like giving you a huge cuddle! I completely love this thank you so much for taking the time to post this. This certain-ally a personal/private part of me, My first one was when i was 14 during a pe lesson, i am now 20. I had no idea what was happening to me, i just remember wanting my mum and telling her i was about to die. Those symptoms you've listed i pretty much get every time i get a panic attack. Mine tend to happen more when i'm stressed or run down just like you! My previous one was back in august at work, it was quiet simple everyday situation (i was wiping a table) And then boom one came on. I wen't a whole year and half without one, i was convinced i had gotten over them that when it happened i generally believed it was something other than a panic attack because of how severe it was. And the one before that was also in august so i still don't know weather that's how they work, or when i'm going to get them.. But this what i do know.

    When i'm having a panic attack, sometimes it will only be an hour a couple of minutes and they've been seconds. Which is very rare well for me anyway. What helps me is being with someone who actually know's how i'm feeling. Understands the symptoms i'm having at that moment – I't sounds strange but that reassures me that whatever i'm feeling no matter how bad my panic attack is, is that they know how i'm feeling. I've a family history of panic attacks, so it's pretty easy to get someone to sit with me. But the only person that can actually help me through them is my dad. Because he gets them quite severally (Pretty much everyday) Which is awful!

    I'll go for walks, my boyfriend is amazing. And understands a lot even though he's never experienced one. The last one i had left me exhausted for a ages, and i physically felt like i couldn't go on anymore, that they wasn't ever going to go away, they'd always happen etc. So unfortunately i went down with depression. I can tell you they get easier. Coming from a fellow anxiety disorder/panic attack sufferer that you do learn to control them. And i know better than anyone or when i'm constantly being told 'you'll be okay just calm down' It's bloody easier said than done! If you ever feel like talking don't hesitate to email me. Any of you, I think we could all help each other :)

    Once again, Zoe thank you so much posting this.

    I wish you all the best, Amy x

  58. Thanks for writing this Zoe, recently I started to suffer from panic attacks and I felt like I was the only one and just being silly, but after reading some books, and your post, I know realise that i'm not being silly, it's an actual reaction to something.

    Like you, I'm scared of anyone being sick, and drunk people make me very uneasy. I don't know if the two are related, but both scare me to death. I don't drink, or like it when people around me are drunk. I was once on a train and 2 girls got on and were talking about how drunk they were, I had to get off the train and wait 30 mins for the next one. I just sat there in panic but I had to get off the train.
    I'm really lucky to have a boyfriend and a manager at work that understand and are so supportive that when I do feel anxious, they know how to look after me and that makes me worry less overall.

    By missing out on things like getting drunk and going out, you're creating new opportunities for yourself so don't feel that you're being left out, other people are missing out on your experiences. I try to look at it that way. Why would I want to spend my Friday or Saturday night drunk and being ill, then Sunday feeling worse and dreading monday morning. I much rather enjoy waking up on a sunday and making bacon sarnies and having a snuggle on the sofa with my boyfriend watching tv.

    Thanks again for this post, It must have been hard for you to write but you've been so brave and i'm sure all the people reading this will respect you for being open and honest and I can see from the comments that you, and I are not alone in feeling this way and reading others comments can help us to understand why and how to get better :)

    laura
    xx

  59. katie.

    Gosh that was actually a really interesting read. I don't suffer from panic attacks but I'm glad I can now understand what people may feel when experiencing one.
    I don't want to say "I feel so sorry for you," and sound patronising but I admire that you can share your experiences with your readers for others to benefit from, that's really selfless of you. This post has also answered a lot of questions regarding me own anxiety disorder, because I don't think I've had a panic attack before but I do suffer from an anxiety disorder that causes me to throw up and faint but it lasts waaaay more than 20 mins so it's different to yours. I agree that the nus are hopeless! They coundnt even diagnose me after I was hospitalised for 4 days!
    Anyway, you seem like the sort of person who is mature enough to handle your situation with grace (maybe not the fanning but the fact you can talk about it so openly!) so I wish you all the best!

  60. This post was so helpful. I always thought I was just being silly. I am constantly worrying about things and stop myself from doing things because I panic about it. I know I'm holding myself back from doing things that would be great and it just annoys me but I can't change. People just tell me to do it and don't be silly but I can't snap out of it. I'm gonna to use some of your tips and hopefully it will help. Thank you x x

  61. Katrina

    I had severe anxiety for two years from 14-16 and my school were AWFUL at dealing with it! The only thing that helped me with it was the linden method (google!) and obviously I still get a little symptoms of it coming back now and then but no actual panic attacks! :) excersise also really helped me get rid of the extra adrenaline and taking up a hobby (so I didnt focus on the anxiety) unfortunately mine was so bad I couldnt leave the house at my worst point but I started off walking down the road a little further everyday and got better & better :) I'm now reaching the age where everyone 'goes out' and instead of being scared I'm excited to face the 'challenge'. Lovely post Zoe I could relate to it 100% I wish you a full recovery (Which is possible!) xxx

  62. Hi Zoe! What a great post, I'm sure there are many people out there who have these panic attacks and haven't a clue what's going on so hopefully this will help! I work in mental health services and I would urge you to return to your doctor and ask to be referred for CBT or further support. Their dismissive approach is shocking and not helpful at all, but they will have services in your area and your GP should be utilising them. Take care xx

  63. Emily

    I've been having some panic attacks for the past year and a half, they started when I was hit by a bicycle and since then I've been terrified of bikes, which led to a fear of transportation and for some time I couldn't even stay on a bus for more than one stop without feeling nauseous. I'm now okay on buses and in cars, I generally avoid trains and I'm scared to even try flying (I used to love flying, going on 14 hour ones once every couple years, and now I'm terrified of having a panic attack). I tried everything from useless motion sickness drugs to a chiropractor!

    Like you I have a fear of sick which is difficult at parties, and I've been known to avoid parties from sleepovers to meals out. I also have the occasional panic attack when I think about death – these are the WORST, I genuinely feel like my body is shutting down and become hysteric.

    Now the main thing is sitting down in a crowded room for a talk/lecture/assembly – my sixth form's kind and lets me skip all these, but I'm starting uni next year so lectures are gonna be a problem. I also can't go to cinemas, seated concerts or plays which really sucks now cause I love christmas films! Thankfully my boyfriend's really understanding and hasn't asked to watch a film once since we started going out. (: But if I sit in a talk for more than five or ten minutes I break out in a cold sweat, get nauseous, and find it difficult to breathe. I'm definitely trying the self help book above, thank you!

  64. I cannot express to you how GLAD I am that you posted this. Im 15 and never realised that i was a panick attack sufferer until now. Honestly, I hate going anywhere where I can't get home immediately (buses that run only every hour are my worst nightmare) I cant tell you how much I cant wait until i can drive.
    please please please can i e-mail you for advice :( hugs kim xxx

  65. Julie

    Great thoughtful post Zoe! I used to get panic attacks in my teens and twenties but I am much better now (on an SSRI). Hope the attacks lessen for you in the future. Good job on educating yourself :)

  66. Nia

    I suffer from very mild panic attacks (no where near as bad as yours) when I'm on a plane. And only on a plane, strange really. I get an unbearable stabbing pain in my stomach, shortness of breath and my sense of hearing and smelling is heightened. (not good when the plane food smells gross, makes you panic even more.) I then get very teary.

    The ONLY way I can stop myself from panicking is by lying down – if there isn't any spare seats where I can stretch out and have a nap I'll have to wait another good 4/5 hours untill I get off the plane. Now I don't have a full on panic for that amount of time, just uncomftable, uneasy, like you cant relax – which makes the pain in your stomach worse.

    I also have to eat little and very often, as me (and my sister) suffer from fainting A LOT.Whenever I feel clostrophobic and hot or have been standing up for a while without a drink my vision goes and have to sit down wherever I am… whether on a sofa or a shop floor. Again it doesn't get completely solved untill I grab something to eat.

    Your so strong and obviously are mature and handling this brilliantly. You can overcome anything as long as you want to, and that doesn't mean making it go away.

    Nia
    x

  67. Katie S

    You are an absolute star Zoe and SUCH a lovely girl, you don't deserve these panic attacks at all!

    As you know I have emetophobia too and all my previous panic attacks have been caused by the fear of people being sick, or feeling ill myself. Thinking about it, I probably had about ten (if not more) traumatic experiences involving people around me being ill when growing up which have all accumlutated in my brain to cause my phobia! I wish there wasn't such a thing.

    Hope to see you at another event soon girly! Much love xxxxxxx

  68. This was such an informative, helpful post and I'm sure it will reassure many people as it has done me. I used to have a huge fear of flying and on entering an aeroplane for our annual family holiday I would have a panic attack, I remember them like it was yesterday. Everyone around me was staring at me wondering what on earth was going on, but if you have ever suffered from a panic attack you will know that you have no control of yourself whatsoever, it was so embarrassing but there was nothing I could do about it. I now have to fly 3-4 times a year to visit my boyfriend who lives abroad, I'm getting better each time but I still have the fear of having a panic attack inside of me. I cry when my parents drop me off at departures because I know after that I'm on my own until I reach the other end. Slowly, I have gotten over this fear but even now, I still dont know when a panic attack will 'attack'. Thank you for sharing this Zoe! x

  69. Amazing post. It's really brave of you to share and it looks like it will help a lot of people :) xx

  70. This post helped me a lot, thanks :) x

  71. Maria

    Thanks so much for writing this!

    I have recently abandoned my uni course due to what I now think must have been panic attacks.

    I would dread going to uni, and that soon became a phobia of making noise or drawing attention to myself in the silent (but full) lecture theatres or exam halls. As time went on the phobia became stronger. I would sit in the hall distracting myself from the fear by fidgeting, becoming sweaty(eww) and tense, and quite shaky. I always felt like I wanted to cry. I would feel like the fidgeting was really obvious and everyone was looking at me because of it.
    Eventually, I started getting pains in my chest which was actually quite scary until reading this post made me realise it was just another symptom!
    My boyfriend was really supportive and said if uni makes me feel this way I should take a break. Thats what I'm doing now and I feel great; No more chest pains! No more tears over having to go to lectures and talk to "normal" people who have no idea what I am going through.

    My symptoms have now decided to say hello when I'm in the cinema too (I nearly fainted during HP!) which is really annoying but I literally run to the loos breathe for a bit and go back in and I'm fine (as long as I didn't miss anything good!!)

    I'm not saying it's ok to leave behind everything that causes panic, but uni had not a single positive effect on my life and I know I made the right decision. Just like you with pubs, I mean I know its fun for most people, but you really aren't missing much!!

    Reading this has made me feel even more as though I have made the right choice and for the right reasons. Being healthy and happy is waaaay better and waaaaaaay more important than being like everyone else :) xxxx

  72. Maria

    Oops and I forgot to say how sorry I am for you that your panic attacks are so bad! I think you are so brave and strong to keep up with everything and everyone else (like the London Eye trip!)

    You are quite inspirational !!! xxx

  73. Louise

    Zoe, thank you for opening your heart and being so honest.As well as my ME I've also suffered from a long period of depression, alongside frequent panic attacks, so I can relate to a lot of what your saying. Mine started off when my dad passed away, I was fine to go out on my own but if I went out with someone and I couldn't find them, you get the idea! I've had attacks in the middle of supermarkets, shopping centres, you name it. Thankfully some of the medication I now take has knocked the edge of them but I still have them occasionally when I'm trying to go to sleep. I don't know if its to do with being alone, or the dark, I get the most awful sensation of panic and fear – sorry that this was a ramble but thanks for sharing and lots of look for the future xx

  74. Seonaid

    Thank you. I have suffered from panic attacks for the past two years and it's nice to know I'm not alone. From not being able to sleep at night, to needing to go home when I am out with friends – panic attacks can strike at any time and they are difficult to explain to people – some people can be quite judgemental.
    Thank you for bringing attention to something that affects so many people – I was ashamed to go to a doctor for a long time because I thought it was a silly problem, when so many people had 'real problems'.
    Now I have things are better.
    S xx

  75. Becki

    Thankyou for posting this, it must have been hard to write so in depth about something that affects you like that. I don't suffer with the same panic attacks as you but have a horrible phobia of sickness (and anything to do with it really), and I’ve realized that the symptoms you have of panic attacks are very similar to the ones I have with Etemophobia (the fear of sickness) and sometimes other times when I feel REALLY out of my comfort zone. I think what I’ve managed to do is make the sickness to be much more of a negative thing in my mind than it really is, and associate it with feeling out of control.
    I have to do what you do and remove myself from the situation, and drink water and breathe deeply, or I just feel worse and worse. I used to, and probably still have a phobia of roller coasters, that got so bad once I broke down crying at the local fair when I was surrounded by these pretty tame fun fair rides and felt so stupid, especially as my little sister couldn’t understand why I was acting like this because she loves those kinds of rides! I felt like no one understood how I felt and thought I was weird/just being silly, and you’re right when you say it affects confidence and self esteem. Probably because it affects our daily lives, and the avoidance of the problem makes those ‘everyday’ situations horrible to deal with.
    I remember once when I had just arrived in morocco on an expedition with my school and the first night we spent in a hotel when I lay down in my bed it hit me just how far away from home, my mum and my comfort zone I was that I could not for the life of me relax, I felt so close to panicking, but thank god my best friend was there, and I got into her bed haha. I think there’s something really personal about these types of anxiety or phobias, and you feel kind of trapped in a bubble with your fear. I don’t think I’ve ever written this down because I never viewed it as an actual medical problem or encountered anyone who felt the same thing, it’s really reassuring to know others have it too. Hopefully i can get better at dealing with it, even though i'm not as bad as other people, i love travelling and meeting new people, so i want to be able to deal with new situations better.
    Sorry for rambling on! I hope yours or anyone else’s panic attacks/phobias get easier to deal with, you sound really brave with trying to get on and lead a normal life :-) xx

  76. I was at a festival/concert and while in the crowd, naturally people began to push and shove, i was completely surrounded by people i didn't know because my friends and i were gradually becoming separated by the crowd, it had become so violent at one point that a fully grown man in his late 20's literally shouted and began swearing in my face. He was so close to me and i've had weird personal space issues in the past, bearing in mind i'm a 16 year old girl the man proceeded to push and actually punched me in the ribs at one point as he thought it was me that was pushing him even though i was being pushed in the crowd as much as he was and i'm not exactly a fighter – i hate confrontation. Everything just felt like it was closing in on me, i couldn't breathe, i didn't know anyone around me, i was in a crowd of 50,000 people and a man was shouting in my face and hitting me… it all just became too much and i had an asthma attack there and then i will be forever greatful for the 5 decent people behind me that screamed at the security guard to come and get me and i had to be lifted out of the crowd, you would think i would breathe a sigh of relief however i was taken to the st johns hospital tent and had a full in panic attack experiencing everything you just explained. I had never had one before and there was no chance i was finding any of my friends – it was absolutely horrific and terrifying. I have complete sympathy for people who suffer from these on a regular basis i occasionally still have them when i'm surrounded by lots of people and sometimes when i have asthma attacks which you could imagine is a great combination. I really hope you can overcome your panic attacks Zoe, i know how it feels and i wouldn't wish it upon anyone :) xxxxx
    http://catrionaa.blogspot.com/

  77. Hannah

    I have bad panic attacks too. It pretty much ruined my last year of secondary school – I hardly ever went, when I did I was fidgety, quiet and just generally didn't want to be there. Luckily I'd taken some of my qualifications the year before so my grades didn't slack too much and I got a doctors note sent to the exam board for the rest.
    I only told a few of my best friends at the time, I was 100% in the same boat as you with the 'what if people are calling me weird behind my back' feeling. I was supposed to be going to college after secondary but just simply never made it in – I wanted to go so badly, see my friends, be normal for once. I'd even text them the night before telling them to save me a seat but then flake the next morning – having spent the night awake with worry and crying uncontrollably.
    Luckily now I work part-time at the same place as my Mum, it's not a long-term solution but it's really helped me become more confident and stopped anxiety from ruling my life. Work are really understanding and having my Mum there as silly as it sounds makes it better, because I know that if I do panic she can just take me home.
    My GP referred me for CBD when I was first diagnosed and the woman who did it was lovely. Personally I found that a lot of the techniques they gave me things like 'write down all the reasons you'll be okay. ping a rubber band every time you start to feel panicky. etc.' I'd already picked up from my online research & reading. Also, a few months ago I went to hypnosis, (around the time I was suppose to be starting college to try and push me in the right direction) to be honest it did nothing for me. I had to go private, but for me it wasn't worth it – it has to work for some people but my GP said that it only has a effect in maybe 1 in 10.
    Looking back now at what I've written makes me realise just how much anxiety and panic attacks have affected my life in the past year/ two years. I worry daily that people don't understand, that they get annoyed with me constantly changing plans, that one day they'll just say they've had enough. With my families support I'd say things are definitely looking up for me, that's not too say I don't have days where I don't leave the house, but all in all I'd say I'm starting to get a handle on it better. (Also I've started taking Fluoxetine, having changed doctors and found that it's really helped!)
    It's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one suffering with this problem, sometimes you just feel like you're so alone. Like no one understands, but it's nice to come across pages like this – where I've been reading your blog for months clueless but actually you're just like me :) and I'm not a freak haha. Thanks for posting this, I know it's hard opening up to close friends & family about it, never mind anyone else. I really respect the courage it must have taken, you've made my day.

    Hannah
    x

  78. this is a great post zoe and i admire you so mch for putting this up so people who doent experience this can understand. This is something i relate to completly, panic attacks are horrible, unfortunatly for me i tend to have most of mine when i'm in the comfort of my own home. I have the biggest fear that i'm not breathing properly and sitting down watching t.v the simplest of things can bring on a major panic attack. for 20 mintutes or so it actually feels as though i am dying. Im so lucky and fortunate to have a boyfriend that knows just what to do. as soon as I allow my mind to think about my breathing i go into panic mode.

    thankyou for sharing this, and i am so pleased that you are getting stronger and doing more things that you can enjoy. you should be so proud of yourself xxxx

  79. Emma

    Reading your post, and all the comments has felt like therapy. I have a lot of anxiety and a couple of really horrible panic attacks in the last year and somehow thought it was just me, alone and it didn't happen to anyone else – I feel so comforted to know there are other young ladies going through the same thing, and understand exactly how terrible it feels.

    Thanks so much xxx

  80. Bridget

    Thank you for writing this. I know you must be 'putting yourself out there' so to speak as you seem to get a lot of negative feedback sometimes (which, frankly, I think is undeserved!). I suffer from panic attacks but they are very 'mild' if you can call it that and I don't get them often. The first one I remember getting was when I was about 10 and about to go take a test in games (I'm really rubbish at games!). I remember asking my friend if she ever felt like this (and explained my symptoms which were a feeling of unreality and heightened hearing) and she had no idea what I was talking about. I also remember saying that I'd felt like this before, but I don't remember when that was.
    It was only years later that I googled those symptoms and saw that it was a panic attack.
    I can't imagine what yours are like though as mine are rather mild and don't happen very often, maybe they aren't even panic attacks at all, but they do seem to fit everything I've read about them.

    I wish you the best of luck at fighting your panic attacks and thank you again for sharing this with us. :) x

  81. Amazing, brave and honest post. So informative too, which is great. I love what you said about everything seeming 10x louder – when I'm anxious I can't handle any noise or questions.
    I feel lucky that I haven't experienced a panic attack for a few months now, and I think it's down to CBT. It's such a shame you can't get it on the NHS. My therapist has worked out that I'm more of a "worrier" than a "panicker", but when I let my worry get out of control is when I can have a panic attack. Just knowing this fact helps me control my worry, and therefore I can almost rule out panic attacks. It's pretty life changing! Especially as a few years ago, I was too scared to leave my home, too scared to walk into any building without someone else going in first, and many other things. Anxiety really does control your life, and it's so frustrating.
    I hope anyone reading this, recognising the symptoms, or knowing that anxiety is holding them back from life, goes and seeks help. It took me years (and some Diazepam) to finally get me to go to CBT, but it has helped me enormously. It's not for everyone, but it's definitely worth a try, as it could give you your life back.
    Hope you're managing okay,
    Lyzi xxx

  82. very interesting post, i have suffered a few mild attacks myself but have been around people who suffer quite severe attacks. I think it's great that your speaking out and it's very brave of you to do so to such a large audience of people who wouldn't necessarily look to you for this kind of info :o) it's amazing how many people will now read this because of you, and have more of an insight to how to cope with people who suffer or perhaps help them directly.
    one of my fave blog posts ever.
    xx

  83. really proud of you for doing this :)

    the other top tip I have for people from a nurse and someone who has them on the tube very often :

    carry a paper bag and breathe into it during a panic attack ( if you can persuade yourself too) or when you feel one coming on

    xox

  84. erin

    ive got a friend of a friend who had a panic attack in a restaurant because she was nervous about who was going to be there all of her supposed 'friends' laughed at her and skitted her for it because she looked stupid,it was horrible,she wasnt in school for a week.she was scared of what they'd tease her for
    i think youre so brave to tell everyone what youve been through and its nothing to be ashamed of:) xxxx

  85. Meg

    Thanks for this blog post Zoe, you very brave and I'm sure it will help so many people – sufferers and their family/friends.

    I can vouch for CBT being very, very useful. I'm sure you've done your research but if you want to know anything feel free to email me.

    I'd really try and see another GP though. I hate the thought of taking medication but sometimes it is really useful – even to keep in your bag for post-panic attack as it can really take the edge off the heightened anxiety afterwards until you can get somewhere 'safe'.

    xx

  86. Steph

    I have been having panic attacks since I was 14 (I am now 21) and I have to say almost all of this post resonates with me. They put you in such a different head space and it is almost impossible to stay grounded. I have found that being communicative (similar to you writing down everything) helps me end an attack much quicker. For instance I recently ended things with my ex boyfriend of 5 years. I knew it needed to happen (he did not treat me very well) but was terrified because I didn't know what the stress would do to my anxiety. I also have a horrible anxiety about people getting sick and he threw up while we were breaking up on the phone. This triggered a HUGE panic attack. I had to get off the phone with him. I immediately called my mom, and told her literally every thought that was going through my head, as soon as I thought them, regardless of how ridiculous they were. I think maybe this helped me in organizing my thoughts or at least getting them out of my head so they weren't trapped in there. As I've gotten older I've actually discovered that one of the most useful ways of dealing with my anxiety is to tell somebody exactly what I'm thinking right away. Even if it feels like its not going to help, it always helps at least a little in getting rid of my anxiety. This is not a new problem to me and I'm not going to pretend that I have a handle on it, but I definitely have a much better understanding of myself and whats going on than I did before.. e.g. I find that I tend to be much more anxious when light is limited. I live in Canada in the 8th coldest city in the world-so our winters are harsh and daylight is limited. I find it is much easier to be anxiety free in the long warm summer days.
    Anyways haha now that you've basically read my life story…
    It's really great to hear about somebody who has been through what I've been through and understands exactly what I/we are dealing with.
    This isn't my complete story obviously, but I hope the bits I've shared will be useful to you.
    I think the biggest thing for all of us to remember is that no matter how messed up our heads feel for that time we just need to keep on breathing and the sun will rise tomorrow. Even the darkest, longest night has a morning!!
    Keep on keeping on!
    Hugs from Canada xo

  87. I was away on vacation in a different country when I had my first panic attack. I really thought I was dying. It was by far the worst, and I have had quite a few after that first one. Not knowing what to expect takes it to a whole different level of panic. I never went to the doctor because when I got back home my mom explained it was normal and there was nothing wrong with me and supposedly I'm not the only one in my family who suffers from it. Most of the time now I can feel them coming and can stop it from getting out of hands. But it doesn't always work out so well. Just last month I had a bad one at night in bed. And it's so true that the last thing you want is for people to start talking all around you, it makes it that much worse. It's taken me nearly 6 years to (somewhat) understand it and learn how to make it better. Any new information about it always helps. So thanks for writing this post!

  88. Thanks for this Zoe – my boyfriend has gone through CBT and has gone from panicking in restaurants, cinemas etc to actually getting on a plane. Big step for him. It really has changed his life. You are super :) xxx

  89. I've learnt so much from this, Zoe and what you've said, makes such a lot of sense. I'm sure this post is going to help so many people. You should be very proud of it! Also a big well done for getting in that glass pod. That sounds like a huge feat given the panic you get. Have a great weekend, Zoe x

  90. Bless your heart for taking the time, effort and courage to write this post… I'm 26 years old and have suffered with panic attacks for the past 12 years intermittently. I am a mental health professional, and know many other people who have suffered with this often not talked about disorder. It really can happen to anyone from any walk of life. I sometimes notice panic coming on at the strangest of times without any warning, but for me, usually when I feel out of control in some way, shape or form.

    What's so wonderful is how you've had the courage to share your story. I think a lot of young women are so concerned with portraying an image of being confident and successful, and unfortunately this means that people are often reluctant to share their vulnerability and anxieties. So well done for putting yourself out there!

    I know this post would have been so helpful to me when I was younger x

  91. Sadie

    I've just been sat reading this and it has been like sat reading something I have wrote myself. I can relate to almost everything you have said. I have also suffered from panic attack for over 6 years and after losing a lot of friends and my boyfriend of 5 years, it left me so sad but has also left me with people that are truly supportive. I had my first panic attack on a train returning home from visiting my boyfriend and haven't been able to get on any public transport since. I'm hoping one day I can push through it the way you do. Like you say all we want to do is enjoy life and not feel fear in situations where we should feel fun, happiness or excitement. I have lost so much confidence and self esteem, and finally after 6 years of seeing different doctors have I found one that really understands and helps, and has finally referred me for CBT. It's sad that this seems such a taboo subject and that we really have to fight to be able to get help. Thank you so much for this post and making me feel a little less alone. I hope one day I will have the strength you have had to push through and get on a train or be able to drive again, and just to start enjoying life again. There's no worse feeling in the world. I really hope we can both eventually kick anxiety in the ass :) xx

  92. I can relate to this, oh my goodness. Mine all started from stress at uni, depression from my parents divorce ( yes I used to get panic attacks when I was in bed)! being in small spaces like busy trains and packed shops ( Primark)!! I don't know about you but I suffer from insomnia too! Oh and when you said about being in clubs/pubs, there have been times where I've had to sit outside on a pavement head between knees!
    I'm really glad you wrote this post, now I know I'm not the only one.

    :) Kathrynxx

  93. Sarirah

    Thank you for writing this post. I really needed to read this. In fact, I could think of a few people who should also read this to know how real it is! My first two years of Uni were a complete wreck because of my inability to control my anxiety & having panic attacks.

    And now, I'm not afraid to admit how it encouraged further mental and physical problems which I am still experiencing the after effects of. This year however, I feel like i'm in control alot more and I can't quite understand why. This post has urged me to establish what I am associating with when I feel panicked and overly anxious; what am i afraid of? Being honest with yourself will only benefit you in the long run.

    I wish you the best of luck, love and support for the future. :) xox

  94. Molly

    Thank you for posting this post! None of my friends (except for one who suffers from panic attacks) understands what a panic attack is and that it is a serious internal type of anxiety. They say "it's all in your head, or just breathe, you're a grown up." It is the most hurtful response and it makes me feel ten times worse like something is wrong with me, when I already feel like I'm going crazy! I suffer from panic attacks that stem from my allergies to all dairy products. When I am put in a position to try new foods or go to restaurants, it is absolute hell for me. I make myself think I am having an allergic reaction and it actually feels like I am dying. Then I get a panic attack from fear of having a panic attack is that makes sense. I was put on an anti-depressant which has helped a lot, but one summer I completely stopped taking it cold turkey (NEVER EVER DO THIS) and literally could not leave my house all summer. I would sit in my room and listen to my heart beat fast, it was THE worst summer I could not do anything due to this fear.

    It is so hard for people who do not suffer from panic attacks or anxiety to understand what it feels like. It is a TERRIFYING feeling and it makes the person feel completely defeated afterwards. I hate when my friends say, "oh I had a panic attack yesterday about my test or about a boy," this is not a panic attack and can not even be compared to what a panic attack is. It is so hard but with years of working on myself and recently studying abroad here in London from the US, I have been pushing myself to really be in control of my anxiety. It is so hard but you take it day by day.

    Thank you so much for posting this and I am so sorry you have to go through it, we all want to live life to the fullest and it is SO hard when it feels like something is stopping you from doing so. I feel like I am supposed to be this carefree girl but I'm not at all and struggle with anxiety everyday. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best, you are so great for sharing this!

  95. I have GAD and I was on medication until a few months ago for panic attacks, I used to have them very often. I realized the medication i was taking was only preventing the actual panic attack and not the terrible anxiety i had. I decided to make the choice to gradually stop taking them and make other changes in my life for example i moved away from where I live and now while my anxiety isn't gone I have far fewer panic attacks which i'm very thankful for, though they might still occur it isn't so often.
    My panic attacks would usually occur when I was on my own and about to enter a social situation but my worst one was the day I had actually decided to go to the Dr's about them. It actually happened in front of people, in a class at college. I think it was the worst as it seemed to be elevated by these people around me (who previously didn't know i suffered with them) seeing me in a state of weakness and a lack of control. Having to leave the room in such a state and having to return with those people. It's hard to even think about it. But I went to the doctors and she gave me medication to physically stop panic attacks from occurring, not anxiety. I had to tell my friends why i went into 'melt down' in class and why I sometime wouldn't go out.
    Eventually, I stopped taking my medication though. In August I nearly had a panic attack at the thought of going into a post office. I didn't though because I was on medication. But after I realized that I didn't feel any better being extremely anxious & not having a panic attack. It sounds stupid but I almost thought it would have been better to have a release. Albeit, a very terrifying release.
    I really applaud you for going to that London Eye event, I definitely wouldn't have. You're very brave. I really hope your CBT goes well! xxx

  96. I know how you feel about going out and partying. My mom was an alcoholic and into drugs on top of being bipolar. It was horrible, and I associate danger and negative emotions with drinking. I live in the US and am under 21, but many of my friends drink anyway. They don't really invite me out to things as much now that they've started drinking, and they've grown closer because they have social drinking to bond over. I feel very left out, and they treat me almost like I'm a prude. I just have no desire to drink at all, and being around drunk people makes me extremely uncomfortable. I hate being isolated from people, but they just don't understand.

  97. Zoe

    Dear Name-Twin (haha!),

    To echo everyone else, thank you for writing this. It's always been hard for me to explain my anxiety, but this is exactly it. I knew it was bad for me too when I started having panics with my boyfriend. I was offered medication but I did turn it down, but I haven't been suffering as long as you have (maybe 2 years or so).

    I know it's bad when I have panic attacks because anxiously awaiting to come see my boyfriend. Ack!

    Stay safe, happy & healthy,
    -Zoe

  98. Zoe. Your an angel and I'm so proud of you for posting this because not many people would. I've suffered from panic attacks for about 9 years and I'm only 20 :( it gets worse the older I get and the more responsibility I have. I quit Uni, have no relationship, not many friends. Close my self up in my room hoping and praying for a better day. I don't experience the same attacks mine are from worrying about the future. I worry moving out of my home. Sleeping any where other than home. Being away from my family. There's not a thing in the world that I don't worry about. I've never been to the doctors about it but I think I might now ive read you were brave enough too. I have insomnia too, which makes me even more anxious there for I suffer with attacks most nights due to worrying about sleep?!?!?! Vicious cycle. Hope it all works out: and thank you

  99. Thank you so much for posting this. I suffer from anxiety and can relate to a lot of what you said.

  100. 010

    I have been struggling with depression for the past years until today. Your information are totally true. Not everyone really understand it well. People might not know what we "a sufferer" thinking. What i found out is they like to make assumption on me. The worse part of my life where I get panic attack during my exam period. So, in the end I see blank. Depression make me feel horrible where I turn our to be bulimia/ed and panic attack. I also found out people don't understand it because they don't understood me, what they really understand is the meaning of it but they don't understand the true meaning of depression/panic attack.

  101. 010

    anyway, please take care !
    3lin

  102. Thank you for being so brave as to share this with us! Panic attacks can be really scary! I am sorry that you have been suffering with this, but you are sooo brave to share your story! Stay strong!

  103. Hi! I found your blog while watching your youtube.
    I've been having panic attacks since i started doing major exams. The worse part is i know that im wasting time panicking and it just sets me off into a worse panic attack than before.
    I found that hypnotherapy worked a bit. But i still have the attacks. Although most last for a shorter period of time than before, some don't. I might try the book you've mentioned. Just wanna say that i'm so glad you wrote this post. It mustn't have been easy and i don't think i would have found it simple to write about something so personal. But thanks for doing it!
    – Sophie

  104. Tali

    Like lots of people who have posted, I am also a massive anxiety sufferer. This post has made me feel a lot better about my (what my friends would call) "antisocialness". charming eh! It's good to know there's other girls out there who like dressing up, fashion, makeup etc and yet can barely set foot in a pub let alone club!! I'm 24 and haven't been clubbing since 21, and even then I would suffer from panic etc. My friends don't understand, "step out of your comfort zone" they say, but they don't get it!!

    Anyway enough about me!! I really encourage you to go to another GP for a second opinion, and try to get seen by a counsellour/therapist/CPN etc. I have lots of mental health issues – bipolar, psychosis (yes really), eating issues and anxiety. I see a psychiatrist, psychologist, occupational therapist, CPN etc and I think you would benefit a lot too! A lot of people on the NHS are trained in CBT and it really does help so much to be taught CBT by a professional rather than from a book.

    So yeah, please try again! And ask to be referred to someone, and don't take meds!! Valium is so addictive lol.

    Take care

    xxxx

  105. Giò

    OMG! I was breathless when I finished this post. I didn't know how awful could be a panic attack. You and all the people who suffers from it and who fights it need to be very proud of yourselves. You're so strong!
    Love from Italy!!!

  106. Marina

    That was amazing.

    Firstly I’m sorry for this LONG reply. As another anxiety, panic attack and emetephobic I seriously commend you for writing that.

    I’m 21 and my story is similar to yours but with a different first trigger. I believe mine was when I was 9 and I had this awful orthodontic brace which was fixed to the roof of my mouth. This brace was like a torture treatment, it really made eating difficult and I hated eating in front of other people. My first panic attack happened in the lunch hall in my primary school when I refused to eat my packed lunch. The dinner ladies told me I couldn’t leave unless I’d eaten it which made me so panicky and claustrophobic and I just started shaking and getting hot and I couldn’t control myself. I told my mum when I got home and she let the school know I’d be going home for lunch for the rest of that term. However, even when I got my brace off later in the year, I still had the odd panic attack. This time it was whenever I felt ill, or was near someone ill. I think it changed into this because of how ill the panic attacks made me feel, so as soon as I felt a twinge of something inside me that could somehow turn into a panic attack (or worse be sick) I panicked more and felt even more ill.

    As I got older and went to university, although I still hated it, I got more used to other people being drunk and ill. However this didn’t make the fear of myself being sick go away. I also like to drive just so I know I can get home if I need to as I hate not having an exit. I agree with what you say, we don’t want to be like this! I look at other girls who post their pictures from nights out on Facebook and think to myself “look how much fun they’re having with no care in the world”. I want to be like that! I want to feel so panic free that the word panic doesn’t even crop up in my mind before a night out.

    My boyfriend is very considerate and understanding about it all. I feel so bad when he tries to comfort me during a panic attack because it must be such a weird situation for him. I dislike people touching me during a panic attack as it makes me feel trapped, so I don’t let anyone put their arm around me. I find it hard to talk during a panic attack due to having a dry throat and my jaw tenses up. So I’m just sat there in a silent shaking mess.

    Like you, I put off going to see a doctor because I thought I could control it myself and always thought to myself “it will go away one day”. In fact, it got worse. So I plucked up the courage to go to my NHS doctor. They were NO help. All she did was say “mhmm” when I listed my symptoms and the fact I’d suffered with this since I was a child. I felt so let down. But my mum found an NHS trust in Hertfordshire which runs CBT. The link is here: http://www.hertspartsft.nhs.uk/our-services/community-services/enhanced-prmary-mental-health-servcies/ Obviously I know you, and many others don’t live in Hertfordshire but there could be other services similar in your counties. I went to see a lady and talked and cried to her for an hour. Although she didn’t offer me one to one sessions (which I was disappointed about, I think it has more to do with NHS budgets than me not being suitable) I am starting group CBT therapy.

    I could go on forever about my experiences, my highs, my lows, my accomplishes, my failures, but you’ve listed such good examples of how bad it can get, but also the sense of achievement and elation that can happen when you conquer something you didn’t think you could like the London Eye (and for me it was a gig in London). If we remember those achievements we can use them to push us through even more and hopefully make us realise that we CAN do this.

    If you ever need someone to moan about panic attacks with please feel free to message me on FB, just search for /marina.walker

    Lots of love xxx

  107. kasuelf

    Hi Zoe, thank you for writing this post. You are very brave girl to share what you've been through… I have moments when I'm extremely scared. And as stupid it might sound I'm scared I'll die. First time it happened soon after my first son's birthday; I developed condition called Sarcoidosis. I didn't know at the time I had it, I only knew I had lumps in my lungs and I was scared it's cancer. I had swollen knees and sore lumps on my legs, It was painful to walk. I couldn't breathe properly, I was weak. I remember I was cuddling my baby and crying eyes out, I was scared and had no idea what was happening to me.
    but panic attack is so diffident. I had it when I was having my c-section. i was sitting naked and waiting for spine injection and started to feel sick. my heart was pounding, I felt I'm going to faint. I started to cry and couldn't stop, my body was shaking. I felt stupid and ashamed, like a silly cow. I was crying during whole thing, only stopped when by baby was out and I was told hes fine.
    I did have another moment of fear, without the reason I started to think i'll die, I wont be there for my boys, I wont know what their life is like.
    Its OK to be scared.Its OK to have panic attack. but when you are like this its important to learn how to cope with it, so you can enjoy your life.

  108. Meli

    Zoe, thank you for sharing this with us. It helps me feel less alone. I remember my first major panic attack. Racing thoughts, feeling like there was ice water in my veins and my heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to pop right out of my chest. My father used to be a huge drinker which caused a LOT of terrifying moments. And though things are better now, and he no longer drinks, I find myself triggered by certain things and just DO NOT enjoy going to clubs or bars. I feel trapped in a lot of situations that involve alcohol, though I have managed a few nights out with friends who I am super comfortable with. I also used to have panic attacks in my sleep. Weird..I know. I didn't think it was possible but my doctor informed me that it was..and they were happening to me. I would wake up feeling shaky and as if I were having a heart attack. Pounding heart and everything. The worst are the ones that happen for no reason. :( I will start feeling that flush in my face and I literally sit there trying to talk myself out of it. "There is nothing wrong Melinda. There is nothing wrong Melinda…" I feel silly in my self dialog, but this often helps if I catch it fast enough. There have been so many nights I could not sleep I was so panicked and literally cried myself to sleep. I got a prescription for Ambien..a sleep aid, so when these nights hit-at least I can get to sleep quick. Though I don't recommend taking sleep aids unless you really need to.
    I feel less alone now sweet Zoe. I wish I could offer some sort of advice, if I run across any info I will pass it on. Hopefully this will help people understand how serious this is. It is so frustrating when people don't understand or downright deny you your right to your feelings. I was once told "YOU have never had a panic attack. YOU don't know how it feels. You don't know what you're talking about." And this came from a close family member. I felt totally unvalidated-as if my feelings were unimportant and I have a carefree life compared to theirs. UGH! People need to understand-our experiences may be different, but they are very REAL to each person. Sorry this is such a long comment :/. But it means a great deal to me that you shared it. I would try another doctor though, I've found that you really have to dig around for the one's who really care and will take the time to help.

  109. Meli

    PS…stay strong Sweet Zoe. You can do this! We both can!

  110. Laura

    This is one of the best blog post's I've ever read! I've had anxiety attacks since I was about 14 and I'm 17 now. They started in a similar situation to what yours did at a house party with underage drinking. As a result I get anxious around drunk people, if I go out to a pub or to a party, if I am in a close space or anywhere I've had an attack before (like the filing cabinate thing). I just start to shake and have a horrible feeling of dread.

    I went to my GP on the NHS recently to get help because it just got too much. They were no help, after explaining my symptoms (shakes, feeling sick etc) the doctor just gave me a link to a website which turned out to be a self-help guide explaining ways to distract yourself. I instantly got online as I had already tried these things to help me, things like counting and concentrating on breathing but nothing had ever helped and I wanted something that would actually work. I found 'Bach' a brand that specialises in 'flower remedies' for numerous sitations (I think it's quite well known). I purchased a spray which you spray twice inside your mouth, its really quick and easy and doesn't taste thaaat bad. You can go through a process on their website where you can choose certain 'flower remedies' to suit your needs. Before I go out anywhere I expect myself to have an attack I always use it but I'm not sure that it works as I have experienced attacks since but it does seem to take the edge off or I don't feel like I'm going to have an attack before I do, which can sometimes be worse. I do find that going outside or where it's cold/quiet and walking around helps me too.

    I also end up turning down going out because I am scared of an attack which is sad and I hate myself for it. I dread losing friends because of it as they don't know how to deal with my attacks, I find that I snap and get annoyed if people say things like "come on just try doing this" and that they will just get fed up of me eventually. I feel people think I'm being dramatic and silly or I'm just being boring by not going out which will/nearly has, resulted in to me not being invited at all.

    I have found this post SO helpful and I will definately be taking your advice on board. It's nice to know somebody who suffers from a similar thing as nobody I know has ever had an anxiety/panick attack and really don't understand what's happening when one creeps up on you.
    Thank you so much xxxxx

  111. Brilliant post Zoe. I don't suffer with the extreme type of anxiety but can get really anxious before job interviews, coursework deadlines and job interviews, i usually take a herbal remedy called rescue remedy which if your like me really help.

  112. I also suffer from anxiety, which has been made much worse recently by a big bout of despression. I also found my GP very unhelpful, it wasn't until things escalated and I was hospitalised that I started getting help… even then I don't know if it was the right thing for me! I've finally found medication that has helped me but it's taken a lot of trial and error to get there and I'm not sure if some of the medication actually sent me backwards rather than forwards.

    Mental health is so difficult.

    The one thing that has helped is having a CPN to talk to every week. I start my CBT next week (I got referred in April, what a joke…) I would recommend talking therapy over everything else; although if you can find a way to pay for it yourself rather than being stuck on an NHS waiting list for months, you will probably find things get better quicker! There are lots of charities that offer subsidised counselling so always worth asking your GP about…

    I don't know, there are no easy answers. You just have to keep fighting and remember that things will get better eventually. Like you said, anxiety is awful but it won't kill you, even if it feels like it will sometimes.

    My mental health issues have ruled my life this year, and I need to get back on top of things.

    Good luck everyone :)

    xxx

  113. nets

    Hi Zoella, I know what it's like! I won't go into detail but I turned into a paranoid wreck and ended up seeing a psychiatrist because my anxiety became so unmanagable (I didn't work for years). After being stuck on various meds for over 7 years I demanded Cognative Therapy (I has to find this out myself), I was referred by the NHS and had a hours therepy once a week for a year. It turned out that I had a form of OCD called 'Pure OCD' By the end of my years therapy my life changed completely! I cannot believe I got over my issues and stopped taking the meds. Now 4 years on I feel that in a way I've learnt alot from the horrible experiences and they have made me a much calmer relaxed person (this took a while!) I don't think that anyone would believe I had theese problems as I'm so calm now!

    I just have to say that you must tell your doctor that you need CBT (tell them what to do otherwise they won't bother because of the money it will cost them) Also, it sounds like you have a fairly OK doctor because every one I saw wanted to stick me on meds.

    Now at 28 (scary!) I feel like I'm only about 20 because I lost so many years to this crap!
    Life has started and it couldn't get any better!
    I still avoid some situations (but not with regret) and I don't drink but it's easily managed!

    :)

  114. I have the same phobia of sickness which causes me to have a lot of panic attacks. No one understands them really and I often end up feeling quite stupid in front of my friends.

    I found hypnotherapy really helped. I definitely recommend it – it gave me some useful strategies on how to deal with panic attacks independently.

  115. C.A.R.

    I'd never really heard about panic attacks before, but i'll be paying extra attention around me now, and try to help or do what i can… wow…

    munchmecat.blogspot.com

  116. I love how all the panic attack sufferes are uniting together on this post. I've suffered from them for about 8 yearss now and in the past year it got so much worse to the point I was having on and upwards of about 10 panic attacks a day, each and every single day, it ruined christmas last year as christmas evening when we had family rounnd for games of cards etc, like you said, noise comes so much louder! I couldn't cope and was crying and panicing the whole night. In fact up untill summer this year I was signed off by the doctors in an unfit state to even work! It got that bad, was horrible. I've got so much better since, but still have them, and I can often get worried about having one then I'll have one, but I always carry around my kalms, special calming chewing gum and ani sickness tablets like you I have a fear of sickm espically being sick, so that makes the whole situation much worse.
    Honestly reading this made SO much sence, you literally spelt it out word for word. I'll deffinately be redirection friends and family to this post who just don't quite understand.
    -x
    http://makeupmeow.blogspot.com

  117. Wow thats amazing :)
    great post, I get really worked up and panicked over things and now I have a better insight into panic attacks :)
    Thanks Zoe :) <3 xxx
    and well done on the london eye!

  118. Abbey

    I have suffered from panic attacks for a while and it's only recently when one of my friends has witnessed me having one, they have realised that it's not easy. I hope that people with friends that suffer from this read this and realise that they need to support their friends and also understand what's going on.
    Abbey
    x x x

  119. Thanks so much for writing this – My anxiety began on the same basis, the fear of sick, and has accelerated since then. I've always felt like the only one who struggles to go out drinking with friends because of my anxiety, when I want to go so bad. This honestly made me feel much less alone. Thank you so much xxxx

  120. Kat

    This post is brilliant. I too am a sufferer of panic attacks and you have summed up EXACTLY how I feel! Even the sick phobia I have too, I HATE it and it is a major trigger. You're actually the only person who has even though my boyfriend/parents are comforting, they don't suffer.

    I also put off going to the doctors as I don't want meds and prefer to deal with it my way (which involves standing in fresh air and not moving… even when it happens at 4am! Think me in a dressing gown looking like a crazy cat lady.)

    Anyway, I could go on for ages but thanks for this post and I hope you find a way to get better/manage it like everyone else who suffers :-)

    xx

    blushing-rose.blogspot.com

  121. Soph.

    This post is so inspiring.

    As a panic attack sufferer myself, I completely agree with everything you have said!

    Yes, it gets you down and makes you angry and upset but believe me, you are strong!! Xx

  122. Lynn

    Hi Zoe,
    Thank you so much for this post! I suffer panic attacks too and as myself don't understand why it's happening, what more the people around me. I do the same things to relieve and calm myself down from it. This post will surely help.
    Take care!
    xx

  123. Bar

    Thank you soo much for this! I think it was very brave of you to share this with us. Panic attacks can be really scary! I am sorry that you have been suffering with this.
    xox

  124. I'm bi-polar. I don't usually tell people that but this is the internet and you don't know me so who's to judge? I also know its not the same but there were a few things that you said that really struck home. The first was your visit to the doctors. Before I knew what was going on I'd suffered an 18month low and when I finally gathered up the confidence to go to the doctors she simply screamed at me and gave me a few numbers and sent me on my way. I called the numbers and tried to get myself sorted but there was a six month waiting list. I had no idea how I would be in six months and I was scared that if I didn't manage to get myself sort I wouldn't be there in six months. I'm a scientist and my sisters a doctor so she gave me her text book on CBT, told me to read it and to understand the science behind it before applying it to myself.
    I kid you not it probably saved me. CBT is one of the most affective treatments you can do and I can tell you that from self experience. I urge you to try because at the end of the day whether its panic attacks o bi-polar disorder they are both manifestations of psychological problems. Unfortunately in such cases the only person who can fix that is yourself. Once I'd realised that I started to train my sub-conscious to pick up on what was getting me down and to prevent it from making my situation worse.
    It works sometimes; I've just come off a month low so not always but I now what's going on I reapply the theory of CBT and can usually pull myself out of my depression.
    I hope that you manage to conquer this mountain because no being in control of your body sucks and feeling alienated is one of the worse feelings in the world. However, I doubt people are really as affected by what you're experiencing as you think. People are more selfish than most people realise and if someone does judge you then they are simply not worth your time.
    I know I don't really know you but I've been following you a while and I think you're awesome. I'm very blunt and I don't give compliments unless I mean them.
    Good luck and if you need anyone we're here for you!
    Nashxx
    http://nash852.blogspot.com

  125. Louise

    Hi :) Thank you for this post, reading it has left me feeling a little better about my own anxiety problems.

    I've suffered with panic attacks for a few years now too. Mainly, it occurs when I feel I've lost control for example when I'm in a big crowd and I can't see a clear exit or if I feel unwell (or too tipsy).

    I've had many in the past that have only lasted a few minutes before I've calmed down (once in a crowd at a Elbow concert), but also one quite severe one that happened last year. I was travelling on quite a long journey in a car with my friend and her boyfriend (who was driving) and I started to feel travel sick. We were on the motorway and I felt there would be no where to pull over if the worse happened so I panicked, but panicked a bit too much (I think also because I have a fear of vomiting too.) I felt suffocated, like I couldn't catch my breath. I went light headed, had cold sweats and felt very dizzy. My hands and feet went tingly then numb and eventually my hands started to seize up into claw like positions and I couldn’t unclench my jaw to speak. My friend was terrified and didn't know what was wrong and thought I was low on sugar and tried to feed me coke cola, but I couldn’t swallow or open my mouth properly, I thought I was going to die! My hands were frozen and I felt like I was locked in my body.

    I passed out for a second and woke up at the doctors (was closer to the hospital.) My friend carried me in because I couldn't move and a doctor came out and helped. He kept asking if I'd taken drugs, then came to realise I was panicking. He tried to calm me down and unclench my hands to release the tension. He said if I didn't I would need an ambulance. Eventually I controlled my breathing a little better and my hands unclenched (and then I proceeded to throw up all over the floor…which actually helped :S!) I then had tests done to check I was ok and he let me go. My friends and I laugh about it now; they call me dinosaur arms, ha-ha, because of how my hands looked. But although we laugh now, at the time…there’s no words to describe how terrifying it really is, like there’s no way back from it. I also sometimes feel that people who observe my attacks think I'm sort of attention seeking, because they can't really understand why it would happen…even I don't really know why it happens, all I know is that when it does, it’s out of my control.

    That’s why it's good to know that there are others who suffer too, and the tips and guidance you have written seems like it could really help me, so thank you :D. I will get my family and close friends to have a read as it’s also good for them to have more understanding about them and I'm sure it would be more reassuring for them to know what to do when it occurs (reassuring for me too!) :D

    xx

  126. Rima

    Thank you Zoe for this great Blogpost.
    I think bloggers can write about more topics than only fashion and something else. Its important to let the world know, that we have more things to know especially such topics like panic atacks or cancer oder like that.

    Love Rima

    rimaloves.blogspot.com

  127. Célia

    I've had kind of panic attacks, sometimes because I was afraid I'd fail at something (this is my biggest fear) and sometimes cause I was so angry at someone, I swear I wanted to hit them, and kill them. I really scared me. Once, I threw something at someone to hurt them and then I went into my bed and didn't move for something like 4 hours, because I was afraid that if I moved, I'd be even more aggressive. Anywaysn, thank you for sharing your story with us. I really like your blog, your videos, and your personnality.

  128. Cait

    Honestly, I didn't know much about panic attacks (although I did have a friend that suffered and I never knew what to do to help her). It's so admirable that you are able to talk about it because I'm sure this will help loads of people and their friends and family. Thank you!

    Cait xx

  129. Giulia

    Zoe, you have no idea how much i appreciate you sharing this. For years i suffered of panic attacks, with my parents not taking the situation seriously and just saying that i was stupid and got worked up too easily. Then i had a major panic attack, which lead to pretty serious consequences, but even though the doctors tried to explain my parents what panic attacks were about, they just carried on believing that it is something stupid and related to the fact that i cannot control my emotions. As if they were comparing it to some teenagehood petty crisis (please note that i am past 20 haha). This is pretty stupid if i consider that my parents are otherwise extra caring and understanding. Luckily my boyfriend, whom i live with, does take it seriously, and helps me calm down and all whenever such events occur and i am with him. I have noticed that since i have someone helping me through with this, the frequency has decreased. A LOT.

    All this to say, resist, stay strong, and trust yourself more than any drug or medicine. You CAN work this out.

    Lots of love,

    Giulia
    http://giulesss.blogspot.com

  130. Hey hunny,

    I have literally only just discovered you on youtube and i'm kinda annoyed that I haven't seen you before now.

    I can totally 100% relate to this post. I'm 25 and have been panic attack free now for nearly a year. I've always suffered anxiety but it progressed onto full blown panic attacks a few years back and seemed to just creep up on me. The worst times being at work – not the most ideal place when you're a receptionist!!

    I would highly recommend CBT for you but I would go one step further and see a hypnotherapist. My mum is a psychotherapist/hypnotherapist and discussed it with me before I saw a therapist and I promise you that this will help you. The only down side is the cost of going private. It mounts up as the sessions go on but if you can commit to it, it is so so helpful. I, like you, was very disappointed in how my doctor and the NHS counselor handled my case – apparently you can treat someone with 3 hours CBT? pfft yeah right.

    wishing you the best of luck sweetie with trying to overcome this. I feel your pain.

    I'll be tuning in to all your youtube vids from now on.

    take care xx

  131. As a sufferer, survivor and tried and true anxiety handler of panic attacks (I have post tramautic stress disorder) I would suggest editing your article. Therapy (as in seeking treatment with a liscensed counselor, psychoanalysis, psychologist and if need be, psychiatrist) is the most effective means of dealing and learning to cope with intense feelings of anxiety. It is necessary to optimal health and I would suggest if you haven't sought treatment with these specialized professions to do so, you are loved and don't deserve to tough through this. An easier less burdensome path is possible. I also think, for the people that read this article, it would be the most responsible thing to do. It is imperative this information is included as the less knowledgable look now to you as source of education and suppprt.

  132. Thank you ever so much for writing this post! I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for over a year and like you have a phobia of sick. I find it really unnerving to go to parties or the pub, anywhere I know there will be excessive drinking. I've had a few panic attacks at college and the beginnings of many there which was awful because I never wanted to go. Once I'd had a panic attack there would be a negative stigma with whatever day it was, whatever shoes/coat/outfit I was wearing, whatever food I was wearing, even perfume. It was almost if I believed those things were causing my attacks, which I now know was totally untrue!
    My doctor, like yours, was totally unhelpful. He instantly put me on some anti-psychotic medication which didn't solve the problem at all.
    I have found that Rescue Remedy pastilles work best for me, dunno whether they actually work but taking them makes my brain believe I'm actively combating my anxiety.
    Thankfully I haven't had a panic attack since August and haven't felt remotely anxious since October.

    Again, thank you ever so much for writing this!
    xx

  133. Zoe

    I found this so interesting to read and i cant say that i understand because ive never had a panic attack or anything like it nor do i know anyone that has. A lot of things you said reminded me of things ive learnt in my Psychology class and the whole way through i was thinking that CBT would help so i was pleased to hear that you know about it, i really hope it helps you!

    http://zozeze.blogspot.com/xo

  134. Lydia

    I'd never thought about the same situations triggering panic attacks but you're right! Mine were nearly always in the middle of the night when I had essay deadlines and couldn't write the essay, seems trivial but it was horrible and nearly every essay deadline! Glad that they are getting less frequent so you are able to go about your life a bit more, was horrible seeing you have one that time! xxxxx

  135. Zoe, this was so kind and lovely of you to write this. It must have been really really hard for you to try and describe something so personal to yourself, but i'm sure it's helped many people, including myself :) thank you very much.

    Silly blogger doesn't let me comment on your page using my google account, so if your ever passing through my bloggy say hello.

    lots of love, orla :) x
    http://www.orlieani.blogspot.com

  136. My friend suffers from panic attacks and i never understood them so although i have always felt very sorry for her when she cant come out with us somewhere i have never known what to do or say to comfort her so this has been really helpful. i am also going to show her this blog post as she has only suffered with them since the summer so it may help her to understand and feel less alone also. i hope she feels like i am there for her now too :)

  137. Very interesting and informative :) I feel prepared now so that I can be on hand if anyone needs help!

  138. what a great personal blog post zoe! i loved the emotion put into it. I dont suffer from panic attack but i had a friend who did and she had the same triggers you did, with the drinking and partying. thank you for posting this!

    -kelly-

  139. Firstly, fair play for airing on your blog, takes a lot of strength to take about such a personal issue.

    The first time I suffered a panic attack it was so severe that I thought I was dying and made my boyfriend call an ambulance for me. I had subsequent attacks in the cinema and work and finally admitted to myself that I was not functioning properly and needed help. I went to CBT, not just for panic attacks but for related stress, depression and anxiety problems.

    During these sessions the single most useful advice I got when dealing with panic attacks was to just go with it. Accept that, yes I am having a panic attack, I'm not going to die, I'm not going crazy, it's not the end of the world – I suffer from panic attacks and that is ok. In my experience, the worst thing to do is fight the rising wave of panic as this only exacerbates the condition. By accepting that it is happening and not fighting against it you immediately feel calmer and the symptoms are not as intense or as prolonged as they usually are. By this simple thought process I have my panic attacks completely under control, I now recognise the first signs of a panic attack and then accept that it is happening rather than struggling against the inevitable and trying to control it or stop it altogether. I no longer take the panic attacks as seriously, I no longer attach any awful meaning (such as it being a sign of my imminent death etc) or rehash, relive or over anaylse the panic attack. I accept it and am ok with it and the wave of panic subsides before gathering any momentum whatsoever.

    Hope this is of some help xxx

  140. Wow.youre so brave for sharing this, thank you!I cant tell u how well u articulate the feeling!I have always been a worrier!Its when this worry is consistent and extreme that it turns to attacks.I remember one of my first occurrence s was when I had to b forced onto the stage even tho I was so scared, or when I suddenly worried in the middle of a dance.Things got a lot worse when I worried about my future post uni and I went into complete anxiety breakdown,I could barely even get thro work without turning into a mess for no reason.I tried Christmas, I tried tablets but neither worked.Im now an Occupational therapist and altho I still have situational anxiety,ive learnt how to stop it from spiralling so that it spills into my whole life and practising what I preach as an ot.Much of what u said in your post actually!As well as distracting myself with my interests,writing lists and slowing down my thinking!It's nice to know we're not alone xxx

  141. Wow, your so brave! Well done for taking steps to manage it and trying to stop it hindering your life, your a great role model. Two of my friends have had regular panic attacks after their dad died and while they do go to the doctors, they just get signed off work for a week instead of trying to do anything about stopping them or trying to manage them which obviously doesn't help improve things.
    I have only ever had one and it was the most terrifying experience ever, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
    It's great you are speaking out xx

  142. Laura

    Thank you for posting this post, another great thing is all the comments people have left! It is reassuring to see there are so many other people in the same situation. I suffer from panic attacks, I usually faint when I have them unless I can control it. I have done it all my life and my mum said I was around 2 or 3 years old the first time. Over the years I have learnt how to calm myself down better but I still faint sometimes. I also try hard to not let it stop me doing things in my life. It is hard but gradually working up to bigger situations is the best way.

    I also find if I can get out of the situation I am fine. I will go to the toilet and calm down on my own.

    I also went to a cognitive therapist but I only went once because she was trying to find out what first caused my panic attacks and I don't know because I was so young. She was also teaching me the techniques like saying the alphabet backwards and did some hypnotherapy. I think for the hypnotherapy to have had an effect I would have had to go to more sessions so I can't really comment on that!

    Also, I bit random but as I was typing this an advert came on TV for Peter Andre with Piers Morgan next Saturday at 10pm talking about panic attacks!

    PS I loveee your YouTube videos, especially vlogs with A sprinkle of glitter! Thanks again for taking the time to write this post because I'm sure it wasn't the easiest thing to write!

  143. Thanks for this!

  144. melissa

    Mine started a year ago so this post is very helpful for me. What triggered mine was my husband getting out of the navy. No navy…no income. We are both set on me staying home with the kids until they are in 1st grade and up. Not quite sure what that would be to your country but basically both kids would be over the age of 5. So instead I found ways to bring in cash here and there. But not near enough to cover bills or even A bill.

    My husband was without a job for about 9 months. During that time I had attacks over anything and even things I used to love doing. Last year I went and saw Dane Cook for the first time in concert and I was sitting there freaking out and not being able to breathe because there were so many people. But the second the guy stepped onto stage I was fine.

    Things that I notice help me is deep breathing and walking in fresh air. So usually I will walk laps around my house. Probably look like an absolute kook to my neighbors but can't say I care! Also focusing on a thing I enjoy. Which explains the concert thing. Now that my husband has a job I noticed that I barely have any anxiety attacks. My last one was over a month ago.

  145. This was so interesting, I loved this post Zoe, never thought you had panic attacks but I can relate so much! I don't suffer from them, but I got them a few times before (I never thought of them as panic attacks until I read this) and I knew I had them when you went on about the tubes etc. About 4 years ago, I was in Prague (I don't live there but go every summer cause I was there for 12 years) and I'd always use the tube there. And one summer I started having these panic attacks as you said every time I were to go on one. I don't know why because I'd always use it before but just that summer I had so many problems with it. I felt so pathetic tbh and just wanted to be normal again. Every time I were to go on, I felt like I was gonna faint, my heart would start beating super fast and I felt so vulnerable and everything. I kept telling myself "you're not gonna die from this, its not the end of the world, EVERYONE travels like this" but I just kept freaking out. I just wanted to cry there and never get on but I had to because I was always with someone – my friends or my family and I didn't even tell them about it cause they'd think I'm a drama queen or something. One time I really thought I couldn't make it and just wanted to get the f out of there and walk home or something. It was so bad.. but then it stopped all of a sudden. I don't know why, if it was that I got over it or something but I'm glad it did. Another time when I'd have constant attacks would be when I was in the same situation – as you explained – same place, same person etc. I was about 13 and for a year I went to a different school. My form teacher (I had him for most subjects too) was just horrible, I felt like he hated me, he wasn't a nice person, always shouting at me etc. he was just so mean to everyone. I mean he couldn't do anything to me but all of a sudden I was so scared. Every time I was getting dropped off to go to school (it was almost every day!), the whole ride I was thinking about it and panicking, and when I would get close to the school, I'd start shaking and feel sick, dizzy and hyperventilate and so my dad had to take me home. It happened several times, sometimes I'd feel so sick I wouldn't want to eat etc. It got pretty bad and I didn't even tell my parents, I dunno why. But I just kept telling myself to get over it and go there, so I did. It toned down later on and I was okay, but I changed schools anyway. I didn't have any panic attacks ever since, and I'm glad. It must've been some 'teenage' thing for me I don't know. Lol, this was quite a long comment, but I thought I'd share my stories since you shared yours. I'm glad yours are getting better and good for you that you went on the London Eye! I used to be scared of heights a lot, but that's a different story, I always try to overcome my fears in a way and just get over it and I feel awesome after that. I wish I could help you more, but I'm sure you will be fine. I realized that sharing things with people helps a lot though. xxx

  146. Lora

    Hi Zoe, I'm going to be honest when I admit that I can't say I've ever experienced a panic attack or even given them much of a real thought- and in fact, I have skipped over the article when I was checking your blog before. But just yesterday, a close friend of mine told me that she was experiencing panic attacks, so I of course, had to read this. It was really insightful, and I'm definitely going to be sharing this post with her. This has really clarified things for me and I hope it does so with her as well. Thank you as always for a wonderful, well-written post. :)

  147. Chloe

    This post has made me feel so much better about my panic attacks. I missed half of year 10 and nearly all of year 11, and it makes me feel 'normal' in away to know im not alone in suffering from them. I think alot more people need to understand that just because you have panic attacks doesn't mean that you aint normal. The comments on here to also make me feel alot more happier about myself and more confident to get on with life, without worrying when my next attack will be. Thank you zoe! xxxo

  148. Lily

    Thank you for this post! I've never had panic attacks so i can't imagine how scary they must be, but you're so brave for sharing this with us!
    Also, i just wanted to say that i've had some CBT on the NHS and, although it wasn't for panic attacks, it was sooo helpful for me :)
    hope you're well
    Lily xoxo

  149. Thakyou so much for the advice…. my best friend has suffered from panic attacks for 8 years…whenever i am with her when she has one i fell really bad as i cant help. Now I can so thankyou :)
    http://daniellejadee13.blogspot.com

  150. Holly

    Such a good post. I too suffer from pretty extreme panic attacks. Seeing the amount of people who have responded to your post is amazing! I've suffered with panic attacks off and on for about ten years. I am currently going through a rough patch where my attacks have been more frequent and more intense. Driving from my house to my university is an excruciating experience, and I live about ten block from it. Grocery shopping, going to the mall, going to the gym, going to school…these are all things that have been made pretty uncomfortable for me. One thing you said that really struck a chord with me was the "filing cabinet" analogy. This is so true!! I bought a pair of riding pants a few months ago, preceded to have a horrible attack while wearing them, and now I don't like wearing them because when I do it is all I can think about. Ridiculous…I know, but it's like those of us who suffer from these attacks are trying so hard to leave the reminders and the memories of the attacks in the past that anything that reminds us of them becomes a negative thing. Another thing you talked about that really hit home was the agoraphobia. I have this secret, terrifying fear that I could become one someday. I fight so hard to force myself out of the house to do the things I must, but I am worried that one day I will be exhausted from the fight and just decide to stay home….forever. I am definitely going to check out the book you recommended. Maybe ask for it for christmas, ha.

    This has been one of the best blog posts I have ever read. To hear about someones panic attacks, especially ones that sound as bad as mine, it relieving. No one is alone dealing with this, but there are days where you have never felt more abandoned because of this anxiety. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! You are gorgeous, smart, funny, and incredibly kind and I think you are so honest and brave for sharing this. I'd love to see more posts like this!

    Thank you, Zoe.

    PS- I have a blog, Pretty Little Things. Stop by and say hi if you have an anxious moment! I'm sure I'll be right there with ya'!

  151. I have actually learnt so much from this post and all the comments, so just wanted to say thank you xxx

  152. Ivy

    This really made me tear up a bit just because you've said everything ive been thinking. Ive suffered from anxiety since I was six so thats ten years now. Im on medication but really I dont think its doing anything for me. Im now being home schooled because the thought of school terrifies me. I just want to say a massive thankyou. I would never think someone as gorgeous and confident as you would suffer from this horrible thing. It really gives me comfort knowing that somewhere out here, someone is feeling the same things im feeling. Again thankyou.

  153. Lischen

    Wow! That was so impressive and so brave from you to write this! You can be really proud of you!
    I hope for you this will end sometime…

    xxx

  154. SRees42

    I could have written your post. I am 22 and have been suffering from the exact same anxieties as you since I was about 17 when my friend and I were followed by a drunk man in town at night. We had no way of getting home and it was the most awful feeling. I've gone through the same fights in my own head when I get invited out with friends, panicking and then ruining the nights (and I feel, straining friendships) because I feel so trapped and my friends just don't understand. I have had CBT and lots of counselling. The CBT helped me the most althought it was a challenge as I ddi exposure which means placing yourself in the situations that you're scared from. It didn't completely cure me but it 'took the edge off' as you could say. It's so refreshing (in a way) to hear about someone my own age, who is so NORMAL :) as I feel like a complete weirdo and so alone in my problem. Really hope the CBT helps you. Best of luck!

  155. becky.

    thank you so much for writing this. both me and my best friend suffer from panic attacks. from my experience, watching her having a panic attack is just as bad as having one myself, because i know exactly how she's feeling and it brings back awful memories.
    for a while i was having panic attack after panic attack for a good few days. i think it might have been a whole week actually. i saw doctors and a&e staff so often but, because i calmed down when i thought they were gonna make me better, they always said nothing was wrong with me and sent me home. it was horrible. i felt like i'd have to go through this forever, and that i was a burden to my parents because i'd keep them up all night and they couldn't go to work the next day, and all i could think was that maybe suicide was an option.
    i was put on really strong sleeping medication to try and get back into a regular routine so i could go back to school and that helped a lot. my attacks are a lot less frequent now but i have stupid routines from the sleeping meds, like i can't eat after 8pm or i have to go to bed before midnight, and i can't have naps during the day.
    again, thank you for writing this. to know that other people understand what i go through is just amazing. other than my family and my best friend, nobody i know has any idea about how to react to a person having a panic attack and don't understand why they have them, and i think it's fantastic that you're spreading the word to all of your followers. xx

  156. Kirsten

    I've only been getting them within the last couple of years, co-incidentally around the same time I went on the pill. I had a panic attack the other night at a concert. It was horrible because I'd been looking forward to it and then Mr Panic Attack comes along and ruins it :(

  157. Esther

    Hi Zoe

    Well done for broaching what is a difficult thing to admit especially to people who at first will read your blog and not understand the first thing about panic attacks. Hopefully if they've taken the time to read this post they will now have a better understanding.

    I have suffered from panic attacks and they are not pleasant AT ALL! Most of mine occur at night, which for some people who might say thats better than in the day and in public. Yes I might agree, but when it takes place it feels like morning will never arrive, what might be 10 mins or an hour of panic feels like forever when you are suffering on your own. It is very frightening and you feel totally out of control of your mind.

    I never know when one will happen, it can be out of the blue when I have nothing on my mind at all but if I sense a certain amount of stress is building up over other things then I take certain steps to alleviate any possible attacks. Relaxing my breathing, plugging into my ipod and listening to a relaxation track, I have found some on itunes that are very good. Removing any potential stressful situations, not always easy to do but if too much is happening in one day I try and change my plans around. Steer clear of alcohol or foods which have more of an impact on your body i.e. keeping you awake because of digesting them.

    These are just a few things that help me but I really feel for you guys who suffer from these things frequently and I only hope that Zoe's post can provide some helpful advice.

    Esther xxox

  158. Miri_X

    Thanks for taking the time to write this. I have never really understood panic attacks before but now I feel like I do (well definitely a bit more than before!) xx

  159. Emily

    Thank you so much for posting this. I'm currently watching someone extremely close to me go through something terrible that has brought on panic attacks. Although I suffer myself, not as bad as this. I may even show her this post, in the hope it helps. It has given me the knowledge to help her. Thank you so much Zoe. Be proud of yourself and what you are achieving. You sound like you handling this well and not letting it control your life. xxx

  160. Hi Zoe! It has been a great blog this one. I don't really know if I suffer from panic attacks but I used to faint a lot of times. I remember once watching a movie in which the actors were taking drugs and I fainted. I also fainted when a friend was telling me how to do a tourniquet. She was just telling and I wasn't watching anything at that time, but just thinking about that made me feel so bad that I fainted.
    I also feel bad when I drink alcohol, the next day my hurt beats a lot faster.
    Have you noticed things like this? Have you ever fainted because of a panic attack?

  161. Zoe

    I have suffered with panic attacks from when I was a young teenager and it really affected me going to school at the time. I think people can really fail to understand but I found a brilliant book and it gave my coping strategies for when I did have panic. I am still a pretty anxious person and I guess I am going to have to accept that but it is nice to feel like I am in control now and that anxiety isn't taking over my life.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, it means a lot to me when I can identify with other people and realise I am not alone.

  162. B

    Hey, I'm a girl from Belgium (sorry if my english is bad). I've been following your posts on youtube and blog for a while now and I just love the way you are, as a person. You seem so confident and certainly not insecure! It surprised me to see you also suffer from panic attacks. Like a lot of people here, I suffer from them too. It completely changed the way I am. It's very hard to cope with… Your advice on what to do and what not to do is so helpfull for a lot of people. I think of it the exact same way.

    My biggest problem is that my panic attacks got more and more severe. First I had them when I had to take the bus. Then any public transportation didn't go well. Then when I went to café's or bars, cinéma, school, … AND THEN it got so bad I even had them in my bed before I went to sleep… I thought to myself, now I don't have any place were I can feel safe, not even home.. I almost got into a depression because of that, it was so awfull. And people, the best advice for you, if you get in a situation like me, just try to make a 'click' in your head. It's NOT going to kill you, it's just in your head, YOU are the only one who can make sure you don't get it, if you fight for it, you can beat it!

    I'm doing a lot better now, and all because of myself. I went to special doctors for this, talked to a lot of people, but most of all they don't understood, because they never had it themselves. It helps when you talk about it, then you won't feel alone. But the most important thing that can beat it is yourself. To everyone who has panic attacks: STAY BRAVE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF YOU, FEEL CONFIDENT, YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU'RE NOT ALONE, YOU CAN BEAT THIS!

    And a lot of respect for you, Zoe, for helping a lot of people and supporting them with your soothing and empowering words! There aren't enough people like you on the world!

  163. Jorien

    So great you share this:) Happily enough I'm not suffering panick attacks but I can totally imagine how it feels of panicking and losing control over you own body. I had a robbery training lately (I work in a supermarket and last months supermarkets are robbed more and more in the area where I live). We had a roleplaying game and I was choosen to be the victim, the trainers were playing the robbers. I couldn't see them, only hear them and had to obey their orders. Unless you know it's a training, your body reacts in a different way than expect. My breath went faster and faster and even my collegues told me they could see the fear in my eyes: again, it was a training!

    So I may not suffer panick attacks, but it's nice to read how you can control the panicking.

    Xx Jorien

  164. Becky

    This really moved me, I almost cried. It's such a relief to realise that you aren't alone. I started having panic attacks a few years ago because of a relationship I had with a friend and as a result of the way I was treated by them I now have panic attacks during confrontation, paticularly over text and when any plans clash or if I'm going to be in a situation where I'll be sleeping over somewhere. I also have them when I'm with people that I don't feel "safe" around. They are horrible and I don't think people understand just how horrible and traumatic they are.
    I completely identify and sympathise with your house party story, it sounded horrific. Recently, I was at a house party and I actually had to get my brother to pick me up, there were so many people that I felt unsafe around and who I felt were judging me and a girl jumped out of a second storey window breaking her hip. Now I just can't face the thought of being in that situation again, I literally can't at least not for now. Thankyou so much for making me feel like there are people like me out there, and explaining it for others.

  165. I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks as well. I know how frustrating it is to deal with.. many friendships have been lost due to people not understanding how bad it effects me. Because people think that I am just avoiding them or I do not care. I havent been to the movies in years because i dont like to be confined to watch it, I do not even like going to the hair dressers more than once a year because i do not like being confined in a chair incase i have to go due to a panic attack. Its embarrassing and most of all frustrating!!!
    I have been trying to get better with it and im the same as you with taking my own car or going with people that understand my situation.
    The few things that have helped me are ive been taking magnesium supplement. I read somewhere that magnesium is a natural calming supplement and It has been helping me to relax alot.
    And also thank you for this its good too know that we are all not alone in this and we can also support each other because like you said if you have never had a panic attack then you have no idea!

    Thanks!!

  166. I can completely sympathise with you on this subject. I have suffered with panic attacks in the past but luckily haven't had one for a few years now. My 'trigger' as I like to call it was when I went to work or when I saw a certain person. I was threatened my a colleague at work and he made my life hell, he made me do things I didnt want to do and told me he would hurt me if I didnt. I was too scared to stand up to him so did the things he told me to and suffered with panic attacks straight after. Eventually it got so bad that I would have regular panic attacks on my way to work on the days that I knew he would be there and I would also have a panic attack as soon as I saw him. Eventually I decided enough was enough and told my manager what this person had been making me do and he was sacked. The panic attacks didnt stop though… Just a few weeks after this person was sacked a french customer kept giving me bother, following me around the shop and asking me to meet him after work saying he would be waiting for me in the car park. I had to lie about what time I was finishing to trick him in to getting there too late and at a time I would have already left. It got to the point where my till at work had to be 'guarded' by security while the customer was in the shop cos he just wouldnt leave me alone. The manager said he would ban the customer from the shop but senior management wouldnt let him as he was a very big customer and spent alot of money with the company. Eventually it got so bad (his car being there every time I left work and me having to be escorted to the bus stop or getting a lift home) that I left my job and thankfully the panic attacks stopped. One little bit of advice… brown paper bags! I carried them every where with me when I suffered from the attacks and as soon as I felt one coming on I would breathe into the bag and it would help regulate my breathing and calm me down. If you stuggle to find a shop that sell brown paper bags try your local supermarket, they usually have them in the fruit and veg section to put the mushrooms in! Thats where I got mine from because I couldnt find any anywhere else! I just want to say thank you to Zoella for writing this post and for explaining panic attacks in more detail for the people who perhaps didnt know how serious panic attacks actually are. My thoughts are with anybody who currently suffers from panic attacks. I would also just like to say that I absolutely love your blog Zoella! I find it so informative yet fun and you seem like a really lovely person! x

  167. Ensie

    Zoe, you're amazing.

  168. bcmead

    This was a really great post! I can really relate to a lot of it. I don't think I will ever forget my first panic attack, that was the worst fifteen minutes of my life, I thought I was having a heart attack or something. My heart was pounding so fast that my entire torso was shaking violently. I couldn't even comprehend what was going on, and my friend was just looking at me like I was losing my mind. I kind of thought that I was.
    What you were saying about similar situations having the same effect is definitely true for me. That was almost four years ago, I think, and now I can't do a lot of things I used to do with my friends simply because I'm scared to death I'll end up feeling that way again. It's happened so many times.

  169. Dena

    I commend you for writing this post, it was very brave and inspiring. Thank you for the information, I think I will look into hypnotherapy now since I also get anxiety when people get sick around me. Please do update if you do try CBT or hypnotherapy yourself. It is definitely nice to know there are others out there as well.

  170. How wonderful for you to share and post about this! Hugs and much appreciation for bringing awareness to this issue. I have been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and have been medicated for it in the past. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy I was able to go off of Lexapro and I haven't had a panic attack in about a year! I love that someone as glam as yourself would write about this to let us all know we're not alone and help remove the stigma. Thanks, Zoe!

  171. Xoxo D.

    You're amazing person Zoe. You have really big heart and I'm sure that many people who read this post will feel so much better. If you suffer from any kind of illness, it's very important to have somebody who understand you without any words. Who are near you all the time and take care of you. I don't have panic attacs but I suffer from migraine for more than 2 years. Tomorrow I have to visit neurologist because I have horrible headache for more than 3 weeks now. All the time, each day. Two weeks ago I woke up at 3 am and I have problem even with open my eyes. The pain was so hard. It was horrible because I'm living with my own. I had to go to the pharmacy and bought some pills. It was 3 am, I live in big city and I was scared. Seriously scared. I took a taxi and I went to the city centre. The guy who drive a taxi told me that his friend's daughter had migraine too and all doctors were sure that she has headache because of stress (the same as in my case) and then she went to neurologist. He disovered that she has a brain cancer. She started treatment and now she is healthy. But I'm very nervous right now.

    Don't think you are worst because of your pannic atacks! You should be proud of yourself that you try fight with it :) Many of my friends don't understand that sometimes I can't go with them to the pub or somewhere. They think that headache is nothing bad and one pill will help. One day I took 18 pills and what? Nothing. People should understand that many of us have very serious problems and sometimes we don't have enough power to fight with them. Take care of yourself Zoe :) You're the best :)

  172. i rarely suffer from panick attacks. but i do have axiety. i know exactly how you feel about set times and rushing places. i usually leave to get somewhere that gives me a bit of extra time to relax, but if i get somewhere too early i'll get anxious waiting around. i get anxious walking to class, before work, before bed if i stay up too late, and in social situations. i hate going to crowded places alone. when people question my decisions that are affected by my anxiety, it makes me more anxious. like you said, the best thing a person can do if a friend or someone is having a panick attack or anxiety is to be there and be quiet. things don't have to make sense at that moment.

  173. thanks zoe!! my friend suffers from panic attacks and i had never really understood them until i read this. thank you for sharing so much and putting this out there :)

  174. k8te

    This was so helpful thank you! x

  175. Peiyinn

    Thanks so much for posting this. I did have panic attack before.

  176. Swissy

    you explained it so well girl. I've also had panic attacks for about 10 years now. They used to be worse a couple of years ago though. I almost couldn't get out of the house. I thought I'd go crazy. And I was angry with myself for letting this anxiety take control over me.
    What helped me was doing sports (cardio) even if I hate it :) and I read a lot about it. And what, in my opinion, is the most effective thing is just to FACE the "scary" situations. I hated travelling by bus, train etc. I just went there nevertheless and even if I was sweating and shaking all the way, in the end I was glad I made it without fainting :) I'm facing anxiety everyday but I won't let it control me anymore. Ask yourself "what is the most horrible thing that could happen?" When you answer this, you'll see that the answer would be pretty unrealistic.
    Anyway, thanks for posting it. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one in the world who's suffering from it.

  177. Lini

    Thanks for sharing your experience! I'm sure this post can be helpful for a lot of people. A lot of people I heard talking about their anxiety disorder (I study psychology) said they still get panic attacks after psychotherapy for example. So for them it wasn't really about stopping the attacks but trying to identify signs that preluded the attack and being able to bear the attack. I really recommened seeing a professional (either psychologist or psychiatrist). I don't know much about the British medical system but in Germany your general doctor usually isn't trained for these things. CBT is known to have good effects when treating anxiety disorders like panic attacks. I wish you all the best!

    Lini X

  178. Amelia

    At the moment I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and I hate it because I feel like it's ruining my life, reading this has made me realize I'm not the only one out there. When you were talking about not going out places because of the dread you feel in case you panic, I feel the exact same way and I try to tell myself I will be okay but I do find it really hard to control myself. I don't think many people understand what it's like to suffer with anxiety or panic but this blog post has really covered everything to it. Thank you so much Zoe, you have gave me hope and I will definitely show this post to the people closest to me so they know how I feel, you couldn't of worded it better, thank you :)

  179. Josie

    Well done for raising awareness of this! I don't suffer from panic attacks personally, but know others that do and I know they get so embarrassed. But it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, we can't always control our own bodies. xx

  180. Hey Zoe, I have also suffered panic attacks for a long time (10 years) which started around a sick phobia when i was 11. I then associated eating with being sick with panic so stopped eating. Cue lots of people thinking i was anorexic etc etc. I missed a lot of school but was very proud of myself for managing to stay in the exam hall for all my exams. However, during sixth form i took a turn for the worse and was literally having panic attack after panic attack throughout the day and wouldn't leave the house. It was especially terrible as home had been my haven, safe from anxiety for so long and now that was being infiltrated too. It all felt very unfair. I then as a result of all the other shit became depressed. 4 years on from that i am now at college and can do all the things i never could do previously (stay over at friend's houses, go to the cinema, go on holiday etc) and although i've still got a long way to go i look back at how ill i was and can't believe how far i've come. I wanted to tell you briefly about how i experienced anxiety as you bravely shared your story with us. I wish people would be more understanding but shit happens. Lots of love xxxx

  181. I had my first panic attack a day before starting my final year of uni, as i'd never had one before I thought I was having a heart attack and literally forced my parents to call an ambulance!
    It sounds so silly now but I thought I was dying, and since that is one of my greatest fears it made the whole experience so much worse! Since then i've seen my GP who was VERY patronising and told me to breathe deeply next time.
    Your story is relevant to a lot of panic attack suffers and im sure a lot of them found it as comforting and helpful as I did!

  182. Beth

    Zoe, i sat and read this post this morning (and made myself 5 minutes late for work – but i just couldnt stop reading) and felt so emotional about it all, yet really comforted that someone else out there suffers the EXACT same things as me. Everything you explained, i have. And i have had since i can remember. I just agree with every word you said.. And as for the sick phobia? I also have developed the fear of anyone being sick around me, therefore i try to avoid nights out (as sad as it sounds).

    Such a lovely and helpful post – i really do think more needs to be done to raise awareness of this issue as many girls suffer in silence with this. I hate how the term 'panic attack' is thrown around with little meaning (for example when people say theyve had a panic attack over something in a jokey way…i don't find it funny whatsoever).. if they knew what it was like.. truth is, nobody can really understand truely how it feels unless they've suffered with them personally.

    I've recently done a little "how to survive a panic attack post" – so seeing yours pop up on my reading list really cheered me up – there really does need to be more help out there!

    Theres also a really good book called "Essential help for your nerves" (helped me no end through my exams) and i know Peter Andre is on Peirs Morgan's life stories this coming Saturday and he talks openly about his panic attacks :) So ill definitely be watching that :)

    Honestly, thankyou for such a lovely post, it's really good to know i'm not the only one.. and it's made my day that you've spoken so openly about it.
    (and well done for your trip on the London Eye – i can imagine that took some willpower getting on there!)

    Beth
    xxx

  183. Thanks for this, it was so brave of you to do this, inspired me to make a video! I have finally overcome my panic attacks about being sick at school…It was awful,one I was so upset i hit my parent when they tried to get me to go to the bus stop, htats when I had to sort myself out. what I found helped me was thinking to myself im only bringing more attention to myself by crying, hyperventilating ect. Im now going in year 10 without having attack in over a year :) xxx

  184. heidi

    What a fantastic post.

  185. What a well written post, Zoe. Emotional, thought-provoking and informative.

    I have suffered from panic attacks for a few years now, it came with a second bout of depression and took me by surprise. I was convinced people were watching me and judging me, which like you said, made things 100 times worse.

    It's so very hard to describe to people, that feeling where you actually think you are dying. You genuinely don't think it's going to stop and that you just won't be able to breathe normally again.

    Personally, I find when I am "down" I am more prone to them and I haven't had a "proper" one for quite some time now, although I certainly have a had a few mini ones.

    As for the Doctors and the NHS I have to agree with you. I actually wrote about my experiences with the NHS here – http://www.oh-panda.com/2011/07/antidepressants.html

    Don't go private straight away. Go back to the doctors and tell them you want CBT, don't be afraid to tell them what you want and why. You can always request to see a different doctor. In my case it wasn't until I found the right doctor that medication and therapy was really discussed properly. I was actually recommended that book too, but I was too afraid to read it. I know that sounds ridiculous but I was scared it would make things real and actually bring on a panic attack, y'know,kinda facing your fears. I may give it a go now though, I am in a better state of mind than I was before.

    I have posted personal posts numerous times on my blog and I am aware of how much courage this must have taken to post, but it is worth it, not only for therapy for yourself but because it will, has, helped others.

    Well done and thank you, Zoe :)

    Rebecca xx

  186. thank you so much for this post zoe. i, personally, am not somebody who suffers from panic attacks but i do suffer from quite bad anxiety and paranoia and whilst that is not exactly the same, it can stress me out and make me turn down doing things i want to do because i don't think i can handle it. however hearing about how incredibly brave you are and what you go through is so inspirational and reminds me that i am not alone (something that i was very worried about before) and makes me feel so much better. thanks again :) XXX

  187. You are amazing and truly an inspiration<3

  188. Wow, I loved this! I suffer from panic attacks myself, for the last 4years or so and reading this post was seriously like hearing my own thoughts. You summed up exactly how I feel so superbly.It feels amazing to read this and all the other comments and know that I am not the only one because I often feel like my attacks make me 'different' or 'weird'! But we are not alone, and we are normal!

    My best tips would be, like you mentioned…stay in the present! If you are feeling panicky about going on a bus days before the trip(like I always do) remind yourself that you are ok NOW! Do this all the way through the trip and you will be find!

    Get out of your head and into your body. When panicking concentrate on your breath or on different body parts.

    Be aware of what is happening and know that it will pass. Say 'my heart is racing, but its ok, im just feeling a bit panicked and it will pass, Im not going to die.'

    Feel the fear and do it anyway!

    Never be disappointed in yourself if you panic and it forces you not to be able to do something, be kind to yourself and it will help you feel better!!

  189. Thank you for posting this, I can relate on so many levels, its so comforting to know someone else out there feels similar to how i feel at times. I know we will get over this "anxiety phase" and it will soon be just a bad memory which shaped us into much stronger women! xox

  190. i get anxiety attacks (i have social anxiety disorder), which are less intense than panic attacks, but i still do experience some of the same symptoms. i take citalopram for it and it helps a lot. it's an antidepressant, but curbs anxiety/panic, because that often brings on depression. what brings it on for me are busy days at work when i'm the only one there (i'm afraid a customer will think i'm going too slow and yell at me), meeting new people, trying new, unfamiliar things and driving (i literally CANNOT drive, and i'm 21). driving is the one thiong that brings on a full blown panic attack. i get a feeling like something is going to happen and i will die or be the cuse of someone else dying; my brain feels like it's sliding down my head like soup. it's such a weird feeling. i hate it. and people think i choose it. they think i'd rather not be able to jump in a car and come and go as i please. i've even been accused of being lazy. i hate having to bike everywhere in december, and i get so angry when i think how if i could drive, an errand would take 20 minutes, but since i have to bike, one errand becomes a whole day event. i get nothing done unless i rely on my mum at 21 years old.
    i've gotten an anxiety attack at a party too. i was 19 and my friend was graduating, so his sister threw him a party (small kickback really). there was alcohol and hookah, which were fine to me, but then his sister (who is also a mother) came out of the room and busted out a bag of cocaine. i freaked out beyond belief, but it was an internal attack. no one knew i was panicking. i got up and just walked all the way home, i was so freaked out that i was around people who were into that.
    this post has got me thinking maybe i should see a therapist or a psychiatrist and really get my feelings out to a professional.
    you should look into that too, zoe :)

  191. Natalie

    Zoe, thank you! This has really helped me. I had 2 panic attacks a few months back while I was on a trial for an apprenticeship. Unfortunately, because I had 2 panic attacks within the space on an hour, they refused to take me on and sent me home. I had one panic attack when it was my first day starting at my college, it lasted not for long but it was very scary. So, thank you for this, I have been waiting for someone to write about it, just so I could understand it a little more. Thanks, Zoe, you are truly a star!

    Natalie xx

  192. Beth

    Reading this is so weird, as mine started in pretty much exactly the same way…and I also know, as a person who has panic attacks and anxiety, that it must be really hard telling the world about them. I don't tell anyone, because I don't want it to define me, but this makes things a lot harder.

    I think it's brilliant that you managed to get on the London Eye!! :D It's most definitely one of the best ways to try to deal with it – try not to let it stop you in any way. I try to think that the worst that can happen is I'm going to pass out or throw up in front of a massive load of people…and try to remember that there are people who have to deal with a lot worse than that in life.

    There are times when I don't feel so bad and then others where it comes back with a vengance and I have absolutely zero tolerance or energy.

    Thank you for such an honest post – I really do think you're amazing and to see a really successful blogger such as yourself talking about your struggle is pretty inspirational…

    <3 xxx

  193. fay

    Hey Buddy are looking for young people aged 16 — 25 who suffer from Anxiety for a BBC3 documentary. Please contact : Fayola@heybuddytv.co.uk
    or call the office on 0207 502 5653. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE consider being involved we can really help to shed some light on this condition.

  194. CJW

    I have a close friend who suffers from panic attacks/anxiety and Have sent her a link to this post. Thank you. CJW x

  195. sammycx

    oh my gosh this post is so useful!i have a huge phobia of being sick and others being sick. I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and a girl on my table kept complaining she felt sick and it was making me so nervous I suddenly became overwelmed by a feeling of panic and i had to go to the bathroom to calm down. i've never had panic attack but i think i'm close to having one, its horrible :(

    <3

  196. Such a well written post. I dont suffer myself with panic attacks but I have friends that do. Reading this has given me more of an insight to what they go through and how I can help if I am there with them when an attack hits.

    xx

  197. This is such a great post! As somebody who suffers from panic attacks, I know exactly how you feel and can relate to everything you've said. I always panic as soon as I am anywhere that is too noisy or too crowded, which, like you said, always gets in the way of socialising with friends. This time of year is particularly difficult as I have to avoid the shops altogether … thank goodness for the internet!

    Well done, and keep up the good work!

    Kerry
    xxx

  198. Em.

    I have to thank you for this post, I can really understand you as I suffer from panic attacks myself.
    It all started 6 moths ago and I've been miserable since then. Reading your post made me realize that it all started from a precise moment, an experience I stored in my brain and never looked back at.
    Every time I am in a similar situation, my body reacts and I feel dizzy, want to come home and be safe. What does help me in these situations?Focusing on something else. I usually read a book when I'm on the train, it really calms me down.
    Hope it gets better, now I know I'm not alone :)
    xo

  199. Amber

    I'm glad you wrote this post! I suffer with panic attacks and sometimes it can feel so silly but it's nice to know someone else feels the same! I get them going to pubs too and being around drunk people, and going out in general! Thank you, xx

  200. Georgia

    I have panic attacks over things that involve sick or possible sick. I know how you feel about that. It gets out of hand sometimes (I now panic at the thought of Disney land because once at a crap fun fair someone was sick on a ride). Erm for a while I couldn't go to mcdonalds because my friend told me that she was in there ad someone was sick on the table :s.

    I wanted to say something meaningful but everyone else has already said everything I wanted to. This post was amazing and will really help people do thank you for writing.

    Also I never knew anyone else who can't go out on nights out because of panic attacks. It has made me feel more normal because I also can't go out. The pub I'm ok with at the moment because I haven't seen anyone sick in y little pub. But if they even so much as retched I wouldn't be able to go back. :s

    Xxxx

  201. Aw sweet heart…this sounds so terrible. I've had anxiety/panic attacks before and it really is the worst feeling in the world. Thankfully they have only been in times that I was really really upset/stressed out…like when I lost someone close to me. I couldn't imagine having to deal with it on a daily basis. I think you are very brave to deal with this very debilitating problem the way you have. Good luck…I know that yoga and just working out in general does wonders for people with this disorder. I work at a gym so I've seen the changes it makes in their lives. Love you! xo

  202. I admire your bravery with putting this post up. I know that your candid words will really help people who suffer from panic attacks and those who aren't familiar with them. Well done you! :)

  203. I cant believe I stumbled upon this post. It is exactly what i needed to read, I needed to see that people just like me go through this every day. it doesn't matter how old you are or what other people think you're like. I suffer from anxiety, not necessarily panic attacks, but I over analyze every situation i am put in. I have stopped going to certain restaurants because i know the layout will force me to walk right in the middle and have everyone stare at me. I cant go to the library at school without talking myself into how much i need the time to study in peace. I have more of a social anxiety, but it is definitely not limited to that. I feel as if everything stresses me, from seeing a scary movie preview on the television, to doing homework and knowing i got a question wrong. The anxiety creeps up on you at the strangest times, and I am glad to know i'm not alone. thank you so much!

  204. Imke

    as far as i know, i never suffered from panic attacks, but reading this i really felt with you. this is your most personal post ever and it's also your best :)
    i admire how distanced you can now see your problem and try to fix it.
    xx

  205. Thank you so much for all of this, i along with many others i believe extremly appriciate this and can agree that it is very useful! you are such an amazing person and you have already helped so many people. I've had about 3 panic attacks before, 2 on the bus whilst rushing and 1 after a very steamy shower. I usually become very lightheaded, pale, dizzy, sick, SWEATY, scared and the place around me becomes a lot louder and HAVE to sit despite being on a crowded bus, close my eyes and keep my head down. It's a scary experience and everytime i get on a crowded bus i get a sickening feeling in my stomach and become very anxious about my surroundings but havent had a attack in about 2 months. Funnily enough at the time i had no idea that i was having a panic attack and actually didn't really know what one was untill i mentioned it to a friend who is a sufferer and she told me it could be anxiety and panic attacks. At the time i tried to search up things about it on the internet and couldn't find out anything, i only wish i'd had this then. Once again thank you so much for this post, also love your youtube videos zoe, such a inspiration xxxxxxxxx

  206. Coley

    wow alot of comments on here :) I suffered from these alot but thankly (touch wood) im doing well! I totally agree with you that people don't really understand as its something they have never experience its hard for them to sometimes be understanding. Its nice to hear your story as I dont feel so alone.

    Also wanted to say I love you! ……you and sprinkle of glitter = amazing :)

    If you get a chance could you please check out my blog?

    lOTS OF LOVE XXXX

  207. Thank you for posting this Zoe. I have suffered from panic attacks for many years now. It is the most horrible thing I can imagine. I was shopping for Christmas gifts the other day, and found some really good deals, but then all of a sudden for no reason I started to have a panic attack. I had to throw everything down and run to the bathroom, try to compose myself long enough to make a run out of the store, to my car, and then straight home. Although probably no one even noticed, I felt like all eyes were on me and that just makes it worse…everytime.

  208. es-jay

    Hey Zoe, I think it's great that you've bit the bullet and spoken about something so personal. I really think this will help others to recognise a panic attack and even help another that may be having one

    I went through a traumatic incident a few years back and remember regularly suffering panic attacks when i came into a similar situation or even ate, or smelt or heard something that remotely reminded me of that situation

    I was prescribed lots of medication inclluding diazepam and lorazepam but the thing that helped me overcome it the most, as hard as it sounds, was to just not be afraid of it, I stopped going to places expecting to have an attack and simply thought if I have one, so be it, but I was prepared.

    love you and your blog and absolutely love that you've opened up but ur personal experiences and given us another bit of an insight into what make you you…

    Thanks again

    xoxxox

  209. I found this post so calming.
    I've been suffering from panic attacks for a year now. Although when i was in high school, i had them, but never thought much of it, as it was only when i got on a school bus. Being silly, i told myself that i was being silly and would wait for an hour after school to get a local bus rather than one from my school.

    When i have mine, i often start to have body seizures and speech problems. The first time it happened i was twitching uncontrollably and unable to form words for around 45 mins because i didn't understand what was happening. When i was run down a few months ago they were at their worst. I didn't go into college for nearly a month, as the i'd twitch and my body would shake and my back would tense up, i'd feel light headed and extremely unsafe.

    I went to see my Gp, and they sent me to a Mental health assessment to see if i could be given medication for anti-depressant to calm me down, as i was only 16 at the time and different health problems that run through my family meant i could't take a form of medication they could offer. But when i started accepting what was happening to me on a regular bases i started getting back to normal.

    I would get them when i was overcome with extreme emotion which meant being 'close' with my boyfriend was sometimes difficult, but he was understanding and helped me so much. Or when something was funny, and laughing too much would set them off. I still get them quite frequently, and i once i know that it's starting i start to panic and it just spirals out of control. But i've found that i can calm down a lot quicker, just by breathing slowly and drinking water.

    It does take me a while to feel normal again if i haven't been to sleep as you said, it feels like running a marathon.

    I've also been in a situation where noone had any idea what was happening to me, and coming into my friends bedroom to check on me every few minuets and having panic attack after panic attack because i couldn't tell them that i was fine and being on my own would help. It's so frustrating, and i really like this post.
    It makes me feel much better as i know that there are people who feel the same, and are affected by panic attacks as much or maybe more so than me.

    Thankyou xo

  210. I have a phobia of being sick and so much that I can't even post because I would start to feel panicky. I've always had it and why I don't drink and stuff. This was such a well written and honest post and it really has made an impact on me as a sufferer <3.

    xoxo

  211. i suffer from SEVERE panic attacks and i'm going to a psychiatrist for my disorder at the moment, so i kno exactly what you mean. it brought me to tears when i was reading this post because FINALLY someone understands. everyone around me thinks that i'm just overreacting or "worrying too much" and all that, but it's just…the body reacts this way. and its scary. thank you so much for writing this. i wouldve never thought that you suffered from panic attacks but this post helps me a lot.

    i could never articulate what i felt and still feel when i get panic attacks and you explained everything out so concisely and im going to use your explanations on others so they can understand me better.

    something my psychiatrist said that is tested and "proven" is to breathe in for 4 seconds, then breathe out 7 seconds (for this specific amount of seconds). this calms the brain down. honestly this works sometimes for me. i think im just too stubborn to do it, but im just writing that out in case anyone else wants to try it. it may help :)

    i'll try out what you suggested. thank you again zoe :)

  212. Huda

    thank you for this in-depth, researched and well thought out post. I work with many diverse clients and one of them has anxiety/panic attack around most things, so this will be of great help for me to better understand and help her.

  213. Thank you so much for writing this post! It is so nice to know that we are not alone and there are others who have the same problem. I get the same way with airplanes:( It is so sad because I have such a fear of flying that every time I book a flight I either run off the plane before it takes off or I am so uncomfortable the entire flight that once it is finished I take a few days recovering! It is SO exhausting!! You are so brave to write this post and for sharing your story! I have spent so many hours of my life reading books/taking to people. It is so crazy the way our brains work and how our thoughts can control us so much! I can NOT stand when people tell me to Relax and Calm down when I am going through them, especially on the airplane!!!! There literally is NO escape! Anyways just wanted to thank you and share my story, you are so great! xx

  214. Thank you for being brave enough to share this with your followers. Really appreciate your honesty and great advice!

  215. OH dear!!!! this blog post is amazing! I do have a major problem with ANXIETY! I only had a panic attack few times in my life time! but after that happened now i have to deal with increased anxiety & adrenalin, every single day, mainly after drinking loads of coffee ( that i love so much and will never stop drinking it) or after a big night out my anxiety is sooo bad, but i learned that you can actualy never die from that huge fear you feel, I read loads of books and talked to loads of people, apparently panic attacks are actually good for your heart cause it works like a good exercise and makes your heart muscles stronger, also your heart is capable to beat over 200b/p and stay healthy & when panic attack lasts only 5-10 min, its absolutely nothing to your heart, and nothing could ever happen to you! Great blog!

    http://vasare.wordpress.com/

  216. Thank you for this post, Zoe! I used to have panic attacks 2010. Literally all the time. I find relaxing music very helpful and autogenic training.
    xx

  217. i have never had a panic attack before that i know of but the other week i went to the dentist (which i am usually not too bothered about) and there was a new dentist and i had to have a filling, when he numbed my mouth i felt like he hadn't done it properly, so when he got the drill thingy out i panicked and went very warm. i then started going light headed and started blacking out which made it worse so i stopped him and couldn't explain why. it was strange. but this has helped! thank you!! you are so brave xxxx

  218. I've never experienced a panic attack myself or anyone else having one but I've still found this post fascinating, well done for being so strong & not letting your attacks dictate how you live your life xxxxxx

  219. im so glad you've written this. i've suffered minor ones ever since last year when i started secondary school. i've always been uncomfortable telling someone, but now you writing this has made me feel so much better, like im not alone. really love your blog!xx

  220. Becky

    Thank you for posting this Zoe, I do suffer from panic attacks quite a lot of the time but they're never seviere or serious but I get quite upset by the fact I have them. At one point they were really bad, then they got better and now they're not that good. Its such a serious time in my life with all of my exams and both of my parents have been in hospital over the past 3 months and its been a hard time for me, I'm only young so its a lot of weight on my shoulders. People seemed quite shocked that you suffer from panic attacks but I've read though the comments and so many people suffer from them too. Thank you so so so so much for posting about this, its really opened my eyes to them and hopefully this will help me for now, and in the future.
    I didn't know whether to post about my problems in a small box like this but this post was quite personal to you and me aswell if you get me? ah, thanks again Zoe:}

    imbeckykaty.blogspot.com

  221. Julie

    Oh Zoe, every single word of this post I related to completely. I had many of the same experiences as you, with the exact same triggers: drunk people, clubs, being in places I didn't know. And it was the most awful thing I have ever experienced. Like you, I would say no to going out with friends because I feared the unexpected – panicking and having no one there who understood, and the embarrassment of having people know I was panicking over going to the CINEMA. It got so bad that I couldn't go out for the day with friends, couldn't stay over in anyone elses house and would say no to everything, like you, not because I wanted to, but because I couldn't imagine putting myself in a situation where I would panic. This went on for a few years and I definitely lost friends over it, they probably thought I wasn't bothered seeing them, when being 'normal' was the thing I wanted the most. After years of panicking, I decided to go to a hypnotherapist – and was really sceptical. Not only would I have to admit I got panic attacks, but I would have to DISCUSS it with a complete stranger who I didn't know. But it was the best thing I ever did. I went to her a few times, and she explained exaclty what happens with hypnotherapy – it creates a safe plac for you go to when you feel you are about to panic and how exaclty you calm yourself when it happens. You choose a place that means something to you and count down (as if in a lift) to its entrance (I chose a room, lol) and as you countdown, you feel yourself calming, it is then that she helped me 'walk around' this calm place I had chosen…This all probably makes no sense, but its main aim is for you to create a 'safe place' and use it when you feel the onset of panic. While it took me a few goes to understand and use this method fully, it really did work. Not only have I not had a panic attack in years, but I have most definitely calmed down. Don't get me wrong, I am the BIGGEST panicker in the world, but hypnotherapy was my way in which to deal with it. I would definitely recommend giving it a shot, as it really did wonders for me. It mightn't get rid of them instantly, but it will definitely help over time.

    Rant over! Sorry its so long, I just know exactly what you're going through! x

  222. My best friend used to suffer from panic attacks, especially on the school bus and when she was home on her own, and I never knew how to help her. Like you, she wasn't much of a drinker, so I can imagine that at house parties it was a bit overwhelming.
    Her mum gave her a piece of blue tac so that whenever she felt anxious she'd play around with that, and I think that helped a lot.
    Thankfully, she's stopped having them, but this has been really helpful! I hope the cognitive behavioural techniques really help, I have a book on it and it even helps me when I have been nervous over work.

  223. Raquel

    I've suffered from panic attacks (the kind that lasts for hours) for a year before deciding to go see a doctor. At that point it was getting so bad that I kept getting them every day at night. What really helped me was a combo of CBT sessions and zoloft. It has worked wonders and I encourage you to try and find the treatment combination that works best for you. Even if sometimes we, panic attack sufferers, believe that nothing will be able to help us, that isn't true. It may take some time and it may not be easy, but you don't have to let anxiety rule your life even if it's true that it is always something that you must be aware of in order to learn to control it.

  224. Claire

    This meant a lot to me, thanks for writing it. Cried a lot, feeling a lot of what you have felt. Thank you much, dear. x

  225. Hi Zoe
    I just wanted to start by saying thank you for posting this post,it has helped me realize that i'm not alone.

    I believe my first panic attack was when I was in year 10, doing a geography exam (taking it a year early)The minute I stepped in I didn't feel right it felt as if everyone was staring at me, and when sat down in my seat things proceeded to get worse, instead of just put my hand up and ask for help I carried on(I didn't want to risk falling the exam). The exam was 1hour 30mins long and after about an hour I started shaking, i dropped my pen several times and uncontrollably started crying – to make matters worst I happened to be sat right in the middle of the exam hall and could hear people huffing and puffing at me and looking up at me with looks of disgust.
    After this is was aware that people were looking at me, and for some reason I could not control my breathing it was becoming so fast I could no catch my breath. In the end I gave in put my hand up and literally ran out of the exam hall, once out I collapsed on some steps.

    However things didn't end there I had an exam invigilator come up behind me and start shouting at me that I was not allowed to leave the room, at this point unlike you I could not hear anything,my hands were sweaty, my mouth was dry and I become very cold (bearing in mind the exam was in June). When the school nurse came she didn't have a clue what was going on which made me feel as if I really was going to die, it was only when my science teacher happened to walk past that she explained that I might be having a panic attack.

    Since then I have had at least 50 more panic attacks most taking place in exam-like situations.Thankfully I was able to move rooms to somewhere with less people and a open door. I believe my panic attacks happen in high-stress situations or in crowded areas – where I can hear people breathing.

    I am now in sixth form (first year, been 2 years since first attack)and have recently started having them again, due to exams happening in January. I find if i take my self out of the situation,try and slow my breathing down on my own and sometimes even breathing into a paper bag, I can overcome the panic attack. For me having a panic attack and/or crying in front of people is highly embarrassing, and being able to sort myself out on my own is an achievement. I know some people like to have someone there to help them out but I don't.

    Once again than you for posting this
    Love Molly x

  226. Amazing post – Thank you.
    I suffer from really bad panic attacks so I keep Rescue Remedy spray in my bag just in case. You can buy from most pharmacys and boots etc. It really helps me.
    Also drinking Chamomile tea regulary helps x

  227. Hi Zoe. Coincidentally I read this post just a couple of days before a friend, who also suffers from panic attacks, came to visit me. I think we were both nervous about it. Mostly, she could never describe how she feels within that moment and therefore I have never fully understood what she is going through and how I can help. I must admit there were times when I just wanted her to snap out of it so we can continue having a good time. Reading this really opened my eyes to what she was going through. I never didn't want to help, I just didn't know how to. Obivously we were both still a bit nervy about the weekend but actually she surprised us both and we had a lovely time. Night times are the worst but rather than being on edge as she began to suffer a small attack, I remained calm and was simply there for her as she worked through it. Honestly, I think it may have been a total disaster had I not read this first! I forwarded your post on to her a few days later, and she is actually considering starting a blog herself. Her doctor has told her that writing down her thoughts as she experiences them may help and she also wants to share them with other sufferers. Thank you so much for this article. Lx

    http://www.misslaurenalicephelan.blogspot.com

  228. Thank you for writing this post. I am sure it will help many people. I used to have really bad panic attacks which are very rare for me to experience now as I have learned how to deal with them, but I know just how awful they do feel. Take care my lovely. Always here if you feel :( x

  229. joanne

    I love reading your posts and ur not weird and annoying in any way. Very inspiring and nice of u to write ur experience out. thank u

  230. Ophelia

    I suffer from panic attacks as well. My situation is similar to yours, I get panic attacks when I'm around alcohol, crowds, and places where I can't leave easily. My attacks last for more than 20 minutes as well. Having anxiety can make you feel so alone, and it's hard when someone tells you that you just need to "suck it up and just do it." It's helpful for me to remember that this is not MY fault, and I didn't choose or cause this. Some techniques I like to use are…
    Deep, slow breathing
    Tensing something then relaxing (Squeezing my fists tight for 10 seconds then relaxing them)
    Finding and repeating a coping statement (I release judgement of myself.)

  231. This was amazing, thank you so much <3

  232. Bea

    I play the piano, and whenever I have to do a concert I always get unexplicably nervous, to a point in which I have about 90% of the symptoms you described below; ie rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, feeling dizzy, shivering, ringing in my ears, tingling in my hands and feet, cold flushes, wanting to go to the toilet and absolute rettot, which specially playing the piano are not useful at all because my hands shaking will mean that I'll get the notes wrong in front of everyone and will therefore feel even worse. But I've just realized I've got panic attacks myself! Because my parents are forcing me to go and not giving it importance,and I have a feeling that they never will, but they just won't seem to understand how awful it is. Anyway, thank you very very much! This really did help me out!! <3 Xx

  233. Hi everyone! I really wanted to take the time to let everyone know some things that have worked for me in hopes that they may help you as well. I have suffered from panic attacks for about 5 years. The first one I had was after a night of going out I literally woke up and experienced the most intense fear I have in all my life. I think the first think in dealing with panic attacks and anxiety is to truly educate yourself on what this is and get a licensed therapist or psychologist to assist you. For so long I believed I had a mental problem or was going crazy. It wasn't until I truly understood what it meant to panic and have anxiety that I found out the truth. Panic attacks and anxiety are a behavioral issue. Your body has been trained to react in an anxious way by activating the sympathetic nervous system. I believe the key to overcoming panic and anxiety is to retrain your brain to react in a calmer way. To do this you need to cultivate a calm environment. I strongly encourage anyone suffering from these terrible attacks to get involved in yoga and meditation. It teaches you how to breath correctly which is a big issue we panic attack sufferers have. We tend to breath very short and shallow breaths which cuts off the oxygen to the brain thus inducing a panic attack. Deep, long breaths in and out of the nose or in through the nose and out through the mouth help alot. Also, for me personally EMDR treatment has helped. It is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy and it is the only thing that has helped me overcome past traumas. Traumas can be anything big or small that causes you pain. And like Zoe said it is stored in a box in your brain so to speak. It's not until you deal with these traumas that you begin the path toward healing. I myself did not want to be put on pills for the rest of my life. I wanted to do the more holistic approach. So my three recommendations for learning to overcome panic/anxiety is EMDR or some other kind of cognitive behavioral treatment, YOGA (I prefer yoga classes at a studio because you learn the movement of breath through the body and correct breathing as well), and also meditation. Remember anxiety/panic is a behavior and it can be undone. I wish everyone the best and I hope that my information can help someone, somewhere. Namaste. –Chrissy–

  234. Phoebe

    Try Batch rescue remedy , its a herbal liquid you can put it in a bottle of water and sip the water during a nerve racking stiuation eg. interview , exam , enclosed spaces , ect or you could put i directly on your tongue if you get a flare up !!! Get it from boots or holland and barret !!!!

  235. Phoebe

    Also dont worry my sister is diabetic and once we had to call an abulance its really not that scarry becuase the abulance will do there upmost to make sure that everybody is ok

  236. Fiona

    You have the exact same problem as me, I relate to EVERY single word you said. thank you, now i know i'm not alone :)

  237. Panic attacks are all in the mind…best way to overcome this is to take control of your fears and face them head on. I had a bad spill of anxiety and I have suffered with panic attacks in the past. I've learned to overcome them by taking control and not worrying about things. We are all human and it's normal to stress out about things! hope this helps x

  238. This was an extremely interesting article, it's really awesome that you could share this kind of information with everyone. I had no idea about what panic attacks were or anything about them! Now I feel very educated about them and although I don't know anyone who has panic attacks and don't have them myself, incase I ever meet someone with them or end of having some myself I will know what to do!

  239. Omg Zoe I'm so glad there's someone else out there like me. I have really bad anxiety when I'm invited out to places, I don't know why I just make up stupid excuses not to go when I really want too. I see loads of people my age posting facebook pictures of them out at nightclubs and out having a laugh, and I feel I'm just stuck in, not doing anything and I feel like im a boring person because I don't like to get drunk every weekend. I'm 20 and when people invite me out I start thiking ohhhh no :( because I panic that there's going to be violence or something and I always end up looking after the person thats being sick and not being able to enjoy myself as much.

  240. Thank you so so so much for writing this, so useful! I have never had a panic attack but get very anxious due to becoming pretty ill from stress about my previous exams. I get very anxious about everything, and I know that it is completely not necessary. I panic about going out to a nice meal with friends, just incase I don't feel well, I panic about going to parties and out for drinks, and people feeling sick, and exams. I get myself in a state and just try to count things and breathe deeply. I'm even raising my heart rate writing this and thinking of all the things that I worry about. Everybody in my family thinks that I am just being silly when I go into hysteria when I have been invited out, but it is just me. I really hope that I learn to deal with this soon, before I really have to face my fears. I am just utterly relieved that there are other people who feel the same way as me. Thank you Zoe, you are such an inspiring and amazing person. So so so much love for you, Claire xxxx

  241. Thank you for this blog post. I've experience panic attacks before, oddly similar to yours (especially the sick/drunk/party/club) situations. My boyfriend has been in Afghan since October, and usually he's my pillar of support when I'm out, since he's been gone I've had more frequent attacks. This has reminded me that I can still be strong and deal with this. You have no idea how inspiring this was to read.

  242. DEAR ZOE
    I think it's so brave and extremely courageous of you to post this blog about your panic attacks. First of all, I would advise you to go see another Doc, cause I think therapy (CBT) and maybe even medication (I'm not a doctor, but modern medicine is really advanced in things like these) could really help you. Usually, these things are so buried and as you wrote "filed" in our brains, that we can only get better when we find the source of that behavior.

    I can completely understand what you're going through. For many years now, I've suffered from depression and as of this year from panic attacks, depersonalization and literally nervous breakdowns.
    It's so awful to feel like you can't go anywhere or do anything – I couldn't even go grocery shopping, like you've mentioned as well – without being scared that you feel like you're fainting or for me even feeling like I'm about to die.
    I do think it's only after reading your post, that I've realized that I suffer from panic attacks as well. I know well about my depression and my depersonalization but after reading your post and researching a little, it seems only logical.
    I once was feeling perfectly fine and went to the cinema with two friends. Shortly before the film ended, I was starting to feel sick, my legs were shaking and felt weak and I really felt like "wow. now something's really wrong."
    And all I wanted to do was go home and lie down or sit down. But when I got home, all by myself (cause stupidly enough I told my friends I was fine) I started hysterically crying and felt like I was about to die. I had an awful pain in my chest and felt like I couldn't breathe and couldn't keep myself on my feet anymore. Luckily, I have amazing friends. So I called one of my best friends up – cause she's a psychology major – she shortly after came over to my place and we drank tea and talked. She just nodded and let me talk and I was feeling much better very shortly afterwards.

    In conclusion I want to say, this crazy, loud, sad, complicated and scary world is too much for some of us. And even though everyone is aware of that, society still makes us feel like it's our fault, as if we wanted to be this way. But believe, if I could change that right now, I'd do anything for it. Anything. But I know it's gonna take hard work, it's gonna be a process. And I know I'm not alone. Thanks to you, thanks to all the great comments here.

    Don't EVER feel like there's no way out – there's always someone who can help. But you have to go ask for help.

    I wish you all the best, I think you're an amazing, inspiring and beautiful girl and you'll get through this. Let us know if you get CBT and how it goes :-)

    Much love
    Helen

  243. Jessie

    I suffered panic attacks from the age of 14/15yrs, it all started on a bus journey into town in the summer time. I put it down to eating something dodgey but it kept happening. My mam put the fear of God in me wen she said u betr get urself down to that doctor. I had no idea wat was wrong wit me n kept it to myself for a long time cos I thought there something terribly wrong wit me. It was only we I came across an article on panic attacks that I realised wat was happening.

    I was so worried bout goin bac to school cos I basically just stayed in my house for the summer wen it all began. I think having no choice over going bac to school helped cos I had no option but to get the bus every morning. Although there were plenty of times where I'd go home sick. I use to just concentrate on getting to the next bus stop n b like, now u made it, the next one isn't too far n eventually I'd get to my destination.

    It took about 6yrs for them to go. Occasionally I get them, wen least expected though so I think I'll always hav them but they r no way near as bad. I used to carry rescue remedy wit me wen I started working which helped. I hope u overcome ur panic attacks and feel for anyone that suffers them x

  244. Jessie

    I started having panic attacks from the age of 14/15yrs. It happened on a bus journey into town during the summer. I put it down to eating something dodgey but it kept on happening. My mam put the fear of God into me wen she said u betr get urself down to that doctor. So I kept it to myself for a long time cos I thought there was something terribly wrong wit me. It was only wen I came across an article about panic attacks that I realised wat it was.

    I dreaded goin bac to school after the summer cos I basically spent the whole time in my house. In a way I think it helped cos I had no option but to get the bus every morning. Although there were times wen I'd go home sick. I used to concentrate on getting to each bus stop, n b like, now I made it, the nxt one isn't too far n eventually I'd get to my destination.

    I used to get them everywhere especially buses, school, in church, shops, goin out, work, college, in bed, the list goes on.

    They didn't go for bout 6yrs. I occasionally get one wen least expected but no way near as bad. I used to always carry rescue remedy wit me wen I started working which helped. I hope u overcome ur panic attacks and feel for anyone who suffers them x

  245. I have to say thank you so much for posting this because it does open your eyes to this condition. I'm pretty sure I've never had a panic attack but I suffer from very extreme anxiety. It comes on if I have something big coming up like an interview, a night out and it also comes on for stupid things like sometimes if the phone rings (seems so silly). I seem to now occasionally suffer from extreme anxiety for no reason at all. I'll be sitting in my room and suddenly I will feel it well up in the pit of my stomach. It's like there should be something I'm worried about but don't know what it is. My body goes in to total worry mode without the reason for worry. When this happens I start to feel quite ill and find it very very hard to breathe to the point that at times I can't breathe at all. It's horrible feeling this way and it does ruin some experiences for me like looking forward to a night out with friends and sometimes accepting invites from friends and guys to go out. Your post has helped me see that it's not something I should have to just put up with on my own. I don't like going to the doctor and feel that if I go I am wasting their time and they are judging me for taking up an appointment but I feel now I should go and see somebody. Even if it's just for somebody to label what happens to me at least then I would know.
    Thank you Zoe xx

  246. It was really nice reading this. We all seem to be so levelheaded and together, don't we? Especially when you don't know another person; like the way people don't know anything about people on Youtube and yet people make rude comments about them, just for being in the public eye. Thank you for putting everything into perspective. None of us are perfect, we should support each other.

  247. I think it's really great that you addressed panic attacks on your blog. Having any kind of anxiety disorder is considered taboo and most people don't understand how much something like this takes out of your spirit and being. I have been suffering with this for quite a few years and have tried almost every approach and have found very little success. CBT helps but only to a certain point. It's not only about making emotional and behavioral changes but also about making lifestyle changes. I have given up caffeine, meat and most sugar and have seen some relief. I read a lot on the subject and educate myself as best as possible. The best thing above all things is to not define yourself by the disorder but accept that it is a part of your life. Drinking Chamomile is also a great remedy and a cold shower in the midst of a terrifying attack.

  248. Zoe! hi! definitely the best entry I've read on this subject. I suffered from panic attacks a couple of years ago and fortunately have disappeared over time … really do not know why .. but I'm glad. My first attack was so strong that I ended up in the hospital totally unable to speak or move … my body was so tense that did not respond. The following attacks were becoming less intense. However, neither my parents nor doctors could explain exactly what happened to me .. just told me it was my mind and that was something I invented. Now I read what you write I can understand better. Thank you very much! from Mexico

  249. Nicole

    I was hesitant to read this at first because for some reason thinking about panic attacks tend to set them off for me. I am sorry that you suffer from them but was also glad to know I am not the only one who gets them. When I went to the doctor she simply said a panic attack is different for everyone and I just need to learn to control it. For me that just made them worse. She also told my family that came with to talk to me while im having one. This is the worst thing anyone could do. I can't talk while I am experiencing one and people just kept asking questions then i would get so tired afterwords i could barley remember what happened. I found what helps for me is to be in a dark place and not try to talk at all. even if it is to tell someone to shut up.
    Thank you for the lovely post and hopefully they get better.

  250. Thank you so much for sharing…this has struck a chord with me as I have recently been signed off work with panic attacks. The doctor gave me some tablets which have slowed my heart rate down when panicking which has helped immensely so far. It was really hard going to the doctors and writing about this as its something I don't share a lot, but I found your post really inspirational and honest. :-) xx

    http://sparklyflamingo.blogspot.com/

  251. Kelly

    Thank you so much for doing this post Zoe and everyone who had commented. Its so nice to know that were not alone especially when this is still taboo subject that nonone ever really talks about it.
    I've suffered from panic attacks in the past but recently since having my son they have been coming back. What makes them so scary is it that I have no idea why they come on. I remember a few weeks ago I was sitting at home cuddling my new born baby then all of a sudden I had this over whelming feeling that I couldn't breath and that I needed to get out. It was so bad that I put my son down and was about to run into the street for someone to help me!
    Like you I also feel very let down by my GP. I went to see him this week and explained my situation and he just wrote out prescription for some pills. I felt even more let down when i went to get the pills and was told by the chemist that the pills may make me alot worse before i would get better something that wasnt explained by thr Dr and that scares me as i'm home alone with a baby alot. I'm now changing Drs hopeing that I will get abit more support and not just fobbed off with a box of pills.
    A peice of advise i was given was to just let it pass and keep telling yourself it will be over soon – sometimes it easier said then done. The best way i've found to calm myself down is to get away from what i'm doing or by going to a window and getting some air.
    Thank you for the book recomendation i'm going to get this. A book i've found helpful is Stop thinking and start living by Richard Carlson.
    I only advice I can offer is to talk to someone and not to bottle things up, Just knowing that your not alone or going crazy really can help.
    Please do a post and let us know how you get on with the CBT treatment.

    Kelly x

  252. monica

    wow that was really interesting!! u practicaly wrote everything someone should now about it. i hav to say that is very admirable that u hav open ur heart like this to share this. i dont know u , bt im very very proud of u for whriting all this!!

  253. nindya

    I never experience a panic attack before and now I know how it feels like.

  254. Thanks for sharing your story, so personal, you are a brave person. Wonderful in all ways! You have made me smarter and wiser. I appreciate your time :)

  255. Thanks for sharing your story, so personal, you are a brave person. Wonderful in all ways! You have made me smarter and wiser. I appreciate your time :)

  256. Hannah

    My mum used to suffer from them when I was younger, and I know how hard she found it, so I think you're very brave sharing this with everyone! She doesn't get them anymore so there is hope :)

  257. I used to suffer from panic attacks quit frequently and it was extermly scary not just to myself but to those around me. This was a very informative post that I hope many people see. I wish that my family had a fraction of this insight. They used to just keep asking me if I was okay, because on top of the panic attack I'd get an asthma attack, which would send my grandmother into a tizzy, trying to find my inhaler, which I might add was usually in my hand by that time, but still, had they been more ducated things might have been more smooth.

  258. Michele

    I'm crying :( About three years ago, I suddenly stopped having panic attacks after years of getting them frequently. I have no idea why… I thought I had just "gotten over it." My general anxiety was still around, but it was more of a dull buzz than the roar of an attack.

    But about a week ago, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. My boyfriend (who I've been with three years and has never seen me have one) was at a complete loss. He tried so hard to be supportive, but I could see in his eyes that he thought I was overreacting. I'm still really humiliated and ashamed. It makes me feel defective :(

  259. Tiff

    Thanks for sharing your story, Zoe. I also suffer from panic attacks. They started 8 yrs ago when I was in highschool. Mine are triggered by large social events: church, movies, parties, meetings, class. They began when I drew attention to myself being sick during chapel at my Christian highschool. I am a teacher now and my anxiety attacks are still a daily struggle. I recently had to change my work setting and making small changes in my life as often as possible. My attacks leave me in physical pain, nausea, and unable to breathe normally. Things that help me once I have one: slow, deep breaths, closing my eyes, sitting down, being alone mainly, hot tea( when able to drink). What's helped me the most is being aware of my physical state and recognizing the situations or thought process that brings them on… And mostly how to calm myself when I feel one beginning. Sometimes peppermints can help calm me, teas, rubbing my wrists, removing myself from the situation if possible, counting in my head to distract my thoughts, having a safety person who I know would be able to pick me up, help me leave, etc. My attacks have recently gotten a lot better and that is due to tge strategy I am currently working on: inform the person you are with when you are feeling anxiety. People who care for you will help you problem solve and be receptive if your thoughts on how they can help you. People who seem understanding aren't worth your time…and you will know right away that your on your own in calming the attack. Just know, they can get better. Sometimes it just takes time to understand how you can help yourself the most effectively. Good luck, chica!

  260. This was so helpful, thank you so much. My friend suffers from panic attacks and this really helped me understand her feelings better!

  261. thanks Zoe, this has really helped me as im a suffer too sometimes:), i love every single on of your videos, well done Zoe :)

  262. Thank you for this post! It was like someone was describing my life. I often avoid going out/drinking and doing new things so I don't have a panic attack but it sure does lead to a boring life. I can't tell you how many times I've wished to just be "normal".I hope it's something we can one day over come.
    xx

  263. Hi Zoe, my name is Nicole I am 15 and have post traumatic stress disorder with severe anxiety disorder. I'd like to start off by saaying I think you are incredibaly brave and i think it takes a lot of guts to right something like this. In this blog you mentioned how your panic attacks can hold you back from doing things like going to the pub which is normal at your age, at my age its normal to be at school, due to my anxiety i find this normal task terrifyingly donting. I can't do experiments in chemistry and have to go to the school base instead of going to french because the teacher shouts so loud.I ccan't even do the exams in the assembly hall because there are too many people and i get way to nervous. For me the NHS was a total waste of time. Not only did they not help me at all, but they treated me like a 2 year old and didn't bring anything new to the table. When I'm in a panic attack I calm down by a technique my aunt showed me . It's called 7/ 11 . Basically you breath in for 7 seconds and out for 11 seconds, you do this repeatedly until you feel better. Its really calming because you can do it in your head, you dont need anyone there and you are totally focused. I also tried EMDR although to be honest I didn't feel it helped me at all. CBT has worked really well for me and I like how you can use your hands and after doing it a good few times I feel so much better. I totally get what you mean not wanting people to be around you or talk to you… I feel this way because it's as if it's my battle with myself and I think after relying on psychologists, doctors, teachers I've found that actually the only person who can make a difference is me. I have tried calms and personally don't like them, however what I love is Bach rescue remedy, you can simply put a few drops in your water and can carry it throughout the day in your bag, take it into an exam or have it handy if your ever in need to be in a bit of a more relaxed state. I really hope you found this interesting and I'd just like to say thank you because everything you posted I truely can relate to and it means so much to me that you would share something as personal as that. Love Nicole xxx

  264. candace

    I never really comment on posts but I wanted to let you know that I also suffer from panic disorder. I too did not visit the dr. for a long time but after a couple of years of being unable to get in a car I decided I needed to do something. I first went to a therapist to talk about it and see what they thought I should do. He quickly diagnosed me with panic disorder and wrote me a prescription for Zoloft (some docs may give prozac or multiple other types of anti-depressents). It did not help me at first because it takes a while to get in your system but after about 6 months I began to have less and less panic attacks. Now, 2 years later, I am doing so well and VERY rarely experience any sort of panic or anxiety. Let me be clear that being medicated was not something I was ever comfortable with, in fact, when my therapist told me I needed to take medicine I sat there and cried uncontrollably for about 30 minutes. but the fact is, if you want to have a life worth living, sometimes you need medicine. I would like to think that someday I can wean myself off of the medication but my number one priority is just being happy and healthy and have the ability to enjoy the little things in life that every person should, if that means staying on my medicine, then I will. I hope this post reaches you and that it might help you with your decisions about how to manage your panic attacks, but more than anything I hope you are able to find what works for you so that you can get over the panic and get back to a normal lifestyle. I know that I am a completely new person now and so grateful for every experience in life that before I may have taken for granted.
    Good luck and lots of love,
    Candace

  265. I really like the fact that I have found your blog in such a day like this. I hate the beginnings of the year, because it gives me anxiety and I feel overwhelmed.

    I was surfing the internet and I found your blog and consequently this post. I have anxiety since I was a 15-year-old little girl. Now I'm on the way to be 20 and I feel very happy to say that it's been a while since I hadn't suffered proper panic attacks.

    I went to see a psychologist to help me with that problem. She helped me a lot but now I go on my own and I feel extremely better than before.

    I will keep visiting your blog because I really liked what you put on here. Finally, sorry for my English, it's not my mothertounge.

    PS. I leave here my email, just in case you want to contact with me or something :) notseenyet@hotmail.com

  266. Hiya Zoe

    This is such a personal post and you are so brave to write about it :)
    I have only had a panic attack once and it was horrible and i didn't know what was happening but yet I knew I was having a panic attack my boyfriend was luckily with me talked me through it, i had alot on my plate and I think it was long over due, i wouldn't wish one upon anybody and i hope in due course yours gets better

    (ty for the video you emailed me)

    xx

  267. This was actually really interesting to read, I had no idea of all the information on panic attacks :O I didn't realise it was so real and serious..
    Very helpful :) and thanks for posting!x

  268. Hi zoe, I find this so helpful! I haven't exactly suffered from panic attacks but I did have one around about a year ago now actually. It happened due to my thyroid being overactive and went un noticed for a year or so.. When it happened nobody around me knew what to do and said it was terrifying, I personally wouldn't of known what to do either. Well now I do, so thank you and all the best with them for the future :)♥

  269. Valerie

    Thanks for writing about it.
    I suffer from anxiety and it's really well described in your post and your advices to people on how to react are really good.
    I'm gonna share your post as it might be helpful !
    Thx again.
    Val

    OH and btw, you look damn cute !

  270. Jazz

    I was just browsing some blogs and I came across your and this post! I know I have really bad anxiety problems but I've never read about it the way you have put it. I too suffered an attack on a crowed bus last week, I was with my fiance and I spotted two guys who I knew back in school, they smashed my friends windows and distroyed her mums car because she wouldn't let them in her house. As soon as I saw them this feeling of dread came over me I wasn't fussed for my well being as much but my fiance's they're dangerous people, I prayed they wouldn't recognize me and in the end it got too much, my breathing got really fast, I was sweating 'fanning' myself like you said. I tried my hardest to regain abit of composure but by them my fiance had noticed how distressed I was and suggested we got off the bus to which I jumped at the chance. The literal second I stepped off that bus I was fine. It made me feel so stupid because those guys probably didn't recognize me at all and in reality I had nothing to fear!
    I really hope for all of our sakes that one day the attacks just disappear!

    Jazz x

  271. KatieG

    Hey Zoe,
    I started to write about my experience with panic attacks, as i can relate to a lot of what you said, and ended up writing a two page story of my three years with high anxiety and panic attacks and felt a lot of it was too personal to write on the internet.

    I admire you for writing this, as i know it isn't the easiest of things to explain.
    You have made me realize that i'm not the only one who has high anxiety/panic attacks and that a lot of what i feel is common among sufferers.
    xx THANK YOU xx

  272. This is an amazing post and i am so glad that you had the courage to write all of this. I have suffered for years and somehow, never even considered searching it or reading about it. Maybe because I don't like to admit that they happen because everyone says it's in my head. I truly believe my reading and probably even re reading this will help me and I thank you for that. You are an inspiration in many ways but this post has made me respect you even more than i already did. <3
    xochels

  273. Beautiful post! Getting to know your body and understanding it's inner workings might be a really helpful experience too, mind over body exercises such as Pilates or Yoga take you to whole other level of consiousness over your entire body they also teach you how to breath properly wich as Zoe said is essential, even just jogging or any cardio training, any sport helps too. If you are able to listen to the signals your body is sending you and learn how to respond it helps to improveme any condition, I've seen it work from anorexia to panic attacks. Hope you try it!! x

  274. aj390

    Id like to say thank you to you for putting this out there, its really made me feel more at ease that SOMEBODY understands and that im not alone. I have suffered with panic attacks for as long as i can remember and reading this has also gave me some insight on how to cope better with my anxiety.
    Very well written xx

  275. lauraaa

    omg this is me ENTIRELY! i have such a fear of vomit that i absolutely HATE going to school now and find it hard to eat at lunch as this is when i panic and particularly on fridays (dont ask because i dont know) and ah this has helped me SO much its untrue! thank you so much! i hope your panic attacks continue to get better because they arent nice at all and ive never really told anyone about mine because no one will understand :(

  276. I suffer with severe generalized anxiety, + I have phases of agoraphobia and i have to make myself leave the house. im having a hard time coping with my anxiety at the moment, i haven't been out of my house for 5days, i have a few good friends who are understanding one came round last night ordered me a take away + just had a night in. i was supposed to go to work today but couldn't my mum finds it frustrating and doesn't understand + is finding it had to except. Im supposed to go one of my longest friend 18th birthday party tonight + I'v lied and said iv been up all night sick + cant come + all this makes me depressed. I haven't been to college since I broke up for christmas.
    this post helps me realize that there are others out there + people do understand, thank you soooooo much. xx

  277. I also suffer with panic attacks though they're very mild. I can usually calm myself down and I carry rescue remedy with me everywhere (honestly, it's probably more of a placebo for me). Thank you so much for posting this as honestly, I don't think many of my friends understand how horrible attacks really are. Gorgeous blog, gorgeous post.

    xxx

    thatclassbrit.blogspot.com

  278. Mavs

    I know you have millions of other comments on this post and they all say pretty much what I want to say myself, but It was so good to see this post when I started reading your blog. Literally barely anyone knows about my panic attacks I had when I was 15/16 onwards I went to the doctor and he just said I was depressed and told me to go to counselling which I didn't think was the main problem or would help as sometimes when I had an attack I would over compensate and hyper-react to things in a positive way, like laughing hysterically for ages over nothing instead of the normal reaction I had like the wanting to run away, the passing out, hyper ventilating or the paralysis I experienced. Turns out it was actually partly due to a hormone problem and I got help for that but otherwise I had to work through it by myself and slowly I got better. I'm definitely much stronger now and haven't had many in aaages, just a few even though I have been through some major life troubles and I'm so proud of myself, last time I had one I worked through it all on my own. Thank you for being strong and posting about this, it's as you can see from all the love you got from the comments, really inspirational and comforting!
    :D
    Diddy Darling

  279. Thank You Zoe for writing a beautiful post. I had panic attacks when I was age 7-10 and that was mainly because I didn't like leaving my mum over night sad I know, But they did stop or so I though till about 2 months ago when I was on holiday with my boyfriend and I had one completely out of the blue and now I am having at least 5/6 a week and I been signed of work due to it :(. But I want you to know that you have help me, my boyfriend and my family see that there is another people who are going though it and its not just us.

    Thank You again xx

  280. I am so happy I found this post on your blog. I have suffered from panic attacks for about 2 years now and despite being on anti anxiety tablets I still get in such a state. I am also at uni so leaving the house to go to lectures becomes impossible at times, but this has certainly helped! It is so nice to know someone else is kinda the same. I havnt been on a night out in years, the thought of it even makes me worry, but to know you were thinking the same things is sooo supportive. Unfortunately my boyfriend is the 'calm down' type and just drags me along by the hand untill i admit defeat and cry on him (i am hoping after all this time he will learn, sticking in a place doesnt make things better)I may show him your post and see if he understands! Thank you so much Zoe, for proving its not weird and unusual to be like this! Much Love!

  281. Thank you so so so much for this post! I have suffered from panic attacks for the past two/three years or so and I had to sit all of my A-Levels in a room by myself and then ended up dropping out of University after only two weeks. Some days I feel really alone and paranoid that people think I'm being over the top about my anxiety and other days I won't think about having a panic attack once. Thanks again, this post has made me feel so much less alone xxx

  282. I had just a few panic attacks in my life, but the one after taking Kalms was the worst I ever had. It was like 10 times stronger than previous ones. I was really stressed because of school, I have headaches which last for weeks and my doctor said that only psychologist can help me but as for now I can take Kalms. So I did. It was the worst thing I could do. I took one pill and went to sleep. When Kalms almost stopped "working", the panic attack started. I was crying, choking with tears, couldn't breath and wanted to run away because I lost my tangle (little plastic toy which helps me to calm down). Then my lovely boyfriend told me that my behaviour was pathetic and disguisting… I have never felt so bad in my life… And I won't ever take Kalms again. Doesn't it have a side effect on you ?

    Looove your blog, Shoee ;))

  283. i've just started reading all your posts and so far, this is my favorite one. it's eloquent, helpful, and beautifully honest :3 i used to suffer from panic attacks and i'm so appreciative that you would take the time to post something so personal.

  284. Like reading a story about my own life. I know a lot of people suffer from panick attacks (me included for 4 years now) but no-one in my envirenmont has it…so I still feel alone. But you succeeded in taking away this feeling for a few minutes. Thank you for that!

  285. Like reading a story about my own life or even my own thoughts. No-one in my environment suffers from panick attacks (except for me, 4 years now) and I feel alone all the time. But you took away this feeling for a few minutes, thank you for that. Let's hope we will be able to live without fear one day and seeing panick attacks as a memory…

  286. Gem

    A brilliant post. My boyfriend suffers from anxeity/panic attacks. It is so hard to know what is best to do, as we both know that there isn't much that will help. This usually ends up with me sitting there silently feeling completely helpless and almost guilty. My boyfriend is 26 and has no memory of his first attack, but since we've been together i have noticed a pattern, usually few days following a night out are the worst.. with symptoms just as you've described, as well as when trying to get to sleep. This can happen almost every other night. Often he is lucky to get 4 hours a nights sleep. Which in turn, makes his anxieties worse, through lack of sleep. Its so hard knowing what to do, and i do find myself having to bite my tounge at 4am on a weeknight when im woken by him pacing around the house.. Its nice to know that there are others living with it, and managing to get on with life.. :) I will definately be getting the bf to have a read of your blog. Thank you xo

  287. I have been a panic attack sufferer for quite a few years now and never before have I been given more information about it until now.

    Thank you Zoe for helping so many of us come to terms with it and for being someone that we can all relate to.
    I think that is what makes you so great and have so many fans… you are just like the rest of us.
    You are silly, humorous, clumsy and an all-round good person. You are not afraid to be yourself. The only thing that seperates you is your Hollywood hairstyle that I'm sure we're all insanely envious of and your abundant supply of to-die-for makeup collection!!!

    Loving each and every one of your posts lately as a recent follower!

    Love always,
    Jade

    http://www.completely-imperfect.blogspot.com

  288. This is the best post I have read on panic attacks and believe me I have read a lot. I do all the things you have spoken about, the avoidance of places suddenly got worse and I didn't leave my house for 3 weeks. This is so encouraging for people to get help before you become severely agoraphobic like I was. I am now on medication to control my anxiety and I try not to be ashamed of it but it's hard when so many people brush these sorts of issues under the carpet. If anybody reads this don't be ashamed and tell people how you are feeling! Or if you know some with panic attacks be there for them, it's not there fault!! Thanks for this post! Xxx

  289. Wow, thank you so much for this post! I also have a huge phobia of sick/being sick and just hearing that someone else has the same issue makes me feel a lot better about it.

    <3 Julia

  290. Thank you so much for this post! I have the same fear of sick/being sick and it helps so much to know that other people struggle with the same thing! A lot of people sort of make fun of me for my fear and it definitely DOESN'T make the situation better. I like that you included what people should do if someone else is panicking, and I will definitely make sure my next boyfriend knows how to handle it!

    I love your blog and your videos!

    <3

  291. Zoe,

    I get them too. A book I would recommend is "When Panic Attacks" by Dr Aine Tubridy.
    Basically, I feel breathless, tight in my chest and throat, racing heartbeat, sweating, and WHAT IFS!
    I get them when I'm alone, or when I don't have somewhere safe to go.
    I don't travel alone and I don't drink.
    It started when I went to a music festival and went through was is apparently called Derealization?! I was fairly anxious anyway as it was packed and dark and disorientated because of the surreal feelings of the flood lights etc. But basically, I was on the way back from dancing my bum off and was having a great time and then wham, out of nowhere I couldnt piece anything back together. Very scarey. I was always afraid of it happening again and then it did when I was out in town one night. Again, it went away and i was fine but like, i was always so afraid of it happening again, it developed into a constant fear and so i began to have panic attacks. I generally get thru them fairly quickly, and i know I just have to call someone and it calms me down. I live away from home for college, only an hour or so, but its almost every night that I wake up in a state and have to call my dad to calm me down. its so scarey and you feel so alone. its awful. I dunno, I know it will pass and sometimes Im absolutely fine. It restricts me from doing a lot. I have looked at that Linden method mentioned below and the guy seems really down to earth and honest, so thats good! I just think it's all down to us, and yeah it is all in our head, and its so annoying hearing that mid panic but when we have a clear head it makes sense. Anyway, look at all of these people explaining everything so honestly and to a T!! Good luck everyone, we CAN get through it! x

    Katie x

  292. I was browsing through your blog and came across this, I suffer with health anxiety and panic attacks and its so good to actually read about real people having the same sort of problems, it made me not feel so alone with it all. You wrote this post soo well, it was really helpful and inspirational, made me feel a lot better, thank you!

    xx

  293. This really helped me, I have anxiety issues that I feel sometimes control my life, I go through phases with it and I feel like I'm going through one right now. I usually shut down and close myself off from people. I either overcome the anxiety attack or it overcomes me and when it 'wins' so to speak, I always feel utterly depressed and hopeless afterwards for at least a few hours and I think it have a more lasting affect that can run for a few weeks if it's damaged my self esteem enough. I'm the same with going out I try to force myself into these uncomfortable situations so I get better with them but sometimes I feel no matter how many times I do it, I never feel comfortable and one panic attack and it's ruined for me again. It was nice to read someone else putting it into words, so thank you xxx

  294. That's a very good explanation of panic attacks. I suffer from them whenever i see or am near a dog. i used to be very bad, and stopped visiting my grandparents who live around the road from my house even though their dog was very old. if i came into contact with any random dog in the street id have a panic attack and i stopped going down the town with my friends in fear. it got to the point where dad had to do something about it cause he felt it was ruining my life, so i got help from a childrens psychiatrist, and for 2 years she helped me. Nowadays i am not as bad, but they still trigger from time to time. xo

  295. Chloe

    Thank you for posting this. I believe I have been suffering panic attacks from year 3/4, I used to get bullied and when it'd be time to go to school I'd have a panic attack. As I was so young I just thought I was ill. I used to take a lot of time off school because I though I was ill. After being told I could take the day off school I'd feel better within an instant. I'm now 14 and these panic attacks have got extremely worse. I go to CBT and take kalms everyday (which I find make my panic attacks a lot less severe). I have a panic when I leave the house. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and low blood pressure so I have a lot of appointments with doctors and I have a panic attack whenever I have to go. I noticed how bad it got when in January this year I went to town with my mum (which is 30 mins) away. We went on the train and I had the worst panic attack I'd ever had. We were in town for about an hour before I had to leave because of the severity of it. I felt so embarrassed, ashamed and angry with myself. Ever since then I've barely gone out, when I do I have a panic attack. After that massive panic attack I started having attacks everyday for a week just because I was thinking about going outside. Thank you for posting this as it makes me feel that I'm not alone :) xx

  296. Maria

    Hi, i am one of your youtube subscriber and i just checked your blog for the first time. I read this post because i startded having anxiety and panic attacks in january 2011. I didn't know anything about it, and i was reakky anxious, which made it worse. I also got into a depression but then i tried to take meds and it really calmed the physical symptoms. I also did a therapy and i learned that some things in my life weren't right. When you have anxiety, in my opinion, it's because something is not the way you want it to. With your pannic attacks, i really think that they are tryin to send you a message about your life. Once i understood what i needed to do, my life became so much better. I still take meds but i am so much more happy because i listen to myself. Since i became better, i really enjoy life and i realized that life is really precious and health is one of the most important thing in the world.

    I really like your post, you really described exactly what a panic attacks feels like. I totally agree with you, nobody can really understand it if they've never experienced it. I really wish you the best with you anxiety and this post really helps people understand that it is not our fault if we go through these things.
    Thank you
    Maria from the-missing-key.blogspot.com

  297. Hi Zoe!!
    Love your blog.
    You are truly talented.

    Just read this amazing post and you just can't imagine how bless i feel 2 read it. Because also suffer panic attacks for about 3 years ago. I identified myself in everything that you write and i feel so relieved 2 know that i'm not the only person 2 feel all these horrible symptoms.
    I still remember my first panic attack it was in the subway out of know-here i stared to feel very dizzy and my hands stared sweat alot and i just thought i was going 2 pass out/die and i just wanted 2 run away from the situation…

    Then the panic got worse went 2 doctor and did some treatment and felt didn't do nothing so i was terrified in the first year. I wouldn't feel better and my life was like hell because i couldn't work, couldn't got 2 the mall, couldn't exercise, couldn't do the things i loved and enjoy time with my husband.
    I felt a alien and i just wanted 2 feel normal again! I would be so devastated with myself…
    So i got 2 a point and stared 2 take one step at a time, admit what i have and when i feel like the panic is about start just try 2 be calm and if it gets worse i try 2 go somewhere i can feel more in-control. And most important i try no not give a F*C* with the people that don't understand!
    Thanks 4 these incredible post and i truly believe that we can make it by taking a step at a time!

    Let's believe in ourselves!
    Kisses,
    Isa.
    http://isarealworld.blogspot.pt/

  298. I know exactly how you feel, I suffer from panic attacks all the time i have done for 7 years! This post sums everything up! It really is a very useful. There is medication you can take, I have been given Beta Blockers (Which slow the adrenaline down so you have a chance to stop the attack sooner) and nausea tablets, cause I have a phobia of being sick, so feeling sick and panic makes things a whole lot worse (vicious cycle)I don't know if they actually do anything to my body as such, it could be in my head, but they do make me feel better.

    Sorry to ramble, but amazing post, well done for writing it!

    Kirsty

  299. This post made me genuinely so proud. I've also suffered from panic attacks and intense anxiety for around 6 years (ish) and I've never had someone explain it to me so well, or understood exactly how it makes me feel to panic. I understand how much of a personal thing this is to write about, so I can't even begin to say how impressed I am that you managed it. I find the trigger for my panic attacks is feeling unwell, nauseous or out of control which often is directly related to alcohol, for a while it put me off the things I wanted to do and I enjoyed. But luckily for me, in time I started to have less and less attacks and now if I do have one they are very rare for me. Thank you so much for sharing your story xxxxx

  300. Thank you so much for this post! I suffer from them as well, and being in grad school has really caused my anxiety to flare up again. This post was really encouraging; the things that help me most are my faith in Christ and reading inspiring stories like yours! Thanks again!
    <3
    Jackie

  301. Thank you so much for this post! I suffer from them as well, and being in grad school has really caused my anxiety to flare up again. This post was really encouraging; the things that help me most are my faith in Christ and reading inspiring stories like yours! Thanks again!
    <3
    Jackie

  302. OMG Zoe… THANK YOU!! i have never read anything that explains exactly how i feel right to the point. i the same have mentally stored away situation which hold me back in all aspects of life (meetings with clients, driving down a straight road :/, lunch hours) and the same as you i freak out more when the person im with constantly asks 'are you OK?' 'whats wrong?'. thank you so much for this post i will definitely give the book mentioned a read!! i wish you all the best with controlling you attack :) all my love… Sophie xxx

  303. OMG Zoe… THANK YOU!! i have never read anything that explains exactly how i feel right to the point. i the same have mentally stored away situation which hold me back in all aspects of life (meetings with clients, driving down a straight road :/, lunch hours) and the same as you i freak out more when the person im with constantly asks 'are you OK?' 'whats wrong?'. thank you so much for this post i will definitely give the book mentioned a read!! i wish you all the best with controlling you attack :) all my love… Sophie xxx

  304. OMG Zo … THANK YOU!! I've never read anything that truly explains what i feel when i go through a panic attack. like you i panic more when i'm asked 'are you OK?' 'Calm Down!!' i just like to be quiet and talk to myself (in my head of course). thanks for this post its really helped me to understand it a little more and to also explain to my boyfriend and family exactly how i feel.

    i wish you all the best controlling your attacks!!!

    all my love

    Sophie

  305. Ellie

    Wow this post has truely made me feel better about my own panic attacks!
    I haven't had one in a while and am so much better in controlling them myself, but you are so right about the people who say 'calm down' – YOURE NOT HELPING!
    I take my rescue remedy with me everywhere, I'm not sure if it works but its like a comfort blanket for me :)
    I really enjoyed reading this post and think its great that you can be so brave to talk about it!
    I hope you continue to beat the horrible attacks, you can do it! :D xx

  306. Zoe Thank you so much for sharing your story. I do not suffer panic attacks per say but I have lived with high levels of anxiety since elementary school. I also have a huge phobia of people vomiting or myself vomiting so everywhere I am I have to know where the closest bathroom is or place to hide out in case such a situation should arise. CBT techniques have worked for me to help curb some of my anxiety in situations and I hope you find the same peace.
    xoxo Michelle

  307. This is genuinely one of the best blog posts I have read in ages.

    I suffer from really bad anxiety and panic attacks, and it's left me with such low self-esteem. I used to absolutely love going to gigs in London, but since developing anxiety I just can't enjoy them in the same way anymore. Getting the tube is a nightmare, and standing in such a busy, loud, hot environment to see a band is awful for panic attacks. It's such a shame, because like you mentioned, it makes you feel like you're missing out on doing things that you're meant to at your age, and things that other people just take for granted & enjoy.
    I even had to quit my part-time job because of my panic attacks, the more panic attacks I had there, the more I worried my boss was going to fire me, so the more i panicked. It's just one horrible circle.

    Sadly, I don't think anxiety will ever disappear for me, but i'm hoping that i'll learn to deal with my panic attacks better, and not have to escape the situation every single time I have one!

  308. Elly

    Thank you so much for this post Zoe, it has really put a lot of things into perspective for me especially with something's that I am facing at the moment. You have a very intelligent way of writing, especially on this topic. Love the blog xxx

  309. Wow, I know I am late to this post but was reading back through some of your old posts and this one caught my eye.

    Firstly, thank you for writing this, I ended up here from watching Louise's videos and you always look so bubbly and happy and like you dont have a care in the world. I say this because those are the exact words people have used to describe me. If only they knew what was really going on.

    Your blog has explained panic attacks better than anywhere on the internet. I thought I suffered from panic attacks and after googling (like you do!) to find out symptomes felt that it could not possible be panic attacks, I must just be over reacting! I never mentioned it to my doctor as I felt they would also tell me I was just over reacting to things.

    Looking back I have been suffering with panic attacks since high school due to bullying, but more recently over the last two-three years when my depression has got a lot worse so have my panic attacks and anxiety. I can be driving and then suddenly start panicing and I have to literally pull over and stop the car! I have managed to alienate myself from friends, as like you said you want to go out but the fear of doing so is crippling. I have been to two weddings receptions recently where my anxiety before was so high even my bf suggested I was being silly about things that were never going to happen. I am also a fainter so in situations where it is really hot I get wound up about that, I have on many occasions had panic attacks because I was worried I was going to faint.

    I love your similie with the filling cabinate. Last year I was teaching maths in high schools however after really bad experiences and the onset of severve deperession over the last summer has now made me terrified to go back. So I am fortunate enough to avoid that by changing jobs but even going past a school (whether I have been in there or not!) starts my heart racing and me worrying.

    I dont know why I felt I wanted to share all that with you seeing as you have already had over 300 comments but I set up my youtube channel and it was a big deal for me. It has given me the confidence to socialise (even if it is over a computer) with people, talk about stuff I am interested in and given me a hobby or something to focus on rather than every little thing going on else where.

    I really do hope that you are well, and have not had any attacks recently. I am going on a training course next week and the thought of it literally petrifies me but I have gone through all the crazy potential issues that may arise with my bf and he has helped me so much in deciding which ones are competely crazy like aliens attacking me (that was meant to be a joke but now my anxiety has kicked in I am worrying about aliens!!) to the more realistic and controlable like forgetting my toothbrush – I can buy another one!

    Sending lots of love Kirsty xxxxxxx
    @lipstickdreamer on twitter

  310. Great post Zoe! I have had GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and severe panic attacks since I was 15 (am now 27) and understand how completely awful and debilitating it can be! Mine got to the point a few years ago where I had to quit my job and move away from the city. I was having continuous attacks that were lasting hours- my whole day was marked by these awful attacks. I ended up having some really good CBT that helped me get myself out of the anxiety and depression spiral I was in so I do really recommend it. I had been panic attack free for around 12 months until january this year. Who knows what happened, but I started having them again, though not as often. I am seeing a new psychologist at the moment and I cannot recommend her techniques enough-I am doing brilliantly well. She uses something called mindfulness, which isn't so much about re training the brain but developing an understanding that thoughts are just thoughts and that we can choose whether to believe them or not. There is more to it than that, with loads of meditation and daily practice activities etc, but that is the gist of it. For me, my anxiety comes from a fear of having an accident or just dropping dead (super paranoid about my health) but since seeing her I have managed to finally get my license (yippee) and am making big steps to change my lifestyle and not let fear stop me achieving what I want! I am even moving to London in January (I live in the australian country side now)! If you feel like it, google mindfulness for anxiety-there is loads of info online and even youtube videos for mindfulness and breathing exercises. Good luck and well done for writing about such a personal thing-the more we talk about mental illness the less stigma it has!
    xx Samantha

  311. I have only just come across this blog post, and it really put a smile on my face to know that i am not the only one out there who suffers from these.
    I could never go into a classroom, or walk freely alone around the school, because I was bullied by ex-close friends for a while and the school did nothing about it, but now I am happy to say that I can do this around my college.
    However, I still am being bullied by a few people as they do not understand how I deal with things like "normal" people.
    I hope more people will understand in the future.
    Thankyou, for this inspiring blog post.

    xx

  312. Hi, I know you wrote this ages ago but I only just came across it.. I've recently had a number of panic attacks in quite a short space of time, I've only ever had one or two in the past and triggered by extreme stress but recently (i.e. in the past couple of months) they've been more frequent and for seemingly no reason whatsoever – I've had two on buses and others connected with the idea of going out with my friends or even just going into the kitchen to eat with them (I live in student accommodation). I've been really resistant to tell anyone because I don't know if they'll understand and I don't want to seem like a 'drama queen' but since reading this I realise that that isn't the healthiest way to deal with them… my boyfriend has been telling me to go to the Dr for a while too and I've been putting that off, I know it didn't help you much but you seem to have started to deal with them better once you took the first step towards deciding to control them. Thanks for all the tips and the wonderfully written post, you've helped a lot :) XX

  313. This post is so helpful!
    I've suffered from panic attacks for years, sometimes it's worse than other times. It's such a horrible feeling and the embarrassment of it is the worst thing! It got really bad for me recently and it was controlling everything I did, I wouldn't go places and do things in fear of it but I found that exposure therapy really worked for me. I took it slowly and started doing things I usually wouldn't do each day and the feeling after I'd managed to do something without panicking was sooo good! And now It hardly affects me at all thankfully :)
    It's nice reading the comments that so many people can relate to it, as when it was bad, I felt like no one really understood it and how horrible it is!
    So glad I read this :)

    http://georgiabeee.blogspot.co.uk/

    xx

  314. Hello,
    Im 16 and recently started to get small panic attacks!
    it started when I was on a D of E expidition and we couldnt get out of a bog! I am now taking my GCSE's and am getting one everytime before my exams, I do all the stuff you do and it goes in 5 mins!
    Thank you for making people aware of how it feels as its really hard to explain!
    Love your videos and things
    Anna

  315. this was such a well written well thought out post. This is the sort of thing people need when seeking advice, it's personal and real. Well done to you :)

    Mel x

  316. This is going to come off sounding like an inspirational commercial but after reading this it brought so much light to what I've been dealing with recently. I actually got pretty emotional reading all of the post, and right now typing my comment. But I suppose I've been dealing with smaller scale panic attacks for a while now and I ended up having my first full blown attack when I was nearing the end of my first ever plane ride (8 hours) though luckily it only lasted just over five minutes but it was the scariest thing I've ever gone through because I didn't know what was happening to me. I also relate so strongly to not going to parties with your friends, or just out for drinks with your boyfriend, because I am constantly saying no and just staying home and then feeling completely left out of my friends lives and regretting my decision to not go. I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling this way.

  317. I am from Germany and was just searching for something interesting on youtube for my sunday to be more interesting, when i saw your videos. At first, I really liked you as you are a very likable person. I watched more and more videos and recognized that i like your style and the way you are speaking (I was in Lincoln for about 9 month and i love the British accent ;))

    When I then red about the theme of panic, I really felt like you talk about me. I have the same problem since I was 13 (now i am 25). With the years, one starts to manage it and today it is more fear in some situations than panic itself. But I really have to say, the way you are describing your issue very honestly, really is very touching. I now it is very hard to feel that way and many people do not understand, but oneself will come along with it with a little bit of practice :)

    The things you experienced are one thing, but you as a person are really wonderful and very charming, so i am very proud of you, although you just say that to people you know, but i admire the courage you have. Keep being that sweet person you are and i am sure everything will go the right way :))

    Lovely greetings from germany ( I hope I did not make too many mistake with my language).

    Nedda

  318. This post made me cry. I greatly appreciate the thought and effort you put into this piece. I have suffered with anxiety on and off since I was 18, and it progressed into full blown panic disorder after the birth of my twin girls at the age of 28. I am 31 now and I will have long periods of time with no panic attacks. However, when they come back they are stronger than ever. I am currently SUFFERING a great deal from panic and agoraphobia and am trying my hardest to over come.

    I am going to email this to my husband. You wrote everything I would like to say to him, and quite eloquently I might add.

    Thank you.

  319. omg Zoe I'm speechless wanna know why? Because i feel the same as you do. I have panic attacks for like 3 or 4 years. Not only in a club or somewhere where I know I can't get out so quick. I sometimes get panic attacks after I had my dinner. You may all think wt…. after her dinner?? YES after my dinner. I get so bad tummyache till I can go to a toilet! Funny?? Erhm no, not at all it freaks me out everytime. Sometimes I'm not eating because (if I'm not eating I won't get my tummyache) I KNOW this way is wrong and I also know that I have to eat but it is not that easy for me.

    When I get my panic attack I also like to be alone. I really don't like it when ppl are next to me or talking to me because I can't concentrate on what they are saying. I just need to be alone till my attack is over. Normaly it takes like 20-30 mins but sometimes it takes an hour. Or sometimes it just comes out of no where… Everytime I get this let's call it (special tummyache) because it feels differentm as the normaly tummyachse when ur sick or smth I start to sweat,shaking really bad, I feel like I'm trapped and I try to calm myself down and say to myself (Zoe it is not that worse, when u went to the toilet it will be better again) BUT it won't help :)
    So I'm stuck in my attack till it is over. And the worse thing is that I'm not going out that much or don't want to. I don't like to eat in restaurants or somewhere else at a frieds house or stay over night at someone's place.

    Only the thought to do that let me feel like I panic.
    So I also have BPD (Borderline personality disorder) what does that means?? Google it :)
    So it makes it much harder for me… but i will get thrue it……… I'm not thinking that way in the middle of the panic attack I think I won't servive and die or smth O.o

    So ^^ that is my story :) and I also linked that post in my LOTD xx
    Guys just know you are not alone xx

    xx <3
    http://zozeboglitter.blogspot.de/

  320. Hiya :)

    I read ur cmt and this sentence caught my eyes

    "this post has got me thinking maybe i should see a therapist or a psychiatrist and really get my feelings out to a professional."

    I can recommend you to go and get your self a theraphist or a psychiatrist it is nothing that you have to be ashamed of or anything. You will just get the help that you need any who knows maybe you can drive again WITHOUT a panic attack :)
    Wish you all the best xx

  321. very nice and well written post of the basic information needed on panic.

  322. I have had panic for about 4 years and your right. All the things you were saying are what I feel everytime I panic. I get very rude when I have mine and sometimes I hurt peoples feelings when I react to panic and can't go hide somewhere to calm down. One thing that helps me is to say…" I will not be subject to fear". I then start to get angry which cuts the fear in half and makes it more manageable for me. Also, when I'm going to places I might have panic I think to myself " ok so I might have a panic attack. That's fine, it's 20min and then I'm done" I have learned to accept that I MIGHT panic but that I MIGHT not. It helps it not be such a shock if it should happen and a proud moment if it doesn't. Thank you for the post, you put words in my mouth that I couldn't say. Thank you!!!

  323. This is such an amazing post.
    I've been suffering from panic attacks this year only and it's been the worse thing ever.
    I've always been an anxious/ slightly hypochondriac person, but nothing more, the average adrenaline before an exam for example.
    But by march of this year, panic attacks began. I remember being in my history of ideas class, fighting against it. I didn't really understood what was happening to me, just that I had to leave far away and drink lots of water. I had more and more frequent attacks and exams were coming. I didn't want to be unable to sat and write my essays so I went to see my kinesiotherapist. I refuse to take medication, just plant stuffs, nothing to bad. I thought my attacks were over, but a week ago they came back. I can't go on a restaurant without struggling when eating my meal. I can't go on a bar and sit there enjoying the moment. I can't even eat without feeling nauseous. This is a nightmare, and I totally understand what you're going through. I often feel ashamed, "why can't I just be normal?" exactly. My family is there for me and I'm really thanks full for that.
    Thanks for this post, I hope I'll find something to get better very soon.
    xxx
    http://lakalliste.blogspot.com

  324. CBT is amazing treatment. I used to suffer from severe panic attacks, to the point that I checked myself into a mental hospital because I just couldn't take them anymore. I would take Xanax as an emergency calming drug and I am still on Paxil now. It took months to figure out a solution but finally we came across CBT. I have only had one slight panic attack in the past 6 months and I have all the tools necessary to take myself in and out of one within short minutes. If you or anyone else has any questions, please don't hesitate to ask me. This is a terrifying thing to deal with on your own. This is something where "it takes one to know one". Unless someone has suffered from panic attacks they won't know how to help you. Best of luck!!

  325. I ♥ this post. Sometimes it just isn't enough to review makeup and skincare…sometimes it is nice to get a true glimpse of what challenges an individual. I have had panic attacks since I was about 7 yrs old due to a divorce and a messy childhood. I too suffered from the downward spiral panic attacks and needless to say they were absolutely horrible! When I was younger I went to a few therapists well psychiatrists…well the ones that don't prescribe medication. They taught me a few breathing techniques that I have since forgotten although, at the time I do think that they helped somewhat. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, my mother suffers from anxiety so my panic attacks were always validated and treated as a real ailment and not a figment of my imagination which helped immensely. Somewhere along the way I grew out of them. During transitional phases of my life (graduating high school, new bf, starting college, graduating college, moving out, starting teaching…) I do seem to regress and I become very susceptible to attacks. Over time I have found what calms me down during my worst attacks. Firstly, I need a bed. Doing anything but lying down just aggravates the situation more. Secondly, I can't stand talking to anyone or being touched by anyone. This is particularly hard when I am around my bf or mother because their natural instinct is to nurture me but it just makes it worse. Lastly, I must have a clock near me or anything that makes a steady noise. I like the ticking of the clock because it is constant, steady, and unchanging. I focuse on that sound and take comfort in the fact that another tick will come my way. It seems to drown out any thoughts I may have or keep me from really comprehending any sounds. Several minutes of this and I can claw my way back up out of my tunnel. however, their are a few minutes if not an hour where I am on slippery ground and I can easily tumble back down. I try to keep that hour to myself or doing routine like things like brushing my teeth or walking around. I know this was entirely too long but this has been my experience. ♥ Steph

  326. Oh god I almost cry with this, I feel so identified! Been suffering for many years now, tho I can go out now.. and do a 'normal' life sometimes I still freak out and get this panic attacks..
    Thank you for writing this :)

  327. ive been watching your videos for a while now but ive just came across this blog post and i couldnt relate more to it. Although i dont think ive ever had a panic attack i relate purely to the sick phobia. I have had such a fear of sick and others being sick since as long as i can remember and my older sister is the same. I think my fear comes from not being able to control when/where other people are going to be sick and being in a situation in which you might have to see/hear it. I used to make myself sick at primary school so i didnt have to go incase i seen anyone being sick or I myself was sick with no one there to help me. Even now, i hate going out to night clubs which are very busy and I hate being in a enclosed space with drunk people. Nobody else seems to understand this around me and when i start to panic they think im being stupid. They fall out with me if i want to leave somewhere because i feel uncomfortable etc and that upsets me because i wouldnt be like that if i could help it. I never ever get drunk and people think im boring because of it but i cannot stand to feel out of control of my own body and not aware of what others are doing. Im glad ive came across your blog post on this and that im not the only one that suffers with these sorts of things. xx

  328. Lisa

    I only came across this post now but I still wanted to tell you that I think you are a very brave and courageous person for throwing such a personal thing out there. It is so very well written and I think you helped a lot of people understand what it's like to suffer from panic attacks. I personally do not suffer from them nor does anyone I know (thankfully) but I still found your article to be so interesting, emotional and honest. :) xxx

  329. You don't know how good it feels to read this and know that I am not the only one. I have never really considered what I have to be panic attacks before, I just always assumed it was to do with the fact that I have IBS, and a fear of being ill in general. Sometimes I lay at night and am convinced there is something seriously wrong with me, that I'm really ill and that it's too late. Looking at it now, it may not even be IBS but panic attacks.

    I always find that high levels of anxiety bring on my "IBS" and that it is a viscious circle – I panic about being ill which therefore makes me more ill. I experience all of these symptoms – shaking, feeling sick, feeling ill, lightheaded, dizzy, pale. The list is endless. I find that telling myself 'it is okay' or 'you will be fine' and deep breathing really helps, but it often gets to the stage where I can't be in social situations for fear of being ill or my IBS being triggered.

    I have convinced myself that I am allergic to dairy, white bread, anything with high fat content etx and when I eat even the smallest amount of these foods I automatically am anxious and convinced that I will soon be really ill. I like you, need to have an 'escape route' planned and feel so much better when I have my car with me, as it means I can get up and go any time I want regardless of what people think
    Of me. I also hate being around drunk people, never drinking myself as the loss of control is just too much for me to handle. I too, prefer staying in with my fiancé. Even as much as going out to eat, I worry about what food has been cooked in, if it has certain things in it and will it trigger my IBS?! It sounds so pathetic to people who don't know what it feels like and those who don't understand, but when small situations are so debilitating to you, it's the most awful feeling in the world.

    I am due to start a new job tomorrow and the thought is killing me. Not of the job itself but the anxiety of being ill when I'm there. People just don't understand, and it's not exactly easy to explain. I feel like the job will be fine, once I'm used to it, but the worry of becoming ill there and having to leave and drive half an hour home terrifies me. Even someone saying as much as 'good luck for tomorrow' has set me off in tears worrying. It's awful.

    I really, really respect you for writing this Zoe. It takes a lot to air these kind of deep rooted emotions in such a public domain, but knowing that others go through the same sort of feelings as me makes me feel not so unhappy about it. Reading that people have got over their issues reassures me that maybe one day I won't have ridiculously high levels of anxiety.

    Thank you again Zoe.

    Xoxo

  330. I stumbled across your blog through youtube and I am glad I did.I was reading your latest post "just say yes" and it lead me to this one.You did such an amazing job at explaining everything about panic attacks, no one could said it better. Knowing that there are so many other people that struggle with this si so relieving,it means that Im not the only one. Good bless,and keep writing about this things it helps alot!

    xx

  331. I completely understand where you're coming from with this, I suffer majorly from anxiety and always assume the worst in every situation. I find the easiest way to get through it is to practice thinking happy thoughts (i know it sounds super lame but bear with me) I'll have a few happy things that I concentrate on, or a song that makes me happy or a memory that makes me laugh and I'll focus all of my energy on it until the moment passes. I also find, wierdly, that pushing myself to do things I'd usually be scared of helps me alot because it puts me in a situation i feared and when nothing goes wrong, I don't fear it so much anymore. I used to avoid things so much that I even went through a phase for about 2 years of not listening to music if I could help it. I'd go to concerts and stuff because it was such an energetic and happy place, but when I was alone I'd never have music on because I was so scared it would trigger some kind of negative emotion. I think my blog actually helps me focus on the happy things and stops me panicking so much about what could go wrong, it's like free therapy ;)

    Anyway, rant over, basically I just wanted to say i love this post and thanks for sharing xx

  332. KKA

    i love this blog it is helpful no one understands unless you go through it

  333. KKA

    no one understands this disorder unless you have it

  334. I think that I had a panic attack today although I've never experienced one before but it was really horrible and I had many of the things that you fractured in the list near the top. This is really useful as I now know how to explain what happened to myself and my friends as I don't think that they really understood what happened, although I don't really understand it myself but this blog post really helped thanks :) x

  335. I think that I had a panic attack today although I've never experienced one before but it was really horrible and I had many of the things that you fractured in the list near the top. This is really useful as I now know how to explain what happened to myself and my friends as I don't think that they really understood what happened, although I don't really understand it myself but this blog post really helped thanks :) x

  336. Will

    What an amazing post. Well done for having the courage to share such a personal topic with the world. I suffered from panic attacks throughout my childhood, and I wish that I could have read this post when I first starting having them, as I would have realised that it wasn't just me. Realising that I was not alone (and that I wasn't going crazy) was half the battle for me!

    On a positive note, I genuinely struggled throughout my childhood with anxiety – I missed out on holidays, freaked out in front of a couple of girlfriends (never cool) and had a phobia of staying over at friends houses – but I beat it. I haven't had one in over three years, and genuinely don't worry about them at all now. So it is possible to do, you just have to take a step back, try to think logically and rationalise what's happening.

    Thanks again for an amazing post!

  337. I'm a bit late on the band wagon here, but I needed to let you know how my I loved this post! I've suffered from panic attacks for most of my life, but had no clue it was just that until early this year (mainly due to exam stress). Everyone at my sixth form had no idea what was going on and just decided they would judge me and say I was making it up because mine weren't as bad as someone else's.. My two best friends even laughed at me yesterday when I'd finally told them about it..

    You're an inspiration Zoe, thank you xx

  338. It's quite fun because I just came back home from uni after a panic attack, went online and found this. I don't really know what causes my panic attacks, but they physically hurt so bad and I don't really know how to deal with it. My friends don't either. The worst thing is, they didn't know about it. We've known one another for three weeks (when we all started uni) and I thought it wouldn't be necessary to tell them. I could hear them talk about it, and one of my friends said she had panic attacks before so she knows what it's like. And another friend just sat next to me and held my hand. They didn't speak at all, and it felt quite good. I wish it could stop, because it's so exhausting. But it could be worse. Thank you for this post, it feels good not to be alone!

  339. Ada

    I have always think that this post will come in handy and it really did. Thank you for the post! It helped me and my boss with handling a new team member in our department that has panic attacks from a lot of phone calls and emails. Love! x

  340. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks as well. I've watched your videos for quite sometime and I had no idea you had been suffering from the same thing. I'm 15 and have for the past 3 years not been able to control my anxiety or panic. But recently I have been going to cognitive behavior therapy (i think thats what its called) and honestly after just one session I felt a lot better it teaches you to focus on thought vs fact and it has really helped me, it can be quite pricey but if you are dealing with massive panic attacks or frequent anxiety it is really worth it. I hope you are doing better now :) I know how hard it can be and that most people dont understand, thank you so much for writing this post it made me really realize that other people that I can relate to deal with the same shit I feel. thank you for all you do
    ~Holly

  341. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks I had been to doctors and talk therapy but nothing seemed to work so I recently went to a CBT session. It has changed my life although I have had a panic attack since then I have learned how to make them shorter and less frequent. I highly recommend going to at least one session or looking into it because although it can be quite pricey it is really worth if you suffer from a high amount of anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. I'm only 15 and have been dealing with this for about 3 years and I don't know anyone else that has panic attacks, most people I know dont even know I get them because I am a generally very happy person, not quite sure why I'm telling you this but it just goes to show you that just because you are smiling on the outside mean there are monsters that haunt you on the inside. Thanks for showing me that really truly there are other people out there that suffer from the same shit I do. I really appreciate it.
    ~holly

  342. Thank you so much for this post, I've been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks for the last year, I am unfortunatly one of the suffers that can't leave the house! I've just started a blog myself to wrIte about my journey and how make up and everything beauty literally gets me through the day! I've wrote a post about my anxiety and it was thee most nerve racking thing I've ever done but I was so so proud pf myself and I had an amazing response! As for getting better I attend counselling every week with a charity called mind, this really helps with dealing with my emotions etc but my next step is cognitive therapy as I need to re train my brain! Thanks again for a brilliantly written post! Xxx

    http://www.makeupobsessionandanxietyconfessions.blogspot.com

  343. Ive been suffering from panic attacks and general disorder for around 4 years and after trying to help myself it ended up getting worse. I eventually googled 'panic attacks' and your blog was one of the first links. It helped me SO much! I realised im not alone in it and im now getting some NHS help with it, which has helped alot! So thanks for being so honest and writing such a brilliant post.
    XX

  344. Hello Zoe,I suffer with the derealization and 'unreality' side of panic attacks,I'll just be sat in class and I will suddenly rennet something from that same position,the same room,the same feeling before and I will suddenly feel like I'm in a different world,like everyone isn't there and Its very scary,I'm not too keen on certain classes because of it and I remember the first panic attack I ever had,weirdly enough it was the longest panic attack I have ever had and it lasted around 20 mins,I watched your YouTube videos and seeming I love fashion I found them very cool and I love your style and also Joe's channel and his personality,which I found both entertaining and funny,a lot like yours, then I randomly decided to check out your blog online and I came across anxiety mentioned in your recent post which made me curious and led me here,I now know lots that I didn't already about you,and I now admire you and your life even more than I did before,you obviously make lots of people very happy and you show them an amazing understanding of their conditions that can be somewhat compared to yours,thank you for making me feel like I am not alone and that it is a common thing,I have tried other websites for information but they don't always describe my area of the condition very well,I do not know if it will affect me in later life but I hope not,I am very young and determined it wont get in the way of my life,well done Zoe,I am now a true fan of you Untill the very end,and I mean that <3333 xxxxxx

  345. Thank you so much for this, it makes me feel so normal to know that panic disorder (i'm just guessing you have it, i do) stops other people from doing things sometimes to.
    You're amazing, and maybe next time I'm having an attack, I'll try to think of you! xxx

  346. Thank you so much for this.
    It makes me feel so much better to know i'm not the only one.
    I've suffered from panic disorder for 2 years now, and it's so difficult to explain to anyone what's going on.
    Sometimes I feel like I'm going mad with all these panic attacks (there was a time last year I would be having one at least once a week), but maybe next time I have one I can think of you and feel better! xx

  347. Vics

    I know this post was written ages ago, but I thought I'd make a comment anyway in case it's useful. I have panic attacks regularly and have some for a few years now. I also have pretty extreme emetophobia which makes me feel sick every day and I take anti-sickness medication (not that it seems to stop the nausea). Anyway, I've been having CBT and have written about it in my blog, but I'm considering changing therapists as I'm not sure mine really understands Emetophobia. If anyone wants more information on CBT or to discuss panic attacks or emetophobia, please leave me a comment on my blog post and I'll get back to you ASAP.
    http://victoire-life.blogspot.co.uk/

    Thanks for writing this post, I really think it's good for people who don't suffer from them to get more of an understanding about panic attacks.

  348. Hi Zoella

    I have just started watching you on youtube ( love your channel by the way ) and this post nearly made me cry as i suffer with anxiety pretty bad and also ectopic heartbeats it seems to have started through loads of crap over the years just taking over.My dad also suffers with agraphobia, i also dont drink hardly at all because of the ectopic beats ( the little swines )i have now discovered the beauty guru world of youtube which is like a ray of sunshine, watching your channel and others helps me wind down and relax. I also have a slightly or … i shall admit it a major obsession with beauty.I want to start my own blog and youtube channel as a way to talk about and do what i love ( makeup makeup makeup )but imunsure how. Ive made a youtube channel called sugarsweetbeautiful and i have a camera canon sx220 i think. But i want to be able to see myself on my pc as im filming so i know im in focus and that shizzle but i cannot figure it out so how do you do yours ( that sentence really sounds like how do you eat yours as in cream eggs )Also i want to start a blog which i have attempted to undertake through google plus but it was really standard and looked boring and i couldnt personalise it, what blogger website would you recomemnd or what did you start out with. Ok so ill stop waffling now but i just want to say i think your an inspiration and so brave for this post because i to find that people dont understand and think im stupid , im in mt last year of uni and im considering leaving because of it.
    thanks for been ace Zoella
    SugarSweetBeauty ( Melanie )

  349. Anna

    I know exactly how you feel! Up until reading this post I was sure I was the only one.. And that it was just something I'd have to control. I never knew the episodes I had were panic attacks!

  350. Thank you so much Zoe for this post, it has really helped me understand this in many ways. I haven't experienced anything as bad as you did in your explanation of that time when you were 15 but there have been times for me when i have felt exactly like that. Like all the things that can happen in panic attacks are horrible and i know how you feel, also there have been times when i've been invited places and i have just not been able to go because i was too scared and i would have to come with a excuse. But i'm trying to overcome my fears and just go head on! what else is there to do right? i can't let anxiety and the fear of panic attacks rule my life! Besides I have a bucket list I need to complete and panic and anxiety aren't going to get in my way! I used to think exactly like you, "why can't i?" "why am i so afraid?" but i know i can make it better and although my anxiety is a bit random i can get them under control. Deep breathing really helps me or just writing in my diary or notebook just to get it out my head. (sounds weird but it helps!) Thank you so much for the tips, you're amazing zoe!

    xxx :)

  351. This post was really useful, thank you zoe! i suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and had to go to councilling about my anxiety, they did some kind of hypnosis in the end and im not sure if it was just psychological but it really worked a lot! i also have a heart condition and until i knew it wasn't dangerous i used to have panic attacks whenever they happened and stress also brings them on so it was just a horrible time, i found this post so interesting and its so nice reading the comments and knowing that you are not the only person having to deal with things like thiss, thank you xxxx

  352. I can't believe I've just read this now, You really should be so proud of yourself. You use public transport, something I never if not rarely do because of anxiety and fear of having a panic attack. So that is a huge achievement on it's own.

    I'm 20 now and I've been having serve panic attacks for just over 3 years, I dropped out of college and couldn't even face the thought of working it got that bad, for a year or so I was housebound because of it, I ended up getting CBT through NHS and it was a complete waste of time for me, after 10 months of it the women I was seeing ending up dropping me from her list because I wasn't making enough progress to carry on and told me maybe It wasn't the right time for me to "change" but saying that after I stopped seeing her It felt like a whole weight off my shoulders and I felt more calm, and with time I slowly started going out a little bit more.

    I still don't work and still stay at home 95% of the time, I only go out if I have a "safe person" normally my brother, sister or nan. I haven't had a panic attack in over 6 months now (Mainly because I avoid situations in which I could get them)I'm hoping in the new year I will start driving and come September next year I'll be able to go back to college to study animal management.

    I hope all works out for you, I know how hard it is but seriously you already have achieved so much! I wish I was as brave you! x

  353. Denise

    Thanks for this post zoey! It really helps to know that there are people who feel like this too. My problem is speaking with other people (usually older than me) or in front of a group of people. I get super red and start visibly shaking. I also can't think clearly and end up saying stupid things, which prompts me to refrain from speaking up in many of my classes.
    I'm the co-captain of my club this year and I have to actually talk in front of the members tomorrow…I am absolutely terrified. I keep telling myself that there's no reason to be scared or nervous, but I can't help it! I've had this problem since 6th grade and I'm so sick of feeling this way. It takes a massive toll on my self esteem as well, although my low self esteem may actually be the cause of my panic attacks. I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if i didn't worry so much. I don't know what to do :(

  354. thankyou so much for the post and the video, it helped me alot<3

  355. Andie

    I was hoping you could help me as I don't know if what I had was truly a panick attack… Ok, so this happened… Last Saturday. Well, more like Friday but hum yeah…
    So I wanted this tickets to go to a show like really bad and I get excited and a bit "omg, what if…" over anything… The tickets went to sale Saturday at 10am. I woke up at 10, thinking I'd had at least a week to buy the tickets and around noon I get the news that there are no tickets left… So, I get all "Omg, no, no, no." because I wanted it really bad. I cry and finally call my mum with some heavily breathing going on… And I tell her what happened and she understands and stuff.. After that she calls me about 4 more times, what stressed me out because she was saying "Are you sure? Check again." and I kept on checking. I was trembling at this point but finally, my brothers gets my mind off of it as he tels me he wants food (he's little so he can't do it himself) so I get up and I heat him his lunch. there was a plate for me also ut just the smell of his food made me wanna throw up. Then every word or noise became really bad. After a bit I became calmer but not really as a friend of mine (who got the tickets) was like saying that she would ave bought it and she was talking to me about it. I started studying and relaxed. At night, as I got into bed, I remember starting shivering really bad and being cold even though I had like four blankets, plus sheets and the cover of my bed and socks and all that on top of me and then I black out.

    The next morning I get up and I get really dizzy (no, it wasn't because I got up too fast), up to the point that I was blinded and had to sit down, or else I would fall. Then I feel really unweell and sick, like I was going to throw up but I really didn't. I've been feeling like unweel and sick for the past few days and now and then my heart pounds and I feel dizzy.

    Do you think it might have been a panick attack? It would mean a lot if you would get back at me :)

  356. Zoe, there is a book called 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers. I went through anxiety for years and still get moments every now and then, but this book really helped out a lot and set the ball rolling. I went from being a scared 18 year old to a confident 20 something. In fact in six months I will be a qualified Air Traffic Controller. If you told me that when I was 18 I would have laughed at you…keep blogging!!! :D

  357. Zoe, there is a book called 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers. I went through anxiety for years and still get moments every now and then, but this book really helped out a lot and set the ball rolling. I went from being a scared 18 year old to a confident 20 something. In fact in six months I will be a qualified Air Traffic Controller. If you told me that when I was 18 I would have laughed at you…keep blogging!!! :D

  358. H3!3N

    This was very helpful and it makes me feel less abnormal that someone else feels exactly how I do. I never had bad anxiety, until last summer I was 18, walking with my best friend and she got hit by a car. Ever sense then I get very bad panic attacks anywhere, even going to my best friends house or sometimes randomly at my own house by myself. I always felt alone and I remember during that summer there was a period were i just sat in bed fear of having panic attacks anywhere else. When i am having a panic attack I cannot have ANYONE talk to me, i get really bad if they do. The only thing different from yours from mine is that I throw up. Everyone of my panic attacks I throw up sometimes in front of people. It is very embarrassing, that's one reason why i fear going out in public. I did finally go to the doctors because i couldn't stand the feeling anymore. They did put my on some medication and I was fine for about 2 months Then I just stopped taking them, and about a month after I slowly started having panic attacks here and there. It was very bad, but I am on them again and taking care of the panic attacks! It is so scary, and hard to explain to anyone but you described it perfectly well!

  359. Fizz

    Wow just watched your video, well done so glad you did this, im 43 had suffered 17 years, i was really bad, i couldnt leave the house!!
    i still suffer today and i dont have a "life" anymore…i feel really old and wasted 17 years of my life. You are only young and teaching the younger generation is fantastic.
    When i was diagnosed with it no body had heard of it before.
    Just wished there had been info and people like you when i first had mine!
    I dont really have panics only once a while :) i suffer mainly with "anxiety" constantly its awful, and this stops me from doing anything if i could only be positive like you…
    you did a great job X

  360. Andrea

    Thank you so much for sharing this, I've had panic attacks since I was 10 years old and now I'm 18 so I know about everything you said, about every experience you've described, now I'm trying to finish with all this finally, and it's so hard because it really changes your life and it really doesn't let you do whatever you've been working for.. For example I'm a very perfectionist person and in the last year I was the first in my class because I really wanted to get high marks to get to the uni that I wanted, and finally because of all this anxiety I couldn't get to uni this year because I wasn't able to face the situation because I was really afraid of not being perfect and not entering to the uni that I wanted… so I'm recovering, because it's true, you feel less than everyone and I really feel so bad because all my friends who didn't do anything at class compared to me are in the uni while I'm not… And it's all because I didn't think i could do that, i didn't think i could pass the exam… And now i'm trying to win self-confidence because inside me I know I can, but i always feel like nothing I do or I am is enough.. But hopefully everything will be solved by this year's exam, which is in June, so well, after all this, just saying THANK YOU, you've always been such an example for me, and now that I know that you've been trough all this like me, it makes me ADMIRE you even more, thank you SO MUCH for all the advices!! <3

  361. Elxox

    i read this after your just say yes post and i just wanted to say thank you so much for both of these blogs i suffer from panic attacks and only really my family knows about it lately they have been getting worse and now even the thought of having a panic attack makes me panic but knowing that other people suffer to and reading peoples advice on how to deal with it really does help and puts me at ease Thank you!!!! xxxx

  362. As a sufferer of panic/anxiety attacks for about two years now, I can say that I really relate to and appreciate this post. Just last night, my best friend was over, and I had a panic attack. He didn't know what to do, and so he just held me and tried to calm me down as best as he could. I'm going to show him this post, and hopefully it'll help him understand a little bit more what's going on when I have these attacks, so he's not just sitting in the dark, confused and worried. Thank you for making this post, as it can be related to by many people around the world, and as it is very informative to the person having the attack, and to the person witnessing the attack and trying to help. It's really great c:

  363. I've been suffering from them for 2 years, do you take medication for panic attacks zoella??!

  364. very inspiring, to be honest it helped my out a lot! because i do suffer with them an from following an all this i have decided to say yes and see what i can do with my life :)
    i need to get myself out there so i have started my own blog just to get myself going thankyou zoe..

    http://pippjones281190.blogspot.co.uk/

  365. Panic Attacs & Axiety My Story

    So my panic attacs started, when school started this year. Or I'm not sure because it might have started earlier, but now it's much worse. Anyway It happens basically in school when I have to performe in front of everyone (I have to performe dancing too sometimes, but that's not as scary as reading my essays in front of my class, because then my heart starts beating really fast and I can't speak properly, my voice sounds like a sheep one and i feel like i'm gonna throw up) and I am always preventing these moments, like when my teacher wants me to read something I'm always saying no I don't want to, but sometimes I have to listen the teacher and still read the sentence, and it's just awful. At first I thought that I had hyperthyroidism, because my mom has it and it's a disorder that may be passed on from parents to children. But then I got my blood taken and everything was okay. So I googled my sympthoms and that's how I found out that I have Panic Attacks & Anxiety. By the way last week was my birthday, so I am fifteen now. And I am afraid of going to school everyday, because of the Panic Attacs. I'm going to have oral exams goming up and we have other hard performings that are goming up. So I wanna do something about it and enjoy my perfomances next time cause that is what I use to like to do.

    -Janne, from Estonia

  366. I've just been writing a comment under a video. But now I must thank you on your blog again. I suffer for 2 years to recurrent panic attacks. The first time it happened when I was sitting in a crowded train. My whole body has been restless, my heart ached and I had limbs ache. I went to different doctors but all I said Währe physically healthy. After a year of the diagnosis, the doctor hired to be my psyche. Since I am being treated by a psychologist, but I still panic when I'm in train and bus. I will then just get out just yet. I hate situations where I can not escape. Bad it is at school. 120 minutes sitting in a classroom. Everyone would look at me when I run out suddenly. Thank you that you write about your fear. I read your blog for some time. Now I do not feel quite so alone.

  367. wow thanks i get panic attacks and this is really useful, its good to no i'm not the only one who experiences panic attacks xxx

  368. I'm about the same age as you and I've been having them since I was 12 too – I had the same disheartening experience with doctors when I finally bothered to go. They did the same to me, explained what a panic attack was (even though I obviously already knew!) and on two occasions I was told to cut down on caffeine even though I explained that I don't drink caffeine. I also experienced a spell of going through declining all invitations to everything and never leaving the house just incase. I also asked for alternatives to taking medicine, but they didn't want to help me :( The NHS really don't seem to recognise it as a legitimately debilitating condition x

  369. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I suffered from panic attacks for many years in my early twenties right up to early thirties and I really regret not seeking help earlier as I thought I could control it by myself. I recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's the only therapy that enabled me to deal with the attacks, understand what was happening and allow me to live a normal life. Like you, visiting the GP made me feel worse as the doctor I saw was very ill informed. He even misdiagnosed me with having malaria and gave me pills for that! This put me off seeking help from the medical profession, which I think is terrible.

    If you suffer from anxiety, don't wait for it to get better. Seek the appropriate help. x

  370. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I suffered from panic attacks for many years in my early twenties right up to early thirties and I really regret not seeking help earlier as I thought I could control it by myself. I recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's the only therapy that enabled me to deal with the attacks, understand what was happening and allow me to live a normal life. Like you, visiting the GP made me feel worse as the doctor I saw was very ill informed. He even misdiagnosed me with having malaria and gave me pills for that! This put me off seeking help from the medical profession, which I think is terrible.

    If you suffer from anxiety, don't wait for it to get better. Seek the appropriate help. x

  371. lainev

    Wow, really you've helped me a lot with this post. I've even written about my own experience of panic attacks on my own (dutch) blog. Everything you say makes so much sense, I experience my own panic attacks the same way as you do, and we've got a lot in common I can tell by the way you handle your own ''disorder'' (I dislike that word). I hope you're doing fine now, and I keep this post as a reminder that I am not alone in this. Thank you, so so so much! Love Madelaine (The Netherlands).

  372. Hi Zoe, I thank you so much for touching on an area which literally affects over 30 million people worldwide. My name is Coach Dwayne, America’s #1 Expert Anxiety Coach and I would like to offer this video to help you to overcome those horrifying panic attacks the next time they occur. I hope it helps: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLs4YTfnWFg&feature=plcp
    Also, I would like to give you a book I’ve written called, “The Origin of Fear: Understanding How Fear Develops”. It’s free (no cost) just click the link underneath the video. This book answers the origin of fear and what causes panic attacks and how to prevent them. So I hope you enjoy reading it. Here is my email if you should have any questions: FearNotCoach@gmail.com. Zoe, take care and please keep up the fantastic work! Best Wishes. –Coach Dwayne

  373. Hey Zoe! Its my first time here. I suffer panic attacks and anxiety since middle school; I think its started from peer pressure and family problems at the time but the symptoms exist till this day. My current strategy is to limit any social interaction as possible(only 5 – 8 minutes per person) or if I'm feeling calm enough I'll make it a whole day but only with one person. I've tried hypnotherapy but it didn't work; the places that get my adrenaline pump are new people(walking pass me, staring at me, sitting in the same room or class), and being alone in a crowd(when in contradiction I often walk by myself; in order to prevent any kind of panic attacks and anxiety induce by making a friendly conversation with someone I barely know), my old school, kids with uniforms, certain type of voice and voice inflection, certain types of clothing on a person, certain types of hair; I guess it originates of someone I fear in my past but its too blurry to remember his/her face.

  374. Hi! I'm just reading your comment and agree with you completely! People's small minded attitudes can be one of the hardest things with panic attacks. I ended up having to take a lot of time off school when I was particularly bad, which lead to many rumours about my whereabouts starting, which then adds more pressure to you, which leads to more panic! Thanks so much Zoella for speaking out about this and allow people who may not suffer from anxiety to see that anybody can suffer from anxiety and panic and hopefully this may lift some of the stigma attached to mental problems.
    Marianne

    http://dancinganddreaming.blogspot.ie/

  375. I have already previously commented, but having read the article a second time, I thought I'd mention, in case it helps anybody at all, I was once one of those people who's panic was so bad I never left the house. I sat in for about 6 months maybe, gave up college, and really just spent all day in my room on the computer avoiding everything. If anybody may be reading this who is like that now, there s light at the end of the tunnel! I have since returned to college (I'm now in my second year), met an amazing guy, moved in with him, go out when I want, where I want and live a perfectly normal life. Ok, days are hard, I can still suffer from panic, but I have improved a million percent from what I previously was when I thought really that I'd be like that forever. I did have to push myself and do things that I would have much preferred to avoid at first, there were many tears and down days, but it was totally worth it to have control back in my life again. Again, thanks so much Zoe for making this post, you are so brave! xxx
    Marianne

    http://dancinganddreaming.blogspot.ie/

  376. Megan B

    A HUGE THANK YOU ZOE! I suffer from major panic attacks/anxiety. It gets me down all the time but I'm so glad you could write this. You've written this post really well so thank you gorgeous <3

  377. Hello,

    I found this blog post very helpful and interesting because I get to understand why people behave in such a way. I really like your blog by the way, reading these posts gives me a new found confidence.

    Kind Regards, Courtenay.

  378. Hi Zoe! Your post was so wonderful! You are such a brave person for writing this!

    I have suffered from social anxiety/plain ole anxiety for years! Its hard for me to remember how it all got started since it was so long ago!! i believe it began Whilst I was in my 1st or 2nd grade class. I dont remember too much but I do remember the teacher calling on me for something simple *such as a 1 word answer*. If I am not mistaken,he had asked for the correct spelling of a colour (Pink perhaps).

    Ever since then, I have been super nervous to speak inpublic.
    I used to only whisper.

    I remember my parents taking me to *not 1 but a whopping total of 4 diferent therapists!!* and they tried EVERYTHING they possibly could but nothing helped.
    I was even put on 3 or 4 different meds. (not at the same time) and none of them seemed to help.

    Eventuall I developed OCD & the fear or sick.

    Today I suffer from the fear of sick/social anixety/as well as the lovely panic attack disorder. I used to have re/occouring panic attacks almost daily! I was absoutly terrified to speak (at all) in public,go to a friends house,and a countless number of many other things.I had panic attacks:
    At home
    my friends
    in public
    at the supermarket
    laying in bed at night
    & so many other places.

    Thanks to your blog post/videos as well as a few others, I am slowly learning how to deal with these things.

  379. Kate

    I know this is a very late reply to this, but I read this blog entry and watched your related video and I just wanted to say thank you so much for posting both. :)

  380. This is a very clear a post, thank you! I suffered with these for about year; it normally hit me just after going to bed at night (although it once happened in a lecture theatre with 200 students – so embarrassing running out and everybody staring).

    At this time I was also having problems with my heart – nothing major or even dangerous – but I ended up in A&E a couple of times. To this day I'm not sure if the panic attacks happened due to my dodgy heart, or if they simply fed on one another, e.g. anxiety making my heart beat faster, and knowing my heart was beating fast making me anxious as I didn't want to end up in hospital again.

    However, due to the heart issues I was put on beta-blockers, and this also had the added bonus of stopping the panic attacks. Beta-blockers (in my case bisoprolol) are an adrenergic antagonist – so basically reduce the amount of adrenaline released. No panic attacks since, though I still have moments of high anxiety (*cough* big roundabouts!).

    I now study postgraduate neuroscience and did my undergraduate degree in psychology; I'm very unsuggestable so hypnotherapy does not work on me (and therefore may not work for some of you). While in my case the drugs have helped it may be due to the underlying medical condition, and drugs do not help you solve the cause of your attacks, they just contain the symptoms. If you start drug treatment you may also run the risk of becoming scared to stop, believing your attacks won't be able to stop without them – this is also not good! CBT is scientifically proven to be a great type of counselling so that would be my first choice of therapy for people to try. But obviously different things work for different people!

    Char x

  381. skelly

    I had my first ever panic attck in a geography exam yesterday and it was so frightening. I felt like I was trapped and couldnt beathe. Afterwards when I left the exam early I felt so embarrassed and I still do. I feel like people are definetly talking about me and why I over reacted to an unimportant exam. Do you have advice about how to deal with people talking about you having anxiety?
    This post was so helpful I didnt know anything about was happening to me before I read this so thank you so very much xxxx

  382. Great info Zoella

    My name is Dennis Simsek and i'm writing with an interest to help each get other message out to more followers through a link exchange or otherwise. I have written an eBook about my experiences as a Professional tennis Player battling Generalized anxiety disorder and Panic, while at the same time trying to raise a family. Since my 6 year struggle as a professional athlete dealing with anxiety I have since gotten on the road to recovery and am now spreading my story and steps that have worked for me naturally. The ups and downs of my eBook are complemented by video blogs, written blogs, forums and chats, an inspire page and more that will help sufferers gain inspiration through the many tools on my website.

    We've launched our website on Dec 15th and already have an ever increasing daily number of people on our mailing lists, as well as social media sites. If you would be interested in talking further on how we can possibly work together to spread our messages to each others followers I would be extremely grateful and happy, thanks so much for your time.

    Dennis Simsek
    The Anxious Athlete
    http://www.anxious-athlete.com

  383. Thank you Zoe! It's always nice to have a reminder that your not alone in how you feel. I spend so much time in my house because of my social anxiety. I've only ever had one panic attack and I hope I never have one again and if I do – I'd like to not be alone when it happens.

    <3

  384. Thank you so much. I deal with panic attacks and they are truly horrible. I once had one watching TV and I was so close to having one on an art trip to London. It was when we went to Tate Britain and Tate Modern with a few other selected students; I was sitting next to my best friend. It was in November, not too long ago, and they had informed us to keep our cellphones on and that they have battery in case of an emergency. They then told us that there were some serious floods and that we had to text our parents.
    Whilst the driver was telling us this, I just felt the panic attack creeping up on me. It seemed everyone was crowding around me and the noise of contestant talking about what could happened just got louder and echoed. I started to breath rapidly but. fortuantly, my best friend who also expirences panic attacks saw what was happening and helped me. She made me only focus on what she was saying, nothing else, and everything was going to be fine. I tuned out of everything else, put my under the coach curtain and against the window. 10 minutes later I was ready to face the coach again. It just panicked me… I didn't know what to do. I am only 13…

    Reading your post has helped me so much, I even started to cry towards the end of it. I am not alone. Having a best friend who can relate to you is really nice – you don't feel left out. Thank you.
    x

  385. Hi Zoe!
    I doubt you will actually see this or read this, but I watched your YouTube video and read this about anxiety and panic attacks. I really wanted to thankyou because I get a lot of anxiety and I have had a panic attack. It happened during school when I was taking a very important test that I had studied very hard for and I almost fainted because I felt so dizzy. I have been afraid of bridges, any sort of public transportation, and people rushing towards anywhere. I have been very afraid of doing anything scary or new because I am scared I may get an attack again. Bottom-line is I wanted to thankyou for what you have said and I am starting to feel more confident. Thankyou becuase I felt really alone and you made me feel a lot better.

  386. I have a phobia of sick and high anxiety. I'm 14 and have had it since I was 10, it's affected my school life a lot and have been to numerous councillors and therapists. I've been to a hypnotherapist recently and it helped short term but after about a week it stopped, I'm starting cognitive therapy and hoping it will work. I watched your Youtube videos before knowing you had a blog and before you did the video. Before them I didn't know anyone that had it but then you saying you had the same kind of thing made me really happy especially as you wouldn't have guessed you did before the video/ blog post. Thanks for sharing your insight.

  387. TY so much! Now i know im not the only one that suffers this kind of things. In 2011 i spent my christmas with panic attacks and really bad from my anxiety. Now I know how to control them but they will always be there. TY

  388. great post.
    mine are kind of similar triggered by sick,so when people around me are sick family friends I panic.
    It stops me from doing things my friends want to go to the amusement parks but I don't want to go for the fear of being sick on a ride so I have still never been on a ride.
    I also get panic when I can't move and its like an silence so assemblies and tests. which then I can't do my tests because that's the last thing your worrying about and then I start to feel sick which is a no so sets of the cycle again.and now i'm coming to GCSE year so i'm starting my mocks soon and the real tests I have no idea how I will manage.

  389. this was a massive eye opener to me, i thought i was the only person in the whole world to feel certain things regarding a panic attack, like i know people suffer with them but i thought my symptoms where just me. its amazing to see how many people feel the same. ive had them for 4 and a half years now and it started when i was driving on the motorway i felt dizzy thought i was going to pass out then my mind thought about my phobias such as needles and passing out i felt worse and i exaggerated every thought in my head by a bout a million. ive made myself put up with them for this long and they did start to get a bit better after about 2 years, i still had them, but i was able to control them, but just recently they have gotten worse where i wont go anywhere i wont get on a train, on the tube, on the bus, i wont drive, im terrified of flying i just dont want to put myself in any situation in case i panic and feel those horrible feelings. My mum eventually made me go to the drs and seek advice and he has referred me to a counsellor which i am going to see on wednesday, i am quite looking forward to it cos i want my life back! i spoke to the lady on the phone just before christmas and asked me some questions and diagnosed me with mild depression and severe anxiety. she told me worrying and panic was mostly a learned experience and is easy to get out of once finding the correct ways of doing it. I hope all of you seek advice too cos this has really made me take that big first step with positivity and excitement!

    Leanne :) xxx

  390. such a beautiful post zoe :) I have had panic attacks before and suffer from anxiety of a different kind but still much the same :) knowing that someone out there is able to remain positive really gives me hope that I will one day be able to too :) much loveee xoxo

  391. Cat

    I read this just after I had my first panic attack. It was terrifying but reading this made me feel 100% better about the whole situation. Thank you so much for writing this post. :) xx

    cat-throughacatseyes.blogspot.co.uk

  392. Gaja

    I have the same thing ://

  393. Thank you for this blog post on anxiety attacks. I cannot imagine how hard it must be. I am getting my masters of Psychology (in the next two years) , this post helped me to understand anxiety for a person's point of view instead of a textbook's point of view. Hope and pray that the behavioral therapy will continue to help. If someone needs more information about treatment: if you are in the United States the American Psychological Association is a great place to start looking for doctors in your area. It has an online website: http://www.apa.org. Again, thank you for opening up and I pray that the attacks get fewer every year.

  394. Hi this is such a well written post!

    So nice of you to post it to help other people. I have started a blog which is for people who have these problems to just write about how they are dealing with them..It can be found on blogger and is called Let's Beat Panic Together!

    Ryan

  395. Thank you for sharing Zoe! I always find it comforting when I'm reminded I'm not the anxious girl in the world (although I'm sure you'll agree it often feels that way). I'm sorry to hear you had a bad NHS experience. I was offered eight sessions of CBT on the NHS and it's going well! It's called First Steps, but I'm not sure if it's a nation-wide programme or specific to the North West? It might be worth while looking into. Wishing you lots of luck and strength on your journey to recovery. XXX

  396. Zoella,
    I have noticed that recently I've become a lot more panicky and not able to control my stress level. So I really REALLY found this helpful and I'm so glad you wrote this because reading this made me so much more calm and able to relax myself. I also recently started talking to a therapist, and was soo embarrassed because I thought people would think something was wrong with me and I had like major issues, but after reading this I've realized that nothing is wrong with having someone to talk to about things like this that I'm experiencing. It doesn't make me look stupid or weak, it's just something that helps me and that's perfectly O.K. You also really helped me know how to stay in control and calm myself down when I feel like my brain is moving faster than I am. You've helped me realize my own strength in these things that I deal with and I THANK YOU SO MUCH. <33

  397. it is so refreshing for someone to openly discuss something that is so taboo!
    you should be so proud of how many people have openly related to your own experience and felt that they can openly talk about it without feeling silly :)

    http://lettersonapostcard.blogspot.co.uk/

  398. I'm still learning from you, but I try to reach my goals. Since then enjoy reading all the information that appears on your blog.Keep come. Loved it!combating depression

  399. You have really inspired me to talk about my experiences with living with anxiety.
    You are so brave to talk about your issues in order to help us! Its so reassuring to realise that there are others in the same sort of situation and to relate to them! I have OCD, even though our situations are different they are all about anxiety!
    Thank you!!

    Its probably really boring to anyone else, but writing this blog about living and coping with OCD really made me feel good about it, like a sort of writing therapy, a release. Anyone in the same boat should do one! :) phewf!
    http://rosiepose369.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/living-with-ocd.html

  400. Thank you ever so muc for posting this! This has helped me sooo much. I watched your video about panic attacks as well and the way you described how it makes you feel is so true! I seriously can't thank enough for posting this! I was just wondering if you had any tips for dealing with depression? As I suffer with flashes of depression every now and then… It has been going on for a few years now… I hope you do have some tips for me as this video and post helped me so much :) hope your take my suggestion on board I would really appreciate it. Thank you again babe :)

    Kayleigh xo

  401. Thank you, for trying to bring this into the light. I suffer from extreme panic attacks and anxiety, and it's really hard on me physically and emotionally. I have months upon months feeling like the only way out is if I die, the only way to make it all stop is if I just somehow stop breathing and drift into eternal sleep. I know that sounds depressing but it's a constant thing, I have 8+ panic attacks on a good day. Most people around me don't understand that though, and assume I'm overreacting, and in a sense I am. I just wish more people could open their minds to understand, and help instead of judging those who they don't fully understand.

  402. Thank you so much for posting this. I could never explain to someone how I feel and how my panic attacks effect me but this is perfect! I am currently in the situation where I turn down everything for fear of going out and having a panic attack so my friends and family have just stopped inviting me to stuff and it makes me feel really bad. I'm working with a doctor but it seems to be no help at all… I found for me that if I start having a panic attack, I do slow deep breathing and just talk. Call someone, go hang out at a coworkers desk, anything to just keep me talking and most of the time it will calm me down. I'm hoping I can get control of my anxiety but thank you again for posting this because it makes me feel better that I'm not alone. Thank you!

  403. I suffer from really unrelated panic attacks, they are becoming more frequent and this really helped. Thanks! I did try and send this to some one and they refused to read it, I wasn't pleased, but it's helped me and I hope you can help many more people as well. Thank you again!

    xx

  404. Emma

    I have read this post god knows how many times and felt it would be rude not to ever comment. So I know you wrote this a long time ago but I just want to say thank you because it still helps me.

    There have been very few people that have been able to put into words exactly what it is like, but you sum it up perfectly! Whenever I feel like I'm alone in it, or I've just had one and I'm feeling pretty crap about myself I generally always come back and read this post. It just lifts my spirits a little and reminds me that it might not be normal but it happens to a lot of people!

    For some reason I had very few panic attacks during my 3 years at uni despite the fact I was 8 hours away from home, I really thought I was finished with them but since graduating last summer and moving home they seem to have returned and worse than ever. This post really does help and I'm so grateful that I can come and have a little read whenever I feel they are getting me down and just know that I'm not the only one!

    Emma xx

  405. Hi
    I found your post very enlightening from the view of a person who has suffered from panic attacks & sharing your experiences has and will continue to help others who suffer from theses attacks.
    A book that maybe of interest is a book which is written by Dr Roger Baker Understanding Panic Attacks & Overcoming Fear. This book is easy to read & I found this so beneficial in understanding panic attacks and the fear associated with the fear of a panic attack.

    This article on What Causes Fear In Your Life would explain about fear and also how anxiety differ.

    All the best
    Trudy

  406. Hi
    I found your post very enlightening from the view of a person who has suffered from panic attacks & sharing your experiences has and will continue to help others who suffer from theses attacks.
    A book that maybe of interest is a book which is written by Dr Roger Baker Understanding Panic Attacks & Overcoming Fear. This book is easy to read & I found this so beneficial in understanding panic attacks and the fear associated with the fear of a panic attack.

    This article on What Causes Fear In Your Life would explain about fear and also how anxiety differ.

    All the best
    Trudy

  407. Dearest Zoe,

    What a brave young woman you are to share your experiences about suffering for Anxiety and Panic Disorder. Bravo! Even though you are both young enough to be my daughters I've been a fan of yours (and Louises')for the past 2+ years or so. I stumbled upon your videos a while back while teaching myself to set up a blog page for my Life Coaching business. You both gave great advice and made it FUN! I always tell my niece Jade – soon to be 22- that YOU are the British version of her!

    It is really refreshing to see this side of you. As a licensed clinician, I am sure you have helped a lot of people with this blog post and your video by bringing both awareness and "normality" to something that feels so abnormal. I am thrilled to hear that you were courageous enough to seek help and that life is getting easier and better for you! If I can ever be of assistance, do drop me a line anytime. My contact information is below.

    Cheers!

    ~ Robin Adair

    http://www.facebook.com/robinadairlifecoaching
    http://www.robinadairlifecoaching.com

  408. Holly

    I want to say so much but genuinely i cant bring myself to say it, so i will just say aswell, to those helping someone who is having this experience, keep your voice low and talk slowly. Dont crack stupid jokes. They dont work.

    Thanks Zoe :)

  409. Thank you Zoella, this helped me so much! My panic attacks were only tiggered around 4 weeks ago and at first i didn't even know that it was panic attacks i was having. This post helped me to understand them better myself and Its nice to have someone else that i look up to so much know and understand what i'm going through. x

  410. That was an amazing post and thanks for the helping you provide form it, I'm suffering from anxiety and small, though often panic attack when I'm in a crowded place, but also have a close friend who panics everytime she feels pressure on her (mostly about school tests and other kind of exams) and know I know what to tell her to calm her down, so thank you :)
    Also what happens/can you do if you have a panic attack because you are thinking about an other place/time where you had a panic attack or you were embarrassed or feeling really uncomfortable?

  411. I've never known about panic attacks before, and I've heard of anxiety, but never understood it. Thank you for telling me this so if I have an attack or if my friend does, I know what to do. I hope you can find a doctor who can help you along with the cookies (attacks) so you won't have to live in fear of the cookies. Once again, thank you.

  412. Zoe thank you so much for this! I´ve been having panic attacks for the past 5 years and I totally understand how awful it is. I´ve managed to control them recently, but there were times when it was really hard since I had to deal with them alone.
    No one understood, and even today, no one near me understands. It made me very sad that my parents wanted to help me but they were scared, so no matter how many times I tried to explain, they always changed the topic or said something like "don´t start with that, if you feel like that then you need to see a doctor". I love them, but those words didn´t actually help me.
    Things got really bad last year with my ex because he was very immature and blamed me for everything and always made me feel like a freak. But after saving myself from a terrible relationship, I decided to embark on a spiritual journey. And now, a year later, I can tell you that I am so much better. Not perfectly well, but it´s the best I´ve been in a very long time.
    Once again, thank you so much for writing this post. I love your blog and your videos
    Big kiss
    Dany

  413. I just watched your video on this and I came here to read this, too. I find it strange how accurate your explanations of your experiences are such alike compared to mine. I suffer from a variation of anxiety disorders as well as some form of depression but I've always been convinced that my panic attacks are the hardest to deal with. I first started having daily full-blown panic attacks since I was about 14 years old as well (I'm 18 now). I think my first panic attack ever probably took place when I was about 10 or 11 years old, but it wasn't until I was 14 until things started to get really serious. I've always dealt with other mental and emotional issues regarding OCD and depression but my parents didn't fully acknowledge these problems until I was 15 years old, refusing to leave my bed, even to eat or go to school. You talked about having a phobia of vomit and I do too; I've honestly never heard anyone say that who actually meant it. I've had friends who've tried to convince me that they relate to the same phobia but I can honestly tell you that they really just didn't fully understand, even though I wanted to believe that they did. It's a nice feeling know that someone else honestly shares the same irrational fear as me.

    I'll admit that I'm mostly writing out this extremely long comment just for myself, but if anyone DOES read this, hoping to find some kind of reassurance, maybe it'll help to let you know that even though it's only been four years since all of this really begun for me (it sounds like a long time, but when I think about it, it's really not as long as it seems), I've still managed to recover to a point of almost normalcy. I do see a psychiatrist, but talking about my problems to people who haven't gone through the same thing as me doesn't usually help me (I know it sounds wrong and perhaps cocky, but I'm just being honest). I take a lot of medication daily to deal with all of my "problems," but the medication that helps the most for me is Xanax. I'm fully aware that I use it as a crutch but as long as it helps, I don't really care. I do not have full blown panic attacks every day anymore. I will still panic slightly whenever I find myself in an uncomfortable situation or area, but it is by far not as bad as it has been in the past. Delicate things like these do take time, but it's more than worth it. I've not only been able to grab some of my old life back, but I'm beginning to build a new one.

    Sorry for my ramble… the way you've talked about this issue so bravely has really inspired me and made me feel less alone, so thank you so much.

  414. you should try look up the "rewind technique" x

  415. Rachel

    Wow… I've watched your video on this subject a million times because, though I'd had panic attacks in the past here and there, I only started having them regularly in April, and I didn't realize how similar our stories were. I, too, had a bad party experience in my teens that made it impossible for me to go out and "party" like a "normal" person. I recently put myself back in therapy to try and improve. Thanks for this!

  416. I have been suffering with panic disorder for over two years now. I have always felt so alone in this and even though you can get support from other people it's you who can make any changes to better yourself. Reading your post has helped me realize that there are other people that suffer from this disorder too and it made me want to better myself and have a better life. I was always scared of speaking up about my problems and none of my friends know about my disorder. This isn't good as it's making me feel more alone and crap. I have just started writing a blog documenting my panic attacks and my journey to a better me (if any of you would like to have a look my blog is destinationbetterme.wordpress.com). I hope all of you who suffer from panic attacks or panic disorder keep strong and believe that we can get better! <3 Thank you Zoella for this post, you are an inspiration. Take care! <3

  417. I can relate to this so much.
    I really appreciate the honesty.
    Anxiety can completely take over my life sometimes,
    & people tell me I'm being a drama queen.
    It's nice to relate.

    Why don't you drink Zoella?
    I can't drink either.

  418. I don't suffer myself but my friend does and really want some advice, how can i talk privately to you, xxx

  419. Recently a friend of mine told me she suffered from panic attacks. I had seen your video about it, and I wanted to show it to her hoping it would somehow make her feel better but she can't really understand english (We're french). So I remembered you talking about this blog post in the video and translated it into french for my friend. She told me she could really see herself in what you wrote and it had made her feel better about it. And I learned a lot too. She thanked me about a billion times for the translation so I wanted to thank you as well ! :-)

  420. My friend was at my house and she had a really bad social anxiety attack. Once she had calmed down I had her read this and she started crying. I really apreciate the help you have given in understanding what was happening. I have minor anxiety but not as bad as you or my friend and now i know what to do and how to deal with it. My friend also has had less attacks since listening to what you said on how to avoid them.
    Thank you!
    ~Anna~

  421. Thank you sooo much Zoe. I have a friend who often gets panic attacks. I would get so scared not knowing what to do or what was going on. But after i have red this i feel like i truly understands her. And because of your advice i now know exactly how to help her in the situation, and i doesn't panic. I understands her now thanks to you, now i know what she is really going through. This has brought us closer together, actually she is my best friend today, and she is getting better and the panic attacks are getting fewer. Sometimes i wonder if i had never red this if our relationship would had lasted, because i used to get really scared, and now it feels amazing to say she is my best friend and we understand eachother completly. I couldn't have done it without you!
    THANK YOU SO MUCH ZOE
    Lots of love, xx
    Natalie, a happy girl who has gotten closer to a friend for life

  422. I suffer from panic attacks and a phobia of being ill/sick and other people being sick, too. I've just read through this post and just cried. You're so inspiring and I've finally got hope that people do understand and I'm not alone.
    Thank you. x

  423. I've been having panic attacks on and off since I was 9 years old so for about 7 years and for a while I didn't know what they were since I was so young. I've recently found out that the reason for it is that I have social anxiety which makes me have panic attacks in interactive places. This post has really helped a lot because it explains so well so of the things I have felt. This was an amazing post and has really made me feel a lot more better about having panic attacks it's nice to know it's not something that is uncommon.

  424. Thank you for this Zoe, I had a panic attack for the first time a few weeks ago and haven't had one since, although we have been off from school. I'm 14 and honestly had NO idea what to do, I thought I was going mental but this has helped me realise and understand things so much better, so thank you Zoe, you're my inspiration<3

  425. Thank you so much for this post. I suffer badly with anxiety/panic attacks and also have a huge phobia of being sick. Im currently about to start CBT and i really hope it helps me.
    Sometimes I struggle to even go out and enjoy myself. I guess its all about telling yourself you can do it and that nothing bad is going to happen. However that is alot easier said then done!
    That feeling of panic is the worst feeling in the world. Its nice to know that we aren't on our own and that lots of people are going through the same thing.

    xxxxx

    http://prettylittledoodahs.blogspot.co.uk

  426. Thank you so for posting this! I also suffer from anxiety, for a few years now, and I've learned how to calm myself before I reach a panic attack (but I will still have anxiety). I'm so glad you posted this, and I'm excited that you posted it on YouTube as well! I'm new to YT (xoxocarolina92), I post fashion videos, and I'm considering starting to post more personal videos. I'll be posting the "50 facts about me" video this weekend, and now I'm rambling.
    Thank you again so much for posting this!

  427. Abby

    Thank you so much! I have had panic attacks and high anxiety. Its good to know im not the only one and I have learned some new stuff on how attacks work. Thank you

  428. Excellent break down of panic attacks. Thanks for being so open and honest.

    So many people, myself included, either go through anxiety and panic attacks daily or have in the past. A key is to recognize when a panic attack is occurring, realize that it will not hurt you and know that it will soon pass. I know that is easier said than done, but the more you practice, the more you can begin to disempower the attacks and over time you can start to get your life back.

    Anxiety and panic attacks are very scary and can really make life a daily struggle. I know first hand, I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for almost 3 years before I was able to overcome my symptoms. It wasn't easy, but I was able to eliminate my symptoms about 7 years ago. In an effort to help others, I put up a website MyAnxietyDefinition.com

    I sincerely hope that you too can eliminate your symptoms of anxiety and wish you all the best!

  429. Wow. Your youtube video sent me here, but my comment became waaaay too long so instead of deleting it, I decided to put it here. Hope that's okay!! Anyway, I hate myself for initially being pessimistic about the video. Youtube seems to be flooded with girls selling their looks for views or ad revenue. But you are being SO real. Your intentions really showed, including your kindness. With that said the actual content is excellent and I'm so glad to see how it's helping many out there.

    Personally it's only happened to me a few nights when I was a teen. I believe it was related to a parent committing suicide, but that was 2 years prior. I think I was just in denial and never came to terms with the reality before my consciousness just collapsed and I gave in to the fear, finally inducing a full-blown panic attack. The worst part is the lip numbness/tingling as if you're passing out… And every thought just snowballing the entire process. "OH GAWD, MY HEARTS BEATING HARD, I MUST BE HAVING A HEART ATTACK (continue to panic even more)". You can know and tell yourself that your thoughts, fear & reactions are irrational, you just can't seem to control yourself. I have nothing but great sympathy for people out there fighting anxiety off to not let it a hindrance to living life.

    I can't say for everyone, but for me, I think most of the fear stemmed from the feeling of not being in control. I had to teach myself to accept and come to terms with that reality. In the bigger picture, accept that there is so much in life that you have absolutely no control over. That fact at first might seem scary by itself, but the more you think about it, the more it calming it should be. Accept what's going on, don't fight against it, and most importantly (which you've probably already discovered) REALIZE YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    It's a physically harmless event, your brain just going full-retard and causing these chemicals to feel the way you're feeling. It's happened a million times to a million different people.

    But now, you have all the information online you need. Your next step is to TALK to someone about it. I can't stress that enough… I regret never doing so, I barely even understood what happened before your video and further reading up on the topic now 10 years later. There may very well be an underlying issue that you haven't worked out in life and could be the root cause to not just your anxiety, but your overall happiness.

    Peace& love from Denmark :)

  430. Jess

    I only read a little bit of this but i watched your video I feel like i have mild panic attacks sometimes especially when I'm alone in bed and sometimes at night in my dreams that's weird but it's true. i just want to say its amazing that you posted something like this because you have to know you are helping a lot of people:) you are so brave and awesome thank you!

  431. thanks for writing this post zoe. it was hard for me to confront with this but it makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that im not the only one who experiences it. i also have a huge huge huge phobia of being sick and others being sick too. im really glad you blogged about this is issue. power to you zoe! thank you very much x

  432. i showed this post and your video to my friends because i do get panic attacks, quite frequently, since then they have been so much more supportive and it has really helped everyone understand more, picked up my confidence a lot to be honest, thank you so much for posting this. it was brave xxx

  433. Hey Zoe!
    I want to thank you soooo much for posting this. It has been sooo helpful. My best friend had all of the same things you have and it's been REALLY hard for me because I have never been able to understood everything that she has been going through until now. Its also been really difficult for me because I wish I could help her, but I've never known what I can do. And I never realized how many things (that I myself have done) can trigger it. So Thank you soo much <3
    ps. you are absolutly beautiful and sweet!
    You have really been a blessing to my friend :)

    Michaela xxx

  434. To Zoe,

    I recently found out that I suffer from Panics Attacks, Anxiety and Depression. This is a really poopy time in my life, I am writing to you about something that I had never experienced in my life.

    It started a few months back when I watched your 'Dealing with Panic Attacks & Anxiety video. I remember sitting in front of my laptop thinking "why would something horrible happen to someone so nice and so friendly?". Now 4 months later I realized I had it as well. My first panic attack was a month ago in school. I was in second period/lesson of the day on a Friday, I had just fallen out with one of my best friends and horrible things were going through my head. My class and I were cooking for a test, the whole room was roasting. There was vegetable knifes everywhere and boiling pans, My brain saw these as a sign of danger. The roasting hot room went to feeling like th South Pole in a couple of seconds. I started shivering and my fingers went tingly and I started breathing really heavily. My partner for cooking was asking if I was okay, but I couldn't hear her properly. She pulled a chair out from under the worktops and I sat down. My teacher came over and asked if I had finished. My friend had to tell her that I hadn't finished and that she didn't know what was going on. This lasted for about 10 minutes until I started answering some questions. My whole class had finished their cooking and they were surrounding me, this made me feel worse on everything was closing in so I ran out of the classroom. My teacher ran after me and asked me a few questions, but I didn't reply this was because I had burst out in to another panic. Everyone in my school started calling me names and this is when my depression started. I had been bullied most of my life but this is the worst its got. Everytime i walked into school my registration class would call me names like 'Quiet Bitch, Attention seeking Whore etc.' I hated this and the only way I thought I could solve this was to hurt myself, for example, cutting my hip where it hurts most, scratching my arms and even bruising myself just to feel some sort of pain on the outside, to remind myself that I am human and I do feel things on the outside as well. Things kept getting worse and worse and my anxiety hit, I was too anxious to go outside into public, and i didn't want to show face in school.

    That's My Story xx

    I obviously do still suffer from panic attacks, anxiety and depression and it still hurts as much as it did then, but then i realized that i do have friends. Not everyone hates me. I am now back to being best friends with the one i fell out with and i've now got a lot more friends than i used to. Including you. Zoe you have been a great help and kept me strong since, I now live by your saying 'Just Say Yes' and i do. I have started plenty more sports clubs, and everything so far since has been great, apart from the panic attacks and anxiety and depression, but they don't count. I want you to know that i have big dreams for the future and i'm going to stick by them no matter how unrealistic they are. JUST SAY YES!!

    I wrote this to you to remind you that you are my inspiration. Thank You so Much Zoe!!

    Please get in touch with me through twitter @its_rachel_xx

    Yours Sincerely, Rachel Armstrong, Age 12 xx

  435. It's really nice to know I'm not alone. I have only been suffering for a short ammount of time, but the advice really helped. I just feel lucky that the people I'm around know how to help me abd calm me down. It's given me more confidence and means I know that I can still do things I want to do. Thank you Zoe :) xxxx I watched your video too and it was brilliant. Thanks for sharing all of this, it really helps

  436. Lily X

    It's funny (not in a haha way.. in a weird way) I read this post when you first put it up and felt awful for you and thought about how hard it must have been.. but i couldn't sympathise because I have never been a fearful, anxious person. I read it thinking, 'oo i'm so glad that i don't have these struggles.. it sounds so horrible' I think i spoke to soon! in the last few months I was told i'd got anxiety and panic disorder because of several events that happened in the last year. It's changed my life completely and i'm a completely different person now and i've made a lot of changes.. not all bad but still.. a lot. Recently I was really struggling to understand why me, and why I had to feel like this, and I was letting it hold me back.. I then watched your video on anxiety and decided to come back and re read this post.. it meant so much more to me and made so much more sense reading it back and understanding everything you were saying. When I read it this time, it was so nice reading someone else saying everything you've been thinking and feeling. it made me feel like for once, I wasn't alone and I wasn't just a nervous girl, there were others like that too! haha. You've made me realie that life is too short to waste worrying about what might happen, i've decided to focus on what is happening instead. In life you've got to deal with what's right in front of you.. not what might be and you've really helped me realise that so thank you! I'm not sure if you will read this but i hope that one day you do and know how much you've changed my life. I know it must be hard to believe reading this because you've no idea who I am or anything but you genuinely are the reason that anxiety is no longer taking over my life.. in fact you've made my life so much more worth living! thank you zoe.
    this time 3 months ago, the idea of taking a half an hour train into town on my own was terrifying.. but now in a few months time, i'll be stepping onto a plane to Australia with an open ended ticket to go and try to figure out what I want out of life because I really lost track of that in the last few months. You also pushed my decision to start writing a blog because it's something i'd wanted to do for aaaages but was too scared then i thought.. just say yes.. just do it.. yolo as you said in your video! So i have, and i'm going to write about all the things australia offers me. thank you so much zoe, i don't think you understand how much you've helped me.. and I know it's not just me as you have hundreds of comments telling you this (and over a million YT subscribers) you're definitely doing something right!
    I do hope you read this as I want you to know the impact you (and you're fabulous blog/YT acc) has had on my little life! haha.
    lots of internet looove! Lily X

    blogging my scary/exciting travels!

    http://floatingbyfashion.blogspot.co.uk/

  437. Hey Zoe. I know you wrote this a couple of years ago, and I read it when it was first written, but I've just re-read it and it has a whole new light now. I've experienced one panic attack that I can recall. It was horrifying and terrible, and I didn't understand what was going on. I collapsed on the floor afterwards and I cried for hours (even more exhausting adding the panic attack on top). I have a lot of fears and phobias, and I know that I'm already extremely sensitive to anxiety. However, this blog post has new meaning to me now, not because I've experienced an attack, but because my best friend experienced them as well. She died last November in a car accident. We had lost touch before hand because of some events in our lives. I found out mid-February of this year about the accident. I learned that she had passed out in behind the wheel during/after the attack, and she drifted into the other lane and hit oncoming traffic. She died instantly. After hearing about the accident (I found out via a Google search..), I experienced heightened levels of panic and anxiety. I had to literally force myself into the car and go somewhere.

    Anyway. I'm glad I re-read this. It's helped me loads, and I feel a bit better.

    Thank you, Zoe! <3

  438. It start with the normal routine…clean up, breakfast, kids ready, bags in car and out the door to drop kids at school then on to work… Lets just say, my experience happens too often…

    One thing that has helped is http://tinyurl.com/d52mzr8

    Please don't laugh. I know it seems silly. Often the silliest or simplest of things are what gets me through though. Food for thought/ comment if anyone comes across this. Would like to hear if this helps you, too.

  439. Thank you so much for sharing this! I had really weird moments, like when a person talks to me and I get a hot flush for no reason, or when I think about my schoolwork and suddenly freak out and get really stressed. It also happens when I talk in front of multiple people, whether it is my English class or my whole school. I am also really afraid of a lot of things like heights, really deep water, small, enclosed spaces, the dark, etc. I didn't know why this happened to me, but reading your story really helped me understand. Now, I will know how to control my minor attacks.
    Thank you so much <3

  440. This post/ your video on panic attacks has inspired me so much zoella! I'm still learning to be more confident (believe it or not even commenting on a blog sends me into sweats) but I just feel like you need to know how much I appreciate how open you are about this kind of thing :)

    sugarbell
    xxo

    http://sugarbell678.blogspot.co.uk/

  441. I suffer from awful awful panic attacks, and I've never been able to fully articulate what/why they happen to my family and friends, but this is exactly how I feel. My trigger is departure, abandonment, etc. My panic attacks began about 4 years ago when my parents got divorced, and I thought I would never see my dad again. So whenever anyone leaves and I don't know where they are, or the thought that I could possibly get lost, it sets me off. I could keep going on and on, but I don't think it's necessary. Just thank you so much, this helps IMMENSELY, not just for me, but for my family and friends who don't fully understand why it happens to me.
    xxx

  442. Hey Zoe,

    I really love this post. I really do. This post shows me what panic attack is, which I didn't know before. I do realize now that what I was feeling couple of months back (and it still happens now) is a panic attack.

    This post is relate to me. I'm 15 now, and two months ago was the first time I ever feel the panic attack. I was scared and I didn't know what to do. It only lasted for approximately 10 – 15 minutes, so yeah.

    I just want to thank you. Thank you for being awesome, inspirational, and most of all, thank you for helping me, from reading this post even. None of my best friends know about this, I'm pretty sure about it. And none of them know anything about panic attack. So this post of you helps a lot.

    Thanks Zoe, for helping me.

    – Keisha♥

  443. Zoe, thanks a lot. I watched your video about Panic attack and thought, oh.. this will never happened to me. Last week, while I was having a class, I suddenly had a panic attack, luckily, I remembered what you've said…

  444. Hi Zoey! Omg, thank you so much for this blogpost! It has helped me understand that I do suffer from panic attacks and anxiety, this I dodnt know. When I went to school I and was going to speak in front of the class or something like that I always just wanted to die, run out and sometimes I did ran out crying and I was so embarressed when I got back to class. I didnt understand why I acted this way or why I couldnt stop the tears, and I felt so stupid. But over time, it got better and I didnt think about it to much. Now, reading this post, I finally understand that I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and that it was because of that I acted the way I did. And I wish I knew it back then but better late then never.
    So a huge thanks for explaining.
    You are such an inspiration!
    Love you a lots!! <3

  445. i am recently having anxiety symptoms, it really freaks me out, i say yes to thinks i'm an outgoing person, they just happen randomly for no reason, this did help. i am very negative maybe that could be it, i dunno it just scares me.

  446. Hi Zoe,
    I have found that I am suffering from minor panic attacks/anxiety but feel it is getting worse. I am definitely keeping this in mind because I try and control it myself like going outside and breathing slowly and relaxing but sometimes I find it hard when people are like 'what you doing, stop being silly' and 'oh not this again'. I have slight panic attacks in the strangest places like shops, restaurants and hospitals, etc. My panic attacks using consist of me getting hot and feeling faint and in some cases I have fainted because it has been uncontrollable for me. I love that you can give me some tips and advice on this because I didn't want to go to a doctor because didn't really think that could help me. But a massive thank you because hopefully this advice can help me.

    Thank you Zoe from Zoe xx :)

  447. Zoe, know this post was super helpful I just had my first panic attack during a basketball game today. I knew you wrote this a long time ago so I googled it. Thank you SOOO much for this. It has helped me and my friends understand what's happening.
    Yours truly,
    Aspyn xoxo

  448. Nicki

    I know you'll probably never see this, Zoe, but I just really need to say it (sorry if this turns into a rant whoops).

    I had my first panic attack a little over a year ago but I wasn't really sure what it was at the time. I was in class and I was having memories from a nightmare from the night before and I just started to freak out and couldn't tell what was real from what wasn't. After the attack I couldn't remember much of it. My memory of it is that I can see myself and I remember what it was like freaking out but what I was actually saying and thinking is just not there. Like I'm watching it on but it's on mute, if that makes any sense.

    Since then, the panic attacks have increased in frequency to the point that now I have one a day or every other day. Until a coupe months ago I still didn't know what was going on with me and I didn't have the courage to talk with anyone about it. Some people had seen me have my first one and told my dad but I assured him it was a one time, hormonal thing. I really wished I hadn't.

    One day, a couple of months ago, I was searching through Marcus Butler's videos and one the side was your panic attack video. While watching I had a panic attack because I didn't want to have anxiety, which I'm still not sure if I have or not, and I really didn't want to keep having panic attacks. I was, however, so grateful that because of your video I could finally have some control over myself by at least knowing what was happening to me. Also, some of my friends have since told me that they've watched the video and it's helping them understand what I'm going through.

    Because of you I've also told my parents about them which has been a big weight off my shoulders as I thought that they would see me as crazy but seeing how far you've come and what an inspiration you are despite having anxiety gave me so much more courage.

    I have just read this post and it's so brilliantly written. The way you've described what they're like and the fact that you're willing to open up to thousands of people about it is so brave of you and inspiring. I won't lie, I have only just stopped crying at this because someone understands. Even though I don't know you personally know you it's so comforting to know that I'm not alone in having them which makes me feel better about having them even if it doesn't help them particularly.

    Since your video I've looked up panic attacks and I know have countless ways I know I can try when I get one including your ones. The ones that help me, if anyone else is reading this, is reading my favourite book, listening to a calm playlist, drinking a lot of water and biting my lip (I know this one sounds real but it helps me separate the real pain from the dream pain which help me sort out what's real and what's not). I am downloading Diana Vickers album now so that I can try that as well.

    I just really wanted to thank you for helping more than I thought anyone really could. I'm not better yet but I'm trying to and that's because of you. I know you won't see this and I'm basically talking to myself but you are all I want to be from life. You are so beautiful and brave and strong. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Nicki xx

  449. I find it amazing how this post was written about 1 1/2 years ago yet still remains so relevant. I have recently started to struggle with panic attacks myself, and find it hard to communicate to my friends and family how best to help me. I will definitely recommend this post to them – you have outlined everything that I find really works in calming my nerves and my anxiety. I don't want to sound cheesy, but you have actually really inspired me! 'Just say yes' is fast becoming my new motto…I hope that you continue to get better, thank you so much for sharing what I know is a very personal issue with us all, I think I speak for everyone when I say that it is much appreciated x

    http://recognisablestranger.wordpress.com/

  450. Avalon

    Thank you for this amazing post, it's so well written and I think it is probably the most understanding post about panic attacks I'll ever read. I, myself do not suffer through panic attacks, but reading this made me understand so much more and I now know how to help others. I had a question though: How did you know at first that it was a panic attack and you weren't just extremely sick? To think that people suffer through these kinds of things is horrible, but I'm always there to support people who are in stress and need help. The fact that you put such a personal thing all into word, into a massive post is so brave and I admire you for that. Xxx

    *Mwah* <3

    Question: How did you know at first that it was a panic attack and you weren't just extremely sick? Only if someone is able to answer, I'm not demanding anything.

  451. I go through the same thing! I've them since practically forever, I never knew what it was and some times they got really bad, to the point where I started panicing all over again because I was afraid I was going to die. I never really knew what it was until I saw your video and blog posts. It inspired me to research it a bit more and now I really understand it and I'm really glad I do. As I've gotten older, it's gotten a bit worse. I had an attack one day when it was my turn to read a page of Macbeth in language arts class and now just reading out loud in class causes it. Thank you so much for this.

  452. I've recently set up a blog regarding mental illnesses and psychological disorders. It would be great to have some of you visit my blog and provide me with some feedback. Thanks :)

    http://finding-reason.blogspot.sg/

  453. Thank you Zoe for writing this. Someone needed to and I'm glad you did.
    I've had panic attacks and anxiety for 3 and a half years and more recently have been suffering with derealisation and depersonalisation. Anyone else had these? How do you cope with these?
    Also, I am flying to France in 7 weeks and the last time I was on a plane I had a huge panic attack just before taking off. What can I do?

    Sofia, xo

  454. Krissy

    Thank you for writing this! Its really helped me come to terms with my anxiety. Personally my anxiety is triggered by stress, because my Alevel exams are coming up really soon I have been panicking a lot recently. I try my hardest to try not to over think but sometimes I freak out because I feel like i'm going to fail and I desperately need to do well so i can get into university :( Writing helps me so I wrote my own blog post about anxiety. Thanks again for sharing this and I love your blog and your YouTube channel.
    Krissy
    http://theyoungwhip.wordpress.com/

  455. I still suffer really badly with panic attacks :/ thanks for this sooo much zoella. I've been inspired to do my own blog post on what helps me with anxiety (i'm mentoring some younger girls dealing with anxiety) so check it out and let me know your tips :)

    http://sugarbell678.blogspot.co.uk/

  456. Hi I was wondering if you still have these panic attacks and if you can do a video about it please , and reading this helped me so much , thanks xxx

  457. d

    Anyone else hate the DOOM feeling!?

    That was the worst part of a panic attack for me, and then everything would feel really surreal and I'd feel detached from my body. Thankfully I found a way to cure my panic attacks. I had spent a lot time trying things, counseling and therapy, techniques, and nothing really GOT RID OF IT, but I finally found a method that worked and literally CURE my anxiety! I have had any for a couple years now!

    If you'd like to know how I did it, please check out my blog and youtube:

    http://curepanicattacksaway.blogspot.com/

    and

    http://www.youtube.com/user/CurePanicAttacksAway

    :)

  458. I've been through the same thing. And what you write is exactly how i felt/feel. When i get the feeling i am goinh to panic i take a chewing gum. i don't know why but it really helps me. maybe it distracts me.
    It was such a good feeling to read this post..to see i am not alone. Two years ago i always was upset and thought i am not normal.
    i'm glad to read that you don't have panic attacks that often now :)

  459. Chloe

    Hi
    What a fantastic post. I've been looking around for someone to have written about what I go through when i have a panic attack.
    Like you, I had panic attacks for around 3 years but never went to the Dr because I thought I could handle it myself. It got to the point where any change to plans or anything new could trigger it or, at one stage, just someone saying hi to me would through me into a spiral of panic. My boyfriend throughout it all was amazing and although he couldnt understand why I was panicking he was so supportive and at my worst, very gently suggested that I wasnt coping like I was before and maybe it was time to see the Dr.
    I guess this is where you and I had different experiences. My GP couldnt have been better, she sat and listened while I cried and told her exactly what happened and how I felt whilst having a panic attack. After asking me a few questions she put me on a super low dose, 6 month, corrective course of Citalopram. The first few days were awful. In order for it to correct the anxiety it pretty much has to make it worse before it gets better but all of a sudden I realised I wasnt panicking any more. I felt so much better, more like myself. I could go out with friends again and not worry about anything, I could say hi to someone and not fly into a spiral.
    Everyone has different ways of dealing with panic attacks and different ways that help them. When I got panic attacks I used to put a film on or an episode of some rubbish TV show to try and take my mind off it but I know that doesnt work for everyone. My mum for instance cant do that because her mind wanders so she tries to read a book instead which I cant do because I dont concentrate.
    Anyway, what Im trying to say is that it can/does get better. You just have to find what works for you :)
    Thank you for writing your post. I havent felt that comfortable sharing my experience before :)
    Chloe

  460. Thankyou soooooo sooooo much for this post! It's so nice to know you're not alone or going crazy! I was in exactly the same place and thought I would never escape it but you can…you and this blog proves that, and you've let hundreds of people know that they are not alone! xxxx

  461. This was a very interesting post. I have an anxiety disorder and like reading other peoples experiences. This encouraged me to write my own post about Anxiety as well as my Tic Disorder. Thank you so much for sharing your story!!
    xx
    ~kinahgrace

  462. Lauren

    Hi Zoe,
    I just wanted to say thank you for this.
    I've been dealing with anxiety personally for over 4 years now, however I have only recently started experiencing some major panic attacks.
    Besides helping me realise that I'm not alone, this post has helped me to understand panic attacks further, but also see how someone else is experiencing them.
    I also understand that it's quite difficult to write about something so personal, so thank you so much for having the courage to write it all out, even your video helped me a lot.
    Also, thank you for helping people who haven't experienced a panic attack to realise just how difficult they are, and what/what not to do when you're with someone going through a panic attack. I really do appreciate it.
    And finally, a massive congratulations to you for coming as far as you have since those early days.
    All the very best for the future :)
    xx Lauren

  463. I only found out recently that I have been suffering from panic and anxiety attacks (in april) and I really had felt like I was on my own, and nobody would understand how I feel, and I can honestly not thank you enough, this has sort of helped me in a way, to know that I'm not the only person (although I already know that there are thousands of other suffers) but for you to put it to words has really helped. Xxx

  464. This is literally the most accurate and helpful thing I have read about anxiety/panic attacks. It's a hard thing to describe and a personal subject to talk about, but you helped me and lots of other people. Thanks :)

  465. Thank you for writing this, Zoe. It helped me a lot.xx

  466. I've suffered with them for many years now and i'm only 14. For me they are caused by a phobia of sick and it has stopped me from doing things I would love to do after bad experiences especially on coach trips with my school. Every year at my school with a reward day where you can go to flamingo land or the trafford centre etc.. and I have not been on a single one so far and i get asked why I don't go and just make up an excuse. I have been into hospital 3 times.
    I've had one at a sleepover, at school but mostly at home.

    It's so amazing to know that I'm not alone with it, that there are people out there who understand despite my friends not having them. I used to ask my mum why I wasn't normal or why it was happening to me. For me the doctors didn't help as well, nothing seemed to. Your video on youtube has really cheered me up knowing you understand even though we don't know each other.
    So thank you for doing the video, it as made me feel better about my self and I haven't had a panic attack, severely for over a year now :) x

  467. Zoe, you are so amazing! I recently discovered your YouTube and Louise's and you remind me so much of me and my best friend. We are crazy when we are together and half our school calls us and our other friend the Crazy Trio. I admire your ability to deal with your panic attacks and know exactly what you need to do when you have one. I've had minor ones, but nothing extreme and I usually find that being alone and reading something, anything really, makes me calm down. The rest of the trio knows this and if I ever go a bit crazy or start freaking out, leave me alone and supply me with reading materials if I ask. It's a little weird, but it works for me. Lol. :-)

  468. My sister suffers from panic attacks; really bad ones; and when I showed this to her she was so grateful and her attacks have calmed down because she has taken these tips.

    It's so well written and very helpful, thank so much Zoey for posting this. Not only for our family, for the other 450 people that have gotten help from this post aswell.

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  470. Im scared of driving because i nearly crashed once really badly and had a huge panic attack and i haven't driven in a year, im really scared about it, but maybe i should give it a give it ago

  471. Zoe, I'm not sure if you'll see or reply to this, but I hope you do. I get stressed extremely easily; it feels as if my heart is always beating fast and my palms sweat excessively. I can also remember several occasions when I've had breakdowns in public places- for example, while I was shopping for my halloween costume a few years ago. I felt bad for making my mom run me around town and I wanted to choose a costume I would feel confident in and not feel judged about. I burst into tears in the middle of the store. It was quite embarrasing, actually. But besides that, sometimes while I'm in the grocery store or other public places with lots of people, I'll feel extremely nervous and self-conscious. I feel as if everyone is staring at me, and I just want to be anywhere but there.

    So my question is, do you think I have a panic disorder, or do I just suffer from extreme stress? I know you're not a doctor, but since you go through stuff like that, I was hoping you could help. Thanks a ton xx

  472. Thanks Zoe :)

    I am a very anxious person by nature which can be crippling at times, especially when im driving as panic attacks behind a steering wheel are not only dangerous but lead to full on tears (I was rear ended by another driver last year and now I cannot sit in a car without being hypervigilent or cry).

    Thanks for these tips :)

  473. I have panic attacks and am in floods of tears at the thought of meeting new people, I really dont understand why, Im 21 years old yet constantly seek reassurance from the people I love. As I have struggled with eating disorders in the past etc my confidence is at an all time low and it is very hard to pick it up again especially when you have panic attacks at the THOUGHT of meeting people. Thank you for this blog :) really helped x

  474. This is actually something I'd have to agree! Thank you Zoella who is in the same page as me!!

  475. That was honestly so well written. I don't suffer from panic attacks myself but at least I now understand what I should and shouldn't do if I ever get one or some else around me does.
    It's sometimes hard to find a straightforward explanation of things online and this post covered everything.
    thanks:)

    http://www.crystaltipsrandomblog.blogspot.com

  476. Ana GL

    I suffer from anxiety and panick attacks too, and I think our friends and family should read this post. We know already what's going on, and it's "nice" to see we're not alone.
    But what concerns me the most is that none of my friends seem to understand what I'm going through.
    I don't want to go out either, because it makes me feel bad and out of place. But my friends don't understand it. They just want to go out, drink and go to bars. I can deal with going out, eating something, even drinking something, but I can't stay on a bar for hours.
    Bars are really small where I live, so you constantly have to deal with drunk people touching you, bothering you…it's just horrible.
    Two weeks ago, a guy told me to smile when he was botherig me. I just wanted to let him know why I was so unhappy next to him, but I couldn't.
    I was living in Germany for a while, and everything was great. My friends there wanted to enjoy live the same way I do, and my anxiety was controlled.
    I came back to my hometown and I wanted to go out with my friends so badly. First of all because I missed them, and also because I though my anxiety was under control. Once I was close to one of those bars, I realized it wasn't.

    So thank you Zoe for wittring this. I'm going to show this to my friends so they see I'm not the only one. So they see I'm not boring, as they like to say when I don't want to get drunk and dance all night, but that I have a problem.

    The first time I saw your videos I felt we were quite similar, and now I'm sure we are. And it's always nice to see that you're similar to such a nice person =)

  477. I realized while reading this that I suffer a lot if the things that apparently happen when you have an attack sometimes. Mine usually happen as soon as I get the sense of not knowing whats going on. My stomach and chest tighten and I feel like I'm going to cry or scream. I have to clench my fists and I can't unclench them until the feeling passes. My heart races and I feel like if something doesn't happen to stop it I'll just drop dead and it's terrible. This has happened a few times and I never knew why. Like a few weeks ago when I was on vacation with my family and we were walking around and we weren't going anywhere. This freaked me out so so much but my family didn't understand what was happening. Am I having panic attacks? Or is just me being a weirdo?

  478. Please check out my post, I'm 14 and have suffered from anxiety :(
    Thanks xxxxx

  479. I have extreme panic attacks since I was 15 years old my longest one lasted over 12 hours black out many time I come out and when they try to calm me down at the hospital I freak out and and hyperventilating again they had to put me on a oxygen tank I'm only 18 now but I had trouble breathing and I kept blacking out my heart rate was extremely high they had to drug me to knock me out I came that close of dying it scares me now if my heart rate picks up to fast like if I'm running I will have another scary panic attack in waves for weeks it's hell my first panic attack was at bible camp 6 thousand feet up in the mountains they didn't know what was wrong with me it was terrible I was actually paralysed and my hand curled up I think it was a Cesar but not sure all my Doctor's don't know we did all the test and nothing it's odd that's my story to share I have almost all the symptoms when it happens but I black out a lot that's the unknown Q?

  480. I also have a blog post about my experiences with panic attacks and how I have eventually nearly overcome mine, I hope if you read this it will inspire you to take control. xx

  481. While i was reading your post i realized that mine panic attacks started the same way.

    I am 17 and life is pretty much hard with anxiety, panic attacks and depression.I have been struggling a lot, my friend kept asking me go to parties, pubs and discos but i just can't help it and i had to say no.Nobody actually knows, so they think that i am antisocial or something, so one day they stopped asking me to go out with them.I felt terrible, i thought they didn't want to go out with me, they didn't like me and negative thoughts came a lot.

    But one day this summer the same friends asked me to go out to a club, and i kinda said yes because i felt terrible for all the no's i said.I felt scared, my heart was pounding really fast, and the hot and cold flushes were there all the time.I was scared there would be drunk people,people being sick and stuff, but at the end of the night nothing happend.I actually had a great time, and made a progress in my life.

    Of course the panics attacks are still there, and anxiety too but your post, and just say yes helped me a lot.

    Thank you Zoella, stay inspiring and beautiful!

  482. I first just read this because I really like your beauty channel and I was curious, but I recognized all of these symtoms in myself. I get severe panic attacks in airports, boats, and kayaks. I always focused on the nausea element, but now I realize that I am just terrified I am going to get sick and just panic, which makes me sick. Thank you so much for helping me, and I now I know what to do when an attack hits.

  483. Thank you so much for posting this and making that video, I'm 14 years old and just had my first full on panic attack that lasted for 23 minutes ): I've had smaller bouts of anxiety hit me at random times over nothing but never an actual attack like the one I've just had. I have two really good friends that have had them before that helped me through it by texting me considering I got in when I was in my room alone around midnight. You're such an inspiring person and reading this and watching your videos helps me so much and I hope I'll grow up to be like you and get to meet you one day (: Thank you so much for everything

  484. I have to thank you for writing this. I personally find it very difficult to talk about my panic attacks and have difficulty explaining what they are and why they're happening. This has helped me educate my boyfriend on how to help me through these attacks. I do not get them often, but when I do they are very scary and as an outsider, he has told me how terrifying it is to watch me go through them. He feels useless and doesn't know how to "fix" things so that it doesn't happen. This has helped me explain to him that I can't be "fixed," but rather I can work through them with his support. Unlike you, being alone only intensifies my attacks. My anxiety stems from feelings of abandonment and often the cause of my attacks are when I'm feeling particularly alone or like I'm losing someone. Since I've met my boyfriend, he has been a great help in soothing me and helping me through the attacks. I've torn buttons off his shirt from clinging to him like a life preserver. I hate feeling that way, like I need someone else for my own happiness. I typically feel like a very independent, strong person. But when panic sets in, and I start to feel alone, the presence of another person is so calming. Thank you again for giving such a great description of anxiety and offering suggestions on how to react and help someone through an attack. You're amazing, and strong and wonderful and I thank you so much for sharing.

  485. I know this was posted years ago but I'd like to thank you for writing this. I've been suffering from panic attacks for half a year now, it's a new thing and everybody around me who knows of it usually makes jokes about it later on. Reading your advice and experiences made me cry because I relate so much to it, and it's really good to hear about someone else who feels the same.
    So thank you very much Zoe, I don't want it to effect my life forever.
    Lilliane

  486. reading this, and seeing your video on youtube has really opened my eyes. I have never yet suffered a panic attack, but i do get anxious and panicky. This is never really something I have thought about before, but i can see myself getting more positive as i know its all going to be okay, but not necessarily easy. On behalf of everybody who has read this, thank you for being such an inspiration xxx

  487. Thank you so much for this Zoe. I always thought there was something wrong with me and I didn't know what exactly it was. But this really helped sort everything out and it's nice to know I'm not completely alone.

  488. I've been noticed that i suffer of anxiety attacks and the feeling of not be able to breathe every single time just make me cry because it's too hard for me to handle, it's frustrating like you're going to die, i think i definetly start saying yes to more things as you suggested but it's very difficult to live with it, i have a kind of phobia in drunk people and the ones that may say something about me, judging or just poking at me while i'm dancing in a disco or something like that, i've tried one time to say yes to this. I've went to a disco with my friends and i have stayed all the night with the fear of being judged, poked or insulted from drunken guys and, i've spent my whole night looking around myself and watching my friends dancing while i was sitting on a couch, now i have to start university and i have to move on from my house to another city and it gets me terrified and the panick attack are growning and growing.

  489. This is such an inspiring post and I also loved your vlog!
    I admire you so much for being so brave to offer this level of personal information just so people are happier!
    I have done a write-up of other advice, which is INSPIRED BY ZOELLA..
    http://hannahsbubbe.blogspot.co.uk/

  490. Thank you so much for writing this. It's good to know that other people feel the same as I do sometimes

  491. I know this is comment is very, very late from when you posted this– but I just wanted to leave a comment to let you know how much this post inspired me. I was just looking through your old Youtube videos and I came across this post.

    I'm 14 and I've had two panic attacks so far… One was in Macy's and another was inside a movie theater. It came at such a RANDOM time. I felt a lump in the back of my throat, I felt nauseous (which made me more anxious), and my leg started twitching uncontrollably. I was so scared :/ and for absolutely no reason.

    I think most of my random panic stems from the feeling of being sick. I have emetophobia– fear of vomit, so I get anxious whenever I feel sick or someone gets sick. I feel like this phobia is keeping me from living my life to the fullest. I will never have a baby, and I probably won't ever drink or go clubbing either. I'm also afraid of eating out in case of getting food poisoning.

    The whole point is– Thank you so much for writing this post. It helped me SO much and made me (and so many other readers) more comfortable with our anxiety. I wish you the best!

  492. This really helped me and my friends to understand why i get so anxious and why I panic in certain situations. My panic attacks mainly revolve around claustrophobic situations and the feeling of losing control. Thanks zoe!!

    x <3

  493. Hello Zoe, I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety as well, and it does stop me from going out or doing some of the things that I love. I honestly, got a panic attack from reading and watching your panic attack videos because these made me remember all the times i had anxiety or a panic attack. I love how you changed your way of thinking and you just started saying yes. I started saying yes little by little and now I can let myself go out and do things I really love, and if it hadn't been for you I don't think I would be feeling as good and happy as I am today. So, I just wanted to thank you from the very bottom of my heart. Thank you so much Zoe Sugg. You are like a role model to me and you helped me get over some of my worries.

    -Gabija :)

  494. Thank you so much Zoella. My mom's currently having them and she's damn frightened everyday not knowing when it's gonna happen again, and it freaks me out. Your experience seems a lot like my mom's and I'm gonna help her with your advice. btw I know the feeling of just standing helpless in front of someone having a panic attack, it sucks. Thanks again

  495. This is such a great blog…very understandable and breaks it down. I struggle from severe anxiety and panic. It's depressing…

    Mike

  496. Megan C

    I suffer them everytime I go to school, baring in mind that I'm 16 and in year 11 I really need to go, I missed most of year 10 due to Anxiety. I start school again tomorrow and I feel horrible but reading this has calmed me down a bit, I haven't had a full day of school since February. I hope I crack this soon :/

  497. Hi Zoe. This was a very honest and brave thing for you to share something really personal with us. I have a type of anxiety, I suffer with Claustrophobia, especially in life/elevators. I sometimes have minor panic attacks when I get claustrophobic. Also I get minor panic attacks at small things too, especially when someone puts lots of pressure on me. This was an amazing thing to do.
    Thank you Zoe xxx

  498. I wouldn't say I suffer from panic attacks regularly but a few times I have had panic attacks and it's exactly as you described it. One time, I was in maths class and my teacher asked me a question and all of a sudden I felt like everyone was watching me (silly, I know right?) and I faint and as if I couldn't breath, eventually my teacher told everyone else to get on with the work and came to talk to me but I just couldn't stop crying, there was no reason for me to feel like this but it was as if the classroom walls were squashing me so I got up and ran out of the classroom to stand outside…. Of course, my teacher followed wondering why I had run out like that and she kept asking me questions but I was panicking so much I eventually told her to be quiet and leave me alone! I felt like I'd been so rude afterwards and she said I'd had a panic attack. I was thinking, well obviously! The main feeling I felt was panic! The fact that she was saying I need to calm down made me panic even more… It was a horrible experience. Thank you for writing this post Zoe xxx c:

  499. I beat anxiety altogether by using a combination of deep breathing, walking and some herbal supplements. I believe all these things helped to detoxify my body so the fluids could flow properly, even under duress…just my opinion. You can go to http://www.wellbeinghotspot.com and read more if you like – Thanks, Jim

  500. irenexo

    I had my first panic attack a couple months ago at the end of the school year but I ignored it because summer break was starting soon and I just really did not want to deal with it. This summer was very lonely, I was by myself pretty much everyday, but I just couldn't handle being around anyone. I didn't go out with any of my friends because I was afraid of having another panic attack even though I had only suffered from one a couple months before. I ruined a lot of friendships this summer. I just started my senior year about week ago and I've already had two panic attacks. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm crazy. One of the two panic attacks happened today and it was awful. I decided to finally look up panic attacks online and that's how I got here. I feel like I annoy everyone because of the attacks and I really just don't know what to do. I want to be able to live my life but it's hard when I feel like everything I do is going to cause me to panic.

  501. Great post and some fantastic advice, I have been through exactly the same thing. I think social support is such a overlooked source of help. The tips are spot on. Distraction can work but its something you have to be really interested in.

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  503. Thank you so much Zoe, I have panic attacks though not as frequently as in the past… You give practical advice that is a much healthier option than how i used to deal with them. I'll admit that my first panic attack was not like yours, i actually woke up unable to breathe and had to leave the room i shared with my sister because i couldn't wake her. It's actually scary to be alone having them for me though… After a few nights of this I told my mom to see if she could help me… But she said I was faking and being a drama queen.. I'm glad someone understands at least. Thank you so much Zoe <3

  504. I'm from Brazil and i watched your video about this. And it really helped me knowing that isn't just me. Obviously, you know isn't just you. But when you hear someone talking about is different. Because normally they don't talk about it.
    I was bulimic and nowadays i'm having panic attacks. I'm trying to deal with it but it's really hard. It's cool that someone like you – that appears having no problem with things like that – say something so personal.
    So thanks. I'm sure that you helped a lot of people! And sorry about my bad english.
    kisses, leca moraes.

  505. I become very scared at night as I think things are around me and when I am home alone. I become so scared which makes me have panic attacks and sometimes my parents are not around so that makes me feel worse. I don't want to tell my parents as it may worry them. What can I do to help myself and what would I tell my mum and dad if I were to tell them. Please help me Zoe! Help me!!

  506. E

    Thank you so much for this, I am the only one who suffers from panic attacks of people I know. It started when I was 12 and was discovered as an panic attack disorder when I was 15 (then I had panic attacks all the time). It was really hard, because I vomited every time I got a panic attack and started to loose weight, people didn't understand what was wrong with me, and neither did I. Finally, I got help and now I just have those anxious feelings, but not panic attacks. I also couldn't go to bars, parties etc, which was a really hard thing for a teenager. I still feel anxious to go to clubs, but even though I knew I have this panic attack, now when I read your post I realized it's okay, I can't help it and nothing's wrong with me, this is just who I am. I understood why I've still been acting weird and anxious sometimes, it's because I'm still feeling those panic attacks, just more mildly. Thank you thank you thank you, Zoe <3

  507. Bri

    Zoe you have made my life so much easier. This post is a fantastic resource and I come back to it again and again.

  508. hey. a friend sent me a link to the video in which you talk ybout your panic attacks and i read this post. first i am sorry, my english is bad. but i try. it's really funny, because i read this and thought, yes, yes, exactly this way does it feel. i had panic attacks when i was 10 and when i was 18. first time i was so affraid to puke that i stopped eating, did not go to school, my parents had to be around all the time and so on. it was exactly like you described. i was affraid to go to places where i puked, or of the day when i puked the last time (it sounds funny)…. then it went away. after maybe 2 years i felt normaly again. then in the summer when i was 18 i noticed that i became more fearful again. I had one panic attack and after a few month I knew deeply inside me thatit has to come out again, that it was not over. i thought, oh god i don't want this. why must this happen to me?? one day i was in school, stood in front of the class, talking about a musician. suddenly i felt like turning alternating white and red, and my heart raced and i said: oh i cannot talk. i have to go out. my friend went out with me and we sat down and i shivered and i felt sick and like puking or fainting. she took me home, i wanted to go to a doctor. on the way to him i had similar symptoms as you described, i thought i pass out or die, i couldnt breathe, i observed the world like in a movie, the cars were so loud, the people seemed dangerous. i realised, okay, here it is, you have to go trhough this, thats the only way, panic attacks are back. okay. i got myself into it. i immediatly informed my parents, my brother, my nearest friends: family i have panic attacks again, i am out of the game for a wile, i will do this now, see you soon. my parents, my friends were very supportive. i cancelled school, i said i want help, i want a therapy. it was horrible. i thought i could never live normally again. i couldnt go out, i was affraid to hear voices, to have something unnormal, to become insane, to choke, to kill myself. yes, really, to kill myself. one night i ley in the bed with my boyfriend. he slept and i watched an animal documentation and suddenly i was so in panic that i would go in the kitchen, take a knife and kill myself. i was affraid to have no control about me.
    but i took everything. i sat in the living room, slept whenever i wanted, watched the trees, breathed, was silent, just was, slept, breathed, painted. i did everything slowly and just what i really wanted. it was a hard and a very good time on the other hand. i came back to myself.
    i loved to go to the therapist. she was an old lady and i was her master client :D i love working stuff inside me. i love to solve things, to spot coherences and so on. it was good, even if i noticed that a normal therapy is not the real thing for me. in my opinion it touches just one or two sides of a human being. unexpected after a month and a half i went back to school. it was difficult, but it worked. and i also flew!! i flew (first time) with my class, without my parents to Greece for 10 days. I was so fucking proud you cannot imagine. in a closed plain for 2 and a half hours! without panic! yes, and so it was, it took some time until i felt absolutely safe and normal again.

  509. sometimes the panic came when i felt stressed, when i did not want to do something and so on. today i live without panic ( now i am 21). what has helped me was to accept the panic, to take it. to not push it away. to listen to myself, what it wants me to say. i think panic and diseases in general are good for something. that want to say you something. hey, look, listen to yourself, whats up. maybe you have to change your lifestyle, maybe you have to remember what you want. in every cases you have to go back to your inner centre.

    if somebody german speaking has a question about panic attacks or needs advice or something, you can ask me. i have a blog too, iw write in german things i want to show other people.

    i thank you zoella for this. i just remembered and i figured that it is really good that somebody talks about this. you hit the nail right on the head. thank you.

  510. I honestly can't believe that i'm not the only one this has happened to, I know that panic attacks happen to everyone, but with the fact that they started to affect going out and hanging with friends is so justifying. I always have to make excuses to why I don't wanna do the things that my friends are doing, like if they're going to a party, just walking around, whatever, I can't go and they never understand.

    And it has gotten to the point where they'd call and harass me and say that I was selfish and rude and that (since my boyfriend wouldn't hang out with them unless I was there with him) I took him away from them, and etc. But then they slowly just stopped trying and I really wanted to hang out with them, and I still do– i'm still trying. But they stopped calling, won't answer me, started talking about me behind my back, when we do hang out they give me dirty looks, and I always feel so bad.

    My boyfriend misses his friends and so do I but I feel like I can't go. I get terrible anxiety attacks cause they drink and smoke (cigarettes) and that's just not my thing and they don't understand. When I get them, even around my friends, they get mad. Which is kind of ridiculous. But I still feel so guilty, like it's my fault (which causes MORE panic attacks and anxiety) and I always feel like i'm just making excuses.. but I know it's not my fault.

    I've been having terrible anxiety problems since my cousin was murdered in '09 and it's gotten worse over the years since the death of my two uncles in '09 and '10, my step-dad in '11 and the murder of my mom's boyfriend in August '13.. I just wish I knew how to cope better but, this really did help a lot. Thanks Zoella. (':

    -Caitlyn M.

  511. I have been getting panic attacks lately and to be honest I did nit even know that they were panic attacks until my last visit to the GP triggered this issue. While he was checking my pulse, I was getting a panic attack.

    I have similar symptoms and things have become pretty bad right now. The longest one I had was for 40 minutes at work where I was trembling uncontrollably and crying like crazy. I have no idea what triggered this in the first place but I am petrified at the moment of lot of things. This has prevented d me from working and have been home for the last two months. I struggle with breathing a lot and this makes worse when' I am having a attack.

    Things like my brother playing play station would trigger an attack, or if I see someone fighting or making loud noises that's it, I start panicking. You are so right when you say not to limit myself or keep a deadline because I start panicking like crazy when I cannot make a deadline and that's it I'm in a panic mode. I am still trying to understand this and tried the internet but did not get much help.

    Thank you so much Zoe, you have covered a lot of things that I have been questioning and I have been blaming myself ford being like this but I have never been like this and I pray that these anxiety and panic attacks don't ruin my life. Thank you

  512. I feel I have to write this.. Zoe you are so brave and you don't know how incredibly helpful it was for me to read this. It is such a comforting thought to know that you are not the only one experiencing something, and I find you to be so brave to be able to share your thoughts and feelings with us. This is something I will fall back on when I am not feeling well and I know it will help me through it.

  513. Natasha

    Thankyou :)

    Recently – over the last year – I've developed anxiety and stress and panic attacks. And after the last few weeks, my panic attacks have become more frequent and severe; mainly at school. I just wanted you to know that reading this has really helped :) Thank goodness I'm not alone!!! You mentioned that you had panic attacks at school, and I was just wondering with advice on how to deal with them at school, as it can be quite embarrassing and stressful there, being stuck in a small classroom with thirty or so pupils watching you and a teacher wondering what the heck is going on :/

    Thank you for the post. It really helped :)

  514. Hey, I saw your youtube video related to this subject.. I was wondering, how did you find out you suffer with anxiety? I know a few people who have anxiety but I'm not really close enough to talk to them about it, and as you're open about it, I was wondering if I could talk to you.. So basically I've suffered from many symptoms of anxiety, including panic attacks, and I was wondering how do I find out if I have it or not? I honestly think I do have it, but when I've talked to my parents about it, they don't listen or take me seriously at all… they tell me "its all in the head" and "I just have to ignore it".. I would go to the doctors about it, but I absolutely can't stand going to the doctors, especially if it's going alone.. So I just want to ask, what should I do? x

  515. That was like reading my experiences! I'm 24 and I struggle with nights out, in the same way you describe, all the time! I will just put a little hand in for the NHS however. I've had CBT twice in 2 years with the NHS and it's been efficient, empathic and the BEST thing that I've done. The doctors were rubbish but my CBT therapists amazing. I'm still struggling, I had separation anxiety as a child, suffered 4 family bereavements when I was 6 and I think as a result I have been left with an over-active anxiety switch (and depression on top!). My last one was last week on a hen-do. I'm invited on another hen do in February and although I'm terrified, I'm determined to go. I cannot, and will not let my anxiety rule my life or define who I am. Well done you and all of us with this little demon.

  516. I have just very recently started having what I at least think are panic attacks. My chest gets tight, my mind goes a million miles per hour, I feel like I need to leave the room, and I want to cry for no reason at all. I read your post and it was so helpful but I'm starting to think that my "attacks" aren't as serious as yours by any means, so am i even having a panic attack. Thank you so much for sharing this :)

  517. Just like ten minutes ago, I had a panic attack because I was doing my homework and I couldn't find notes I had taken in class and I was really worried because I remembered a bad grade I had gotten because I hadn't studied and I was hyperventilating, on the verge of tears, etc. I was freaking. out. Then I saw a related video on your channel for this and it really helped me calm down. Thanks!

  518. So i watched your video on panick attaks a long time ago and never really thought anything of it. I watched it anyway but nothing like that had ever happened to me before so it didn't cross my mind afterwards. I am 14 and used to always go out and i was basically never in my house. Recently i have started getting all of those symptoms for example i get:
    shivers
    needing the toilet
    wanting something cold or fresh air/ needing to be outside
    i can't wait anywhere, i get anxious and need to move or walk
    feeling like i am going to be sick
    It stops me from doing everyday things and going out with my friends which upsets me so much and i feel like i'm not noticed if i'm not there anymore. I hardly ever want to go to school because it reminds me of it and i know something bad will happen there. Most of my friends have there own problems and i don't want to look like i'm being attention seeking etc but i need to talk to someone about it. Up until now i just thought i was thinking about it too much and there was nothing wrong with me and to stop being stupid but i watched your video over again and all the symptoms relate to me. I have been getting so upset over it and it's making me look so bad because everyone thinks i'm being moody but i'm so upset in the inside.
    Its a tradition that after school on Friday all of my friends and i go to Starbucks but everytime i go i feel hot and get shivers and i can't wait in line because i get all anxious about it and FOR NO REASON i mean its Starbucks there is nothing bad about it! Its simple things like this that make me want to scream. Now i haven't been out and everyone is starting to get used to it…i get asked why i'm not out and i have no idea what to say anymore.
    Zoe you helped me so much and hopefully i can go out and be normal because you are completely right!
    I Love You!
    Thank you for everything you have done for me:)
    THANK YOU! PLEASE READ THIS ITS IMPORTANT X

  519. wow you wrote this on 2011, i've read this once, first i didn't realize that i have sort of panic attacks when there's big event coming up, such as doing speech or even bigger perform in front of public. i felt really sick when the event is getting closer and closer. once i was performed in the evening but since in the morning my body just not feeling well, i started vomitting about 4 times i think before i go on stage, even though i already try to be calm. god i really hate this, can you help me? i know i'm not good at english, but i hope you understand what i mean :) thankyou

  520. This is an amazing post i could honestly read this all day. I'm 20 and i had my 3rd anxiety attack last night actually, possibly the scariest one i've had in a while…i broke down and i finally cracked i am going to see someone professionally my mom decided i should go because i am just not myself anymore. Honestly the things you need sometimes are support don't feel like people are going to judge you or look at you differently i find that is something i deal with on a daily basis is I'm scared of judgement and i grew up being judged so thats why i feel that way. I'm not happy of who i have become so i decided i need to change myself this post is so good and the video you posted is soo good. i honestly remember watching your videos and when i heard you have anxiety attacks/panic attacks it made me feel almost at ease i guess… i just feel like currently everyone I'm around doesn't care about me… or like isn't supporting so its time to change who i am.

  521. Alice

    Thanks Zoe for this post. I feel so much better to realise how many people went trough what i'm actually living. You gave me the hope to fight a little more and become a "normal person", as we all were ahah

  522. I just watched you Video and read this. This has helped me soooo much! I have really bad relationship anxiety and i have panic attacks when I think about a guy finding about it. I have been hurt badly by guys before and this makes me think that every potential boyfriend is a "dangerous situation". I honestly look up to you so much.!!

  523. my best friend suffers from panic attacks and although it is scary for me, i cannot imagine what they are like for her. now i know some more on how to help her, and perhaps get some help in the future from a professional.

  524. Hi Zoe thanks for much for this! This blog has been obviously hard to write as it's very personal, but has made me feel so less alone than I do. I'm only 12 years old but was diagnosed with anxiety a year ago. I cry at night at the thought of going to school terrifies me. In the morning when I enter school I feel a overwhelming fear of panic. At School I constantly feel sick and faint. My very worst panic attack was presenting to the class. Everything was dream like around me, everything was so much nosier, I couldn't breathe, I was shaking and stuttering, my heart was racing uncontrollably and I felt the need to escape. I fled from the classroom and cried. For weeks afterwards I still felt depressed and alone. No one understood how much everyday things scare me. Even when people look at me, I feel extremely nervous and self conscious. My teachers don't understand, and neither do my parents. My doctor suggested counselling but my parents said no, as they don't think it's a big deal. I want to seek help as it's ruining my life, and I have gone without food for a day, as walking into the school canteen can give me minor panic attacks. It's really horrible, because people think you're just "shy" or "quiet" when infact it's not that, you feel like you cannot do something physically. It sometimes makes me feel just horrible, and I sometimes go to the toilets at school and cry for ten, fifteen minuets. People just don't see that side of me, and not many people understand that its not something you can help. This hasn't made me overcome my anxiety, but has made me feel alot less alone. Thankyou<3

  525. this was absolutely perfect. thank you so much.

  526. From time to time I have a very minor panic attack from over thinking or stress. Other things that may trigger them are being in small spaces. I hate car trips because I'm stuck in a car for a long period of time where something could possibly happen. Around the time of this post I was in Beverly Hills and I was a witness to what I think was a robbery and there was a gun drawn and that scared me. My mom was shielding me so that made me feel very claustrophobic. I felt short of breath and i was shaking and on the verge of crying. I was miles from home which also scared me. Basically, lots of things give me anxiety (Just writing this is making me nervous.) but this post really helped me understand what was happening.

  527. I have really really bad panic attacks about working. I worked for hotwire (yes, planes, hotels, and car rentals) and I was getting yelled at and death threats for eight hours a day. at this same time, I was going through a bad break up with a very immature boy who's ENTIRE FAMILY was harassing me, on everything, phone calls, texts, tweets, stalking my tumblr. all of this hit at once. I've always had really bad attacks. but they just became more and more severe. after working at hotwire for three months I finally had a massive panic attack and they had to call an ambulance because I was to the point of throwing up and passing out and not breathing.

    I have no clue how to help. medications and therapists haven't help thus far. I have no clue what to do.

  528. I just want to start be saying thank you. I am 13 years old, and once in an R.E. lesson, I either almost had a panic attack or suffered from one. I was not sure at the time, but now I think I did have a mild one. There was already a lot of shouting going on and so I felt really stressed out (it also didn't help by the fact that a few weeks back my best friend decided that she hated me and didn't want to be m friend any more. We had also just had an alcohol awareness assembly so you know). My mum says that I may have got my anxiety from my Grandmother, because she worried about a lot, and as soon as she died, I became gradually more and more anxious, I found.

    Anyway, I didn't know what was happening at the time. My heart started to suddenly beat 3x faster than it usually does, everything was loud and noisy, it smelled awful, I felt faint and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hide. And I think I hid it pretty well because people stared at me, but did nothing. Everyone was too busy talking to their friends and I felt quite alone. The ex-friend ignored me. She saw I was stressing out but did nothing and that hurt me quite a bit.

    The next R.E. lesson I was very nervous that it would happen again and luckily it didn't I just stressed a had a few hot shivers but I was more or less ok.

    I managed to calm myself down and it lasted about 5 minutes so I was thankful, but know I understand more because you have shown me through this post and your video that I am not alone, and I feel a bit better about myself now.

    You understand probably how amazing it feels to have someone out there that knows how I feel about this. I am tearing up right now so I'm just going to finnish by saying Thanks again and if you could message me back, or email me or something, just so I know that you understand, I'd love it! Obviously you don't have to, but, you know, if you want. I sound so desperate right now I'm so sorry! I LOVE YOU ZOE!!!!

  529. Thank you! I've suffered for 25 years with panic/anxiety issues. My husband passed away and now I have a boyfriend that doesn't understand at all how panic attacks can keep me from a job. I'm praying this will help him to understand what so many deal with on a daily basis.

  530. Lulu

    This is such a good post. It helped me a lot. I get panic attacks very often when I'm put in a situation that I don't feel comfortable with. But sometimes I get panic attacks when I'm out, at school, shopping, cinema etc. basically the same as you did. I constantly have panic attacks and I'm glad you wrote this post to help people xx

  531. Hi Zoe :) Im emma and im 13 and i suffer panic attacks as well. I just watched your video and it made me think of everything in a so much more positive way and i hope that my panic attacks will slowly start to go away. I have a play tomorrow and i am very nervous. I had a panic attack last time. What if it happens again… im kind of scared of what people will think if it does. twitter: @gleekloser101 you can always dm me on twitter if you ever see this. Or if you just need help. Thanks for helping me. -Emma

  532. I know exactly how it feels to be around drunk people and you cant get out. I was on a mini bus home from my aunties wedding which was 45 minutes away from the nearest stop home, and I hade a fifteen minute walk in high heels. I cried from 12:00am to 2:30am having bursts of panic, feeling sick, dizzy, hot flushes and crying and shaking uncontrollably. I also have friends who suffer with panic attacks and anxiety, and I'm glad I know how to calm them down. Unfortunately my mother couldn't sense I was having a panic attack, so I could only sit there and cry until I could get off the bus. Thank you so much for the help Zoe, it really explained things in detail.

  533. FINALLY, someone who understands what happens. I started having panic attacks last year, and not even my mum knows how to deal with them, so everyone around me makes me feel even more crappy since they don't know what to do. I thought what you said in your video, and now, when I look back on time, there was a period of my life in which I didn't want to do anything because I was too afraid. I guess that that was the moment of my life in which I was more depressed and I had no idea of what to do. I do suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and depressive tendencies, and it the worst feeling ever. One of the things I've learnt from having panic attacks is that, whenever I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, I should seek for help, but that feeling is very rare, since my panic attacks are usually very sudden and it's true, they can happen everywhere at any time. I'm usually very open to my classmates or people in general about this, but it's only with people that I trust a lot that I can get more serious about it and try to explain them what to do. The problem is, that since they don't know what it feels like to have a panic attack, they get nervous anyways and that of course, affects me too. I agree with the fact that people who suffer from panic attacks and axiety-like you and me-shouldn't have time limits, but the problem is: what happens to people who are at school? I have a lot of time limits, specially when taking a test, so personally, I have to be extra careful about that.
    This blog and the video you posted on youtube, they made me cry. I thought that no one got me or no one knew how horrible it feels to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.
    Thank you so much, this really makes me feel better with myself, like, I am not the only one who has gone through all of this (I should better say "the only one who is going through all of this").
    I have to admit though, that at the beggining, it was really hard to accept the fact that it was a mental illness or that I am going to be dealing with them for the rest of my life, but I am learning how to and getting out more and I even asked my school to be patient with me (by the way, I knew it was a mental illness beforewatching your video or reading this, but still it made me feel better about it).
    So, I'm sorry if I wrote too much. And THANK YOU <3

  534. Thank you so so much for this post! i read this about a week ago and i had my first panic attack last night, i had no idea what to do. my sisters (whos a huge fan of you) read this too, but while i was having my panic attack, she didnt do anything, she just gave me a dirty look and put her headphones in. i was so scared because at the time i had no idea what was happening. i literally felt like i was dying. afterwards my mom told me i had, had panic attack. & id just like to thank you so much because it means the world to me that you wrote this and helped me understand what was happeing!
    xxx

  535. I am sure that I have developed panic attacks at the start of this year. I always thought it was GORD/GERD because I always feel sick, gassy, hot/cold flashes, sweaty, dizzy, weak etc. but, after months of observing myself I would feel sick whenever I'm nervous/anxious. Which is before going to clubs, doing something new such as my first time driving and my first day of work etc.
    I have not been out with friends for about 6 months now. I stumbled upon your video and I decided to read your blog than watch your video. I have been a subscriber for so long but I just want to say THANK YOU so much because this just lets me know that I am not the only one who's suffering from this.

    Take care & Good luck with everything!

  536. ivetto

    Hello Zoella,

    I have just found your YouTube channel as i watched some of the xmas vlogs and i saw one where you said that you had a panic attack in an airport. I flashed "zoella blog" into google search and found this post.

    I can't believe it's this common! I've suffered from a really strong panic attack recently (like a month or two months ago) and I'm still recovering. I've taken some medicine similar to Kalms, but I noticed it tends to make me sleepy or dizzy and lowered the take to nothing at all. What helps me is breathing and distracting myself (e.g. phone games, drawing) which is really hard to do, because it just pushes all up on you. My mom does understand, however she still thinks it's a thing i can easily control only by changing my mind or just letting the thought fly off. That annoys me as she doesn't understand how it works.

    The strong panic attack i had struck me in school at my first class, and i called mom to take me home. Since i had the same problem the day before, we decided we should go straight to the family doctor. After seeing the doctors, i gave some blood samples and did some cardiograms because we didn't know what was wrong to me AS THE SYMPTOMS OF A PANIC ATTACK IS VERY CLOSE TO HEART ATTACKS! The doctors started freaking out when i started shaking because we had to wait for the samples results and everyone was treating me as a really sick person. They called for an ambulance and that even made it worse. I didn't know what's going on nor if i will live!! The fear of dying is the worst feeling you get during a panic attack. For this reason it's so scary. I'm glad we decided to go home from the clinics to which i was driven with an ambulance… If I were to stay there, it would've gotten worse, because the clinics isn't an organized place.
    After that I stayed home for a really long time and now still slowly recovering. I don't want to live with this fear of having an attack everywhere in public for the rest of my life. I've also went to a really good psychiatrist who just said that i don't really have a clear factor for these attacks and just agreed with me that i do suffer from panic attacks. THAT WAS NOT HELPFUL AT ALL! I don't want to do the therapies as I'm still in highschool and that might affect my later years.

    I'm still questioning about the solutions there are to completely get rid of these attacks and if anyone knows please tell me!

    Thank you for reading,
    ivetto

  537. Hi Zoe,
    Thank you so much for writing this post. I've been a subscriber for quite a while now and have read several of your blog posts, but never stumbled upon this one until now. I suffer from almost daily panic attacks and since the academic school year began again in September, things have gotten so much worse. I've suffered with panic attacks for almost all of my life, but I only rarely used to get attacks and my anxiety levels generally weren't too bad. One day, the second week back at school, I ended up having a massive breakdown because I knew I just couldn't do it anymore. Like you, I'd always been hesitant to seek help and tried to manage everything on my own. But starting year 11 meant a lot more pressure and a lot more stress, hence my anxiety worsening. I got to the point where I couldn't go a day without leaving lessons and spent almost all of my time with my mentor. My mum has hypnotherapy and she says it really helps her, and I reckon I may go to the hypnotherapist one day and see if I find it beneficial. I've been getting slightly better thanks to the support from my mentor and some of my family and lovely friends, but for the past two weeks we've been having mock exams and this means I have to sit in the hall with the rest of my year. They forgot to put me sitting near an exit for one of my exams, and stupidly I didn't raise my hand and let an invigilator know as I didn't want to make a fuss. I ended up having a panic attack towards the end of my exam and had to stay in my chair until the end and I can honestly say it was one of the most horrible things I've ever had to do. Despite me talking to the teacher in charge of the exams numerous times, she still doesn't do anything to help and it makes me feel even more anxious when I don't have an assigned seat and don't know if I'll have to sit right slap bang in the middle of 250 students. I'm glad I stumbled across this blog post this morning because it has made me feel like I am so much less alone; there's really something comforting about someone going through the same thing that knows things that help/don't help. As you mentioned, I've come to realise a lot of people don't understand and never will, regardless of how many times I try to explain in different ways. I'm doing quite well at the moment thanks to some of the support I get, but the insensitivity of some people really gets to me sometimes. But anyway, thank you so much for everything Zoe, you are such a beautiful and amazing person and I can honestly say that you bring a smile to my face every time I watch one of your videos. You deserve to go so far with your channel, love you zoella! xxxx

  538. Finally made myself read this post and first of all, it's really well written! I've tried doing some research, but it all felt so.. technical.. I wasn't sure if my case can be classified as anxiety and panic attacks or not, but now I'm quite sure I do suffer from that. Maybe it's not that often now and it's not very dramatic, but still, I could be much better.. About the thing of leaving home, I don't know if you meant generally going out, even to school and back, or going out as with friends etc, but I do understand you in that bit, because besides going shopping or to school, I rarely leave the house. It's a bit better now, but it's still horrible. Imagine I'm 21 and I've never ever celebrated New Year's Eve somwhere out, with people, I always stay home.. And I've never been in a club.. I want to, but then I realise I'm too scared and don't do that..
    Your post really helped me realise what am I suffering from, now I have to figure out how to change it :)

  539. Hi Zoe!

    First, I just wanna say that I'm a HUGE fan! I love watching your youtube videos, and I love your fashion advice, and I've just recently started reading your blog. I wanted to read the "popular posts" first, just to get a glimpse into your blog, and I love it so far :). And that's where I found this article.

    I want to thank you for writing about anxiety. I, for one, am not suffering from panic attacks/anxiety, and I don't believe I know anyone who is, but just learning about panic attacks, and what they are and how to help, is such an interesting and informative subject. I'm glad that I learned about this, because I didn't know about it before, and now, if I meet someone who suffers from anxiety, hopefully I will be able to help them, and I will know what is going on, and what to do. So thank you for shedding light on this topic.

    Second, I know I previously stated that I am not suffering from panic attacks. This is partly true. I'm not currently a victim of anxiety, but I do believe I may have suffered from a panic attack once before. This may just have been that I ate too much, or that I was just feeling sick at that moment, but after reading this article, I realized that it could've been something more. So, I would like to share my experience, and hope that I could get an answer.

    Let me just begin by saying that I hate travelling, and flying in airplanes, because it's just such a terrible feeling, and I always feel sick on airplanes, and I feel claustrophobic, and it's so dry, and I get dehydrated… all those lovely things. Anyways, the night before my family and I were going on vacation, (getting there by plane, clearly), we were having dinner in a restaurant with other members of our family, sort of as a "goodbye" dinner. And I would like to mention, we were sitting in a booth, and I was the one who was squished up at the very end, so if I had wanted to get out, everyone would've had to move before I could. Anyways, we began talking about the upcoming trip, and I began talking about how much I hated flying on planes, and all of a sudden, just thinking about flying on a plane, my stomach began to hurt, and I began to feel nauseous. Following that, I began to get cold sweats, and I began to shake a lot. I felt very claustrophobic, and I was freaking out about going on a plane, even though we were travelling the next day. I realized that just the thought of going on a plane made me really anxious. I tried to stop thinking about the plane, and focus on something else. After about 5 minutes, the shaking began to settle down, as well as my stomach, and I was fine. It was very strange, and I didn't think about it as a panic attack until this post.

    I don't know if what happened was a panic attack, or just a little too much food in my stomach, or maybe I'm just over-thinking it! But either way, I'm so happy that I've been enlightened on this particular subject, and I'm hoping that I could help someone in the future with this new info.

    Thanks Zoe!!! XOXO

  540. doodles

    my friend has panic attacks. i never know what to do though, this really helped, thanks
    xx

  541. Zoe, I would like to just thank you sososo much for this blog. I know I'm like reaaaally late writing this but I've now gotten to the point where I just have to say something. I am 15 and i'm a gymnast. About 6 months ago I went through my first break up, I know what you're thinking.. you can't love at 15 and yes you're right you can't. It wasn't the like break up part that got to me, it's how shit I felt about myself. Like I can't explain how low I felt, I wouldn't eat, sleep without crying, go out, talk, nothing. I had no idea why! Now I can't even be close to my ex. I don't know why.. He's in my PE and if he comes anywhere near me I have like a full on panic attack, as well I have asthma which obviously doesn't help because when I panic, I can't breathe (which is where my asthma kicks in) I shake loads, I cry, I just want to leave and want to go to the ground in a ball. It's horrible, there's been days where I've been scared to go into school because of it, because it started just round him but now it's developed to other people, I can't stand up in front of people anymore. Being a gymnast, performing and competing is very difficult to me, as my last performance i wen't on crying not being able to breathe as I was so worried something was going to go wrong. One of my best friends some times gets in moods with me sometimes where I don't know what I've done wrong, again causing an attack. I don't go to parties, see people, stand outside at lunch, eat in public on my own, talk to new people. It's horrible! But your blog and video told me I'm not alone, I'm not a freak who can't control how i feel or react. Thank you so much Zoe xxxxxxx

  542. thank you zoe…It helped me reading this…I´m struggling with panic attacks since last year..it´s very very hard, the hardest time of my life….and I also lost a good friend because she couldnt handle that…well actually she didn´t try! you can kick her bottom..:)..I absolutley agree with the "time" part…I hate to make appointments, to know I have to be THERE at THIS time…I´m doing good I try things and I have really great friends, they have the patience I need for myself…I am more strictly to myself than my friends are^^ when I am in a situation were I feel uncomfortable and am afraid of getting an attack, I try to think about the place where I mostly like to be (at home, in the living room with a cup of tea) and tell myself that I am later that day being on that place…that helps me. I am afraid of being on a train by my own..when someone is with me it feels more comfortable for me, but the anxious is always there in my head! AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT WE ALL CAN GET OVER IT!!!:) I´m very proud of you zoe, when I see your videos now I always think "wow..she can do all the great things" and that gives me hope…..I wish you all the best…♥ love from germany

  543. thank you zoe…It helped me reading this…I´m struggling with panic attacks since last year..it´s very very hard, the hardest time of my life….and I also lost a good friend because she couldnt handle that…well actually she didn´t try! you can kick her bottom..:)..I absolutley agree with the "time" part…I hate to make appointments, to know I have to be THERE at THIS time…I´m doing good I try things and I have really great friends, they have the patience I need for myself…I am more strictly to myself than my friends are^^ when I am in a situation were I feel uncomfortable and am afraid of getting an attack, I try to think about the place where I mostly like to be (at home, in the living room with a cup of tea) and tell myself that I am later that day being on that place…that helps me. I am afraid of being on a train by my own..when someone is with me it feels more comfortable for me, but the anxious is always there in my head! AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT WE ALL CAN GET OVER IT!!!:) I´m very proud of you zoe, when I see your videos now I always think "wow..she can do all the great things" and that gives me hope…..I wish you all the best…♥ love from germany

  544. I seriously think this is a great post! I've been suffering from panic attacks for years and I wish I would have read this when it all started… I think I kind of did the whole "learn as you live" thing.
    I also feel like walking out and having a nice walk and fanning myself helps along with deep breathing.
    It sucks that most people don't understand but you really did do a fantastic job with explaining this and I'm sure some of my closest family and friends will appreciate this, too.

    Jannelle
    http://www.jannelleinwonderland.blogspot.com

  545. A few days ago I had my first panic attack and it lasted nearly three hours. I thought I was going crazy and that it would never end. It did, of course, but I was to scared to tell anyone. The next day, I had another one in class and I started crying and nobody knew why. The school called my mum to pick me up and she brought me to the doctors where they told me that I had gotten a panic attack. I was so confused and didn't really understand why it was happening onl